Works like a champ with prostitutes. Not that they’re any less of human than any other woman. Perhaps it being their job makes a difference.
:: nods ::
I find that the women I consider ‘hot’ are far more varied than the media/cultural sterotype allows. And the women who follow the shiny-makeuped artificially-enhanced stereotypes that the media do press on us are often among the least attractive I enounter.
Well, I’m a guy who is also long-time happily married, so take it for what it is worth … most women prefer that attraction, initially at least, be expressed through body language and the like, rather than through blatant physical complements given verbally. They are not unaware that guys are attracted by their physical appearance, they take that as a given; they wanna know if you relate on any other level, and if you are capable of being, I suppose the best word would be a “gentleman” about that attraction - moving only as fast as they are comfortable moving.
Part of the dance of courtship is that, while in our culture at least the man is supposed to lead (making for instance the initial advance), to be successful at it a man must ultimately take his cues from the woman - only hinting at initmacies it proportion to what he knows, from her reaction and from ‘the moment’, she will be receptive to.
Attempting to be too blatant about it (“you have a nice body. Wanna have sex?”), while there is nothing I suppose wrong with it, generally never works. In a way it is somewhat off-putting, not only because it appears a bit aggressive and sleazy, but also as it indicates that the woman isn’t worth the whole bother of getting to know, increasing the intimacy level with which she is comfortable, etc.
Because I don’t want to invest any time if there isn’t anything more there than physically attractive. There has to be a spark of “cool person” in addition to “hot.” And I want to believe that the person asking me out also feels the spark of cool person. If there is no spark of cool person, why am I wasting my time - getting laid is easy. Too many people I know are happy as long as their date is “hot” - at least in the short term - I don’t find them pleasant - I want to be a person to you, not a blow up doll. I’m not your instant gratification girl. Any comment that turns me into an object to be admired, rather than is directed at me as a person, makes me suspect you are more into “hot” than “human.”
(I’m also happily and monogomously married)
Hee. I think I love your friend.
No, hey, I totally agree with the idea that there needs to be something more than physical attraction. No one, male or female, wants to be thought of as a blow up doll or viewed as less than a person.
But there’s a logical leap in there that I just can’t wrap my head around, and that is the leap from “A guy just complimented some aspect of my physical appearance” all the way to “All he cares about is my physical appearance.” I mean, you wouldn’t make that deduction in reverse, would you? If a man, in the process of asking you out, mentioned that he thought you were funny / interesting / whatever, you wouldn’t assume that this meant he was only interested in your personality and wasn’t physically attracted to you. Right?
So if you wouldn’t take a compliment to your personality as indicating a lack of interest in you physically, why you you take a compliment to some physical feature as automatically indicating a lack of interest in you personally?
Hmm. On the other hand, “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” works every time.
A policeman would. The giveaway is that the lights were blue only, not blue-and-red. Clearly, this was one of the rent-a-cops from the local mall. 
If he sings it.
The guys in question here know absolutely nothing about the women they’re ‘complimenting’ (is it really a compliment when they’re doling it out to half the women who walk by?), and therefore couldn’t care about their charms. They’re not acquainted with them. I just find something odd about a guy who wants to get to know me because I’m hot, rather than because I’m hot and witty (and modest), which is much easier to realize if he’s a friend of a friend or we’ve talked at a party (or, i guess, if we’re wearing the same book or I’m sporting a clever tee).
For the many, many women on the receiving end of catcalls – whip out your cell phone cameras and post your pics and stories at Hollaback
[QUOTE]
Originally Posted by storyteller0910
*I’m happily and monogamously married, so this thread and this discussion are really academic as far as I’m concerned, but I’d still like to ask:
Why?
I mean, if a guy asks you out, he thinks you’re physically attractive. You know this. If a woman asked me out, I would assume that it was, in part, because she finds me physically attractive. Doesn’t have to be all there is to it - although in the vast majority of cases where someone asks someone else out without having a previous relationship, it’s going to be most of what there is to it - but it has to be there. Why would you prefer to deny this?
Why create a situation where a guy has to be all coy about the fact that he thinks you have pretty eyes? What benefit, what advantage, to either of you, accrues from that way of being?[/*QUOTE]
Well, when approached in a manner that focuses only on my physical appearance it makes me think that all you want is sex. If that is all I wanted that is what I would be doing right now as casual sex is not hard to come by. It makes me feel like you don’t care one way or the other about me as long as you get what you want. Besides, it’s not as if he stopped and said, “Wow, you have the most gorgeous smile I have ever seen.” He said, “Nice hooters!” or something like that. Not exactly the most complimentary compliment, you know?
Besides that, every society has rules and boundaries and in our society that is not the appropriate way to get a date. I would react the same way to someone who behaved like this as I would to someone who made an outfit out of tinfoil. Our societal rules say don’t do that or be shunned by those around you.
So how about that sister?
Cat Fight and pbbth - I wholeheartedly agree with both of you. Someone who approaches in the way you each describe is going to be creepy.
My questions were actually intended for Dangerosa, who intimated that she’d be creeped out and disinterested by any physical compliment in the context of a first meeting - even if it’s surrounded by pleasant interaction / conversation, and even if it’s about as innocuous a feature as her eyes.
No, I don’t have a sister lol. Even if I did, somehow I think she would feel the same way I do about things that are creepy.
That isn’t innocuous. That’s what guys compliment when we like a girl’s boobs but don’t think she’ll go for the direct approach. 
Well, crap. 
Heh. A few times when I was working the Ren Faire, I’d be approached by some young stud drawn by the allure of my boobies in all their corseted glory. My friend and coworker would fling an arm up to cover my face and say, “What color are her eyes?” and if they couldn’t answer, she’d chase them away with a stick.
(My eyes are about the shade of blue on these big fat blue lines on this website - seriously, shockingly, coloring book blue, and visible as blue from at least 15 feet away. If you can’t tell me they’re blue, you weren’t looking anywhere near my face, sweetheart. But since they are so distinctive, I don’t mind when someone compliments them - either as an ice-breaker, a way to score, or just because they were honestly startled by them. Happens all the time.)
In falsetto.
Yep, that’s why its creepy. It also is trite, unoriginal, shallow and sounds like a pick up line (which is what people are using it for). If you have beautiful eyes, you’ve heard it many times before. Its like saying “wow, you’re really tall.”
How many compliments can a guy pay that aren’t the level of “nice tits” crass?
You have a great smile
You have beautiful eyes
You are really pretty (beautiful)
You have great hair (that’s pushing it)
Are any of these supposed to make me think you have any depth? And that you think I have any depth?
Does it ever work? Once. Under very special circumstances. Mind you, it was only under those circumstances that I ever tried that approach:
Hanging out in front of the enlisted club at the naval base in Orlando, florida, as the female graduates from recruit traininng were on their way to get their first proper drink in two months. Mind you, if I’d just sat there and looked stupid, I’d probably have had one of them come on to me, sooner or later - they were stressed out and looking for relief, and I’m pretty sure so long as I didn’t look like Quasimodo, I’d have gotten lucky anyway.