This seems very self-sabotaging when it comes to establishing, let alone sustaining any kind of relationship: I caught up with a couple of friends this week whom I hadn’t seen for six months, because we’d all been busy with work, study and families. In the interim we phoned, texted and used WhatsApp to keep in touch. If anyone triaged me from a friendship because I had an adult life and couldn’t see them every weekend, I wouldn’t count it a loss.
What works for you works for you; what works for me works for me. I’m sorely devoid of romantic relationships but my social life is full.
Sure, but insisting that people have to meet you at least once a week to qualify as friends seems to preclude a social relationship becoming a romantic one, at least for most people. When I first met my wife we started out a couple of people who got chatting on a train commute, then morphed into buddies who hung out together for a few months and increasingly discovered that they got on really well and loved each other’s company. I’m pretty sure we didn’t have a weekly schedule, though, and any attempt to impose one would have been seen as needy and controlling, and pretty much an instant red flag.
Holy, holy, holy crap! I feel like I have a bullseye on my back. :eek:
“Wrist enlargement”? These guys don’t need wrist enlargement, they need CBT.
This is not an issue for me; I don’t meet anybody new at all and everyone I am friends with (or speak to) is either also male or related to me. (Regarding the one friend, I’m straight and he’s married so that’s not going anywhere.)
There are various things about how I go through life that prevent me meeting a romantic partner, but I don’t think my tendency to build my entire life around a weekly schedule is one of them. If I somehow met a lady in passing, then we could chat in passing, but by the time we worked our way up to regular meetings those meetings would be weekly (or at least pretend to be; I have a loose weekly hangout with my brother & niece that they miss a lot but the slots are reserved and contact is still made on schedule to confirm or deny each week). If the woman never feels that we’re close enough to have regular contact, well, that’s not a romantic relationship, is it? (I’m not interested in one night stands.)
And lest I drag this topic away from sex robots onto myself, if I got a sex robot it would conform to my weekly schedule as well. Of course that shouldn’t be too tough for it, since I would reasonably expect it to be living in my house.
Wow, isn’t that a little harsh?
Another thing to remember about Elliot Rodger, he never approached a girl in his life. He didn’t know how. He cultivated the handsome, high-income image that was supposed to have girls flocking to him, and they didn’t, and this was the rejection meted out to him every day that had to be punished. It’s important because a lot of these people have the same level of social understanding, if not the intentions.
I didn’t know what to expect - thank you for that laugh!
Speaking of CBT, to get through life w/ any amount of satisfaction, we need tools to cope w/ all the unplanned stuff that shows up and puts our life in a tailspin. If we’re really lucky, the people who raise us have good coping tools, show us what they are and how to use them. But most people are flailing around looking for that coping toolset for a good chunk of their lives, including when they’re raising kids.
Sometimes we find a tool that works great for us in one situation so we apply it to every situation b/c we know what to expect from it. But shutting oneself off from people to avoid a conflict shouldn’t turn into an all-encompassing solution, for example, which is part of what I think incels do. It’s like saying, ‘I have this post hole digger and b/c it does such a great job at making these small uniform holes I’m going to use it for everything from digging a basement to hanging drywall.’ It’ll get ***A ***job done, eventually, maybe painfully; but not to your satisfaction.
There’s nothing wrong, incels and non-incel persons, to looking for good coping tools like CBT; everyone needs them, that’s the human condition.
Personally I think they should teach CBT to kids in high school as part of a well-being tool kit. It might save a lot of guys from going off the deep end by their “woe is me forever alone rejected by crool wimmin” catastrophising, and a lot of women from having to put up with their bullshit.
High school’s a little late IMO, and every single kid can benefit from developing coping skills and habits early in life.
Coping skills are yet another thing that incels revile. “Copes” are for the weak and the stupid, not blackpilled incels who…I dunno… bravely face the facts and shit.
And being open to changing your attitudes and behaviour is seen as being weak-willed and compromising your ideals just to fit in with the herd.
Sounds kind of cult-like.
It’s the cult of meninism writ large in poop.
I was going to have to hate you for coining the bastard word “meninism”, but a google tells me that the word isn’t your fault, so now I have to hate the universe instead.
Accepting that maybe everyone else isn’t totally wrong about everything ever, or lamenting being doomed to perpetual darkness because Tuesday is Games Night and that can’t change?
I was specifically thinking the efforts to stifle free thinking and contrary ideas via aggressively critical social pressure.
Yeah, that probably depends on the contrary ideas. “Women are tokens of success and can only be earned by the application of the correct algorithms” is one that needs aggressively critical social pressure.
Actually I’ve been hearing that one all my life. Well, those ones - that’s two separate ideas. Movies have been showing women to be prizes to be won forever, and the ‘correct algorithms’ have changed but it’s always been strongly implied that if you’re single it’s your own fault because you’re doing something wrong.
ETA: For an example of a radical idea, I’d say the notion that you have to be a perfect Adonis to ‘win’ a woman is a new and rather radical idea. Historically it’s been clear in fiction that anybody can ‘get the girl’ if they do the right things.