** Words you couldn’t pronounce when you were a kid
The end is nigh, goodbye!**
Actually my pronunciation was fine - but my parents got pissed when I kept saying that at the dinner table.
** Is flypaper cruel and/or am I a sadistic monster?
You’re Marty McFly. How do you get along with your 17-year old parents?**
“Marty, eat your vegetables, or you’re not going anywhere, if you know what I mean.” :eek:
**Why don’t people believe in God?
Evolution (uh-oh)
**
That’s what the Creationists would have you believe, at any rate.
**NSA now using Storks?
Let’s create a conspiracy theory! **
Today’s nominee for biggest shitstain pond scum is…
Is it me or … ?
Bingo, snotsucker.
Damn you Feynmann!
**What do you see when you open your bedroom window.
Nelson Mandela **
Just this morning, I ran into him in my pyjamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.
** Umm…gosh…no, I don’t actually want to suck your cock, but…thanks for asking?
How did you meet your S.O.?**
**Where’s my kitten?
Hot cat beats the heat
**
** Can a wealthy criminal live with impunity on the high seas?
If a gun is to the president’s head, does the VP automatically become acting president?**
Joe Biden was going to try this, but he gets seasick just walking on the beach.
**I Found Jesus
The ultimate in misinterpretations **
That’s not Jesus! It’s Cthulhu! Run!!!
Big baby- C Section or not?
Is it just me, or do many female celebrities look alike?
You can tell them apart by the scars.
When does the pain end? The grieving process…
Ordered what will probably be my last Laptop Ever.
Dude, technology marches on - you’ll get used to it.
**If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?
Where’s my kitten?
**
I Found Jesus
All right, smart guy…
Where’s my kitten?
**Hot cat beats the heat
Blonde 20-something quadriplegic Georgian girl **
Okay, I’ll confess: your idea of a hot cat and mine are pretty different.
Why do people take cruise ship vacations over and over again?
Can you scare the shit out of yourself?