[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]
“Hi… I hope you don’t mind, but I just saw you walking by and couldn’t help but notice how deep you are.”
[/QUOTE]
You know, THAT would probably have gotten me to have a conversation with you. Its a complete and total line, but its funny and self mocking and fairly original.
Hi pbbth! I used to have a blog, and I wrote several posts about this once. I still have no idea why guys do it, mainly because every guy I know is too decent for that kind of behavior.
As for the “it’s a compliment” defense, well…I’ve gotten it while dressed up really nice, while wearing a heavy winter coat, while wearing an ugly hotel uniform, you name it. So I don’t agree that I’m being complimented every time–sometimes it has more to do with the quy in question’s horniness than my own physical attractiveness. I may as well be a blow-up doll, the guy just wants a piece of ass. I hate it when they assume that I’m just dying to be with them. Sometimes, I’ll hear a guy shout, “How old are you?” As if, I’ll be like, “Dude, it just so happens I’m over 18, so hey, let’s go do it!” Or, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Because that’s the only thing keeping me from ripping his pants off right now, on the bus.
As for a suggestion, in approaching a pretty woman in a random location: If you’re already talking to her, like in line at the grocery store, pause for a minute, then look at her and say, “You know, I don’t know if you’re seeing anyone right now, but if not, you seem like a really cool person. I’d love to talk to you again sometime, maybe get dinner or coffee, are you interested?” It’s perfect, because it’s not too presumptuous, but you’re letting them know that THIS IS A DATE, they have an out if they want it, and most of all, you’re a decent guy. I hate getting put in the awkward position of, “Well, gee, I have a boyfriend/husband, but maybe you’re not interested in THAT way? Or are you?”
[QUOTE=Sunspace]
See, now this is the kind of advice us Socially Clueless Guys need to know.
::makes note to get a new batch of cards printed up ::
[/QUOTE]
A-flippin’-greed, dude.
Great, now I will really have a way to freak out those guys!
“Hey lady, you are smokin!”
“Oh my god, MaxtheVool? Is that you?”
“Umm…what?”
[QUOTE=An Arky]
“Woah, I’d hit that, then come back for seconds” or something.
[/QUOTE]
There’s different dialects to that statement. Here in the mid-west it’s:
“I’d tap that til it fell off…then pick it up and tap it some more.”
Might be an interesting sociology thesis.
[QUOTE=pbbth]
Great, now I will really have a way to freak out those guys!
“Hey lady, you are smokin!”
“Oh my god, MaxtheVool? Is that you?”
“Umm…what?”
[/QUOTE]
Of course, the first thing they teach you in hitting-on-strange-hot-women school is, if a woman asks if you’re someone, you always say you are… (It should go much like that Bud Light ad… “Yes, I am Mac the Voom” “You mean MaxTheVool?” “Yes I am”.)
[QUOTE=MaxTheVool]
Hey, give piece a chance, I always say.
[/QUOTE]
Man that takes me back. Ok, a little backstory. I spent a little under three years as a DJ while I was in college. I had a number of entertaining co-workers(it kind of goes with the job of being an on-air personality). My favorites were Rob, Chance, and Mark. They’d tell the greatest stories, but you always had to be leary because about two-thirds, or more, of what comes out of a DJ’s mouth is bullshit, meant to do nothing except prevent dead air(which advertisers hate). Rob was our main DJ for the mornings. Mark was the evening DJ who did a long-running Jazz program. Chance was one of the weekend crew, as was I. So one time Chance comes in and we’re chatting as shifts are about to change and he’s relating this gig he did(the DJs would hire out to other stations or for private parties) a few days ago and he tells me one of the stories he told at the gig. Namely that he once went to a war protest with a sign reading “Give Chance a Piece.”
I didn’t believe him for a second, of course, but it was still pretty funny.
So, the moral of the story is, don’t believe what you hear from your DJ. Even ex-DJs tend to make shit up just because they hate dead air.
Enjoy,
Steven
[QUOTE=Telperien]
That explains all the guys who used to flat-out ask me, “Hey, babe, if I asked nicely, would you blow me?”
[/QUOTE]
If someone said this to me, I’d just say “Up”. 
[QUOTE=rinni]
If someone said this to me, I’d just say “Up”.
[/QUOTE]
Hee! I would never think of that in time, though.
Oh yeah, me neither, in context. 
Well, I can think of it right away when posting about it on the SDMB, but in real life, I know that I would be so startled that I’d come back with something like an ever-so-clever “um… no?”
[QUOTE=rinni]
If someone said this to me, I’d just say “Up”.
[/QUOTE]
Then I’d say, “I’m already Up, babe.”
Tss Tss