Is there any way to increase the volume on my laptop?
Yawwwning
Umm, I don’t think that’ll work.
Fleas!
Dog euthanasia opinions
Isn’t that a little drastic? Just give him a bath!
I’m taking the bar exam tomorrow.
What is the Worst Ending for a Classmate That You’re Aware of?
Well, I know this one guy who…
Passed the bar exam and became a lawyer!
:Ba-dum-tsh:
** The Gluttony Thread
Her name is Snow
**
“Mary had a little lamb
a little meat a little jam…”
**Things that most dopers would hate you for?
Yoga and emotional release. **
Swine!
**Fossil Balrog discovered in Colombian coal mine
Her name is Snow
**
Awwww… that’s so Cute!
**Why did US planners think Japan had to be invaded?
The Golden Plates of the Prophet **
“And lo, if the Sons of Wash-ing-ton fail not to defeat the Land of the Rising Sun, and cast it down utterly, then they shall surely be defeated in return.” The Book of Jashber, chapter 42, verse 127 (Secret U.S. Government Warehouse version)
**What If Russia Invaded a NATO Country
World War I **
“By God, the Russians have invaded Belgium! ‘A scrap of paper’ says Putin! By jingo, this means war! Don’t worry, the boys will be home for Christmas.”
** Career websites
Dear Walmart **
I have always dreamed of a career as a Wal-Mart greeter. What classes should I take to prepare myself?
**Who Put The Fun In Spaghetti?!
The Gluttony Thread
**
Don’t try to thank us! Just doin’ our job!
**Revolution, Evolution or Revolutionary Evolution?
What if someone developed X-men style powers…? **
First, we’d have to work out the terminology.
Fleas!
Men, how do you shave hair around your genitals?
I keep shaving until the fleas go away.
**Is this type of eatery a thing?
Easter bunny - Olden days life cycle. **
In the olden days, we would hunt the bunnies, but only the males, so that enough females would lay their eggs to ensure a new generation.Once the eggs hatched, the tadpoles would live in water for a few weeks before losing their tentacles, emerging onto land, and moulting to become young adults. And thus the circle of life was complete…
I was fired as Scoutmaster
What would your papal name be?
Pope Grope?
**What Exactly Happens To Black Cats On Halloween?
Ingrown toenails **
Poor kitties.
Help me choose a small pet
Toenail fungus (eww!)
Let me repeat: EWWWW!
** I’ve just invited you over for a sit-down dinner. Do you bring anything?
Revolution, Evolution or Revolutionary Evolution?**
Uh, I was thinking more along the lines of a bottle of Chianti, or maybe just a tub of bean dip.
**The death of General Aviation
Whose death has most greatly benefitted society?
**
I was sorry to hear of the passing of General Aviation, who worked his way up from the ranks. His passing does not benefit society.
** Poll: You’re sitting on the floor. Why?
Aliens want your gametes
**
I ain’t gettin’ up until those aliens take their probes and leave!
What should I expect from a Construction Contractor?
Keeping rabbits out of the garden
Instead of hiring a contractor, just put up a fence.