I will create a new language named 0nqlîsh that will become the preferred choice of scientists, poets, novelists, and scholars.
I will use my new language to write the greatest novel known to mankind, dedicated to my first cat Pee Gee.
I will write, direct and star in the movie adaptation of my novel, which will become the highest grossing film of all time. Merchandising proceeds alone will make me a billionaire.
I will use the profits to research and develop nanotechnology robots capable of curing every known disease.
I will then oversee my own downfall, inventing a designer drug so powerful that upon my first test of it I’ll have a heart attack. My nanobots will repair my heart and save my life.
I will die at the age of 150 when, purely by chance, every atom in my body simultaneously and spontaneously ceases to exist.
My last words will be: “Rosebud”.