My ex, who is also my boss and I broke up last August/September. We dated for 4 months and were engaged for most of that time. He is 22 years my senior, divorced once, currently separated with 3 kids (yes I know…).
It was also the best sex of my life.
I believe that he was “the one”, for lack of better words. I have dated a bit since, but nothing compared to the chemistry we had.
We flirt sometimes,well, a lot lately, and I am almost positive he hasn’t seen anyone since we broke up. I miss the sex terribly. Should I try and revive it, with a sex-only proposition?
Better yet, how can I get him to make that proposition to me?
Have you had many previous relationships in which you were intimate? It may have been the best sex of your life, but there will be other guys out there that can provide you with more of the same.
Dating your boss is a very bad idea. Just sleeping with your boss is an even worse idea, believe it or not. What if he wants it and you’re not in the mood? Without the emotional bond of a relationship to keep you both grounded, minor disputes of that sort could explode in a hurry.
I agree with samarm. Not to condesend, but if you are seriously thinking of sleeping with this guy for no other reason than because you once had great sex with him, then you really need to get out more. The details you list: he’s 22 years older, you dated only four months but were engaged for most of it, etc., suggest you either a) aren’t very old, or b) haven’t dated much, or c) both.
If you go ahead and become fuck buddies with your boss, I forsee nothing but a sad ending.
I’ve been with all of them more than once. I didn’t include my (ahem) one nighters, which would bring me up to a whopping 10.
Oh, and I am 22.
Another factor is that it’s very hard for me to find men, and it’s so very time consuming. I have 2 jobs, I support my family and I don’t have time to date. And masturbating is getting old. I tried reviving a sex-only thing with another ex, but 1.) he doesn’t like having sex, 2.) I think he still has feelings for me, and 3.) When we do have sex, it’s just horrible.
Seriously, I agree it sounds a bad idea. You both have family to support, you’ve already broken up once, and mixing work and personal relationships is very difficult anyway.
If the job is good (I don’t mean the flirting!), set boundaries and look elsewhere.
If the job is poor, look for a better one.
end serious bit…
Is there anything I can do to help?
err…is there anything I can do to help?
Oh, and if a certain person reads this: I was only joking, honest :o
I consider it a really, really big warning sign that you two had dated for four months and were engaged for most of that time. The boss thing is also another red light.
I think more important than the number of guys you had a relationship with before meeting him, is whether you’ve had any relationships since breaking up with your boss.
One good relationship can make the last one look just ok. No good relationships make your last one look heaven-sent.
You’re probably better off moving on. If the guy is actually a catch, you’re bound to get another guy who is a catch. If he’s not an upstanding gentleman (such as a boss who fools around with his employees), you’re much better off moving on.
If you have sex with this person, he won’t be an ‘ex’ any more…
Any kind of sex relationship with someone who is in a power over you is, IMHO, a Very Bad Idea.
Let’s see… An older man, who is an ex-fiance’, currently your boss, and he’s still married.
Around here, that’s the life-screw-up quadrifecta. It’s hard to imagine a worse idea.
And not that there’s anything wrong with it, but if you’ve been with ten different guys by 22, it doesn’t sound like you have THAT hard of a time meeting men.
My suggestion: Look for Mr. Right, and forget Mr. Right Now.
You’re 22 years old, you dated your BOSS, who is twice your age, for a total of four months and got “engaged” almost immediately, and he’s a married man with children. (Separated, whatever. It’s married.)
I mean, do people not hear themselves? Do they not watch “Judge Judy”?
Let’s be quite honest; you would have to be a colossal dimwit to get back together with the guy. You were a dimwit to get together with him in the first place; sorry, that sounds mean, but it’s true. In fact, the SMART thing to do would be to quit your job and never once speak to this creep again, ever, for any reason, for the rest of your life. I think you need to maybe calm down a little bit, take a few more cold showers, and find a new career away from Mr. Lecherous.
Oh, some hints:
Do not date married men.
Do not date your boss.
Do not get engaged to people you just started dating.
Do not get engaged to people who are STILL MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE.
Ah yes, the easy road. Hon, if you’re younger than me and have been with that many more people, you’re clearly focusing on others. Get out of this situation now and focus on you to make yourself happy, not depending on guys for fulfillment. I oughta know, I am a guy, and if you weren’t so far away, I’d be offering to help too!
err…is there anything I can do to help?