Me, as well as many people I have discussed this with, find that it takes much longer to achieve orgasm through sex than through jerkin’ off. I speak mainly for males, but some females seem to agree.
I can typically cum in under 1 minute through masturbation; sometimes as fast as 30 seconds! But sex lasts so long that sometimes I just give up in exhaustion and call it a night. Maybe its because I’m circumcised, so the head isn’t as sensitive as it should be - and my wacking methods bypass this flaw. Nonetheless, sex with a living, breathing (and willing!) participant is much more enjoyable and fulfilling than a lone session of polishing the pole. So what can account for this?
Please share your own experiences to support/negate my theory.
Well, that’s not exactly a negative. If you finished with a women in 1 minute, you might not get another chance
I generally take at least 3 minutes masturbating but can take upwards of 20 during sex. That’s because the point of masturbation is yourself while during regular sex my effort is split between myself and my SO.
I could probably get off quickly with my SO if I focused on myself but that’s not a good long term strategy if you want to keep having sex with her
I think a lot of it has to do with cooperative sex being so much more engaging. Wanking tends to be more about getting rid of the fishbat in your pajamas so you can get to sleep. There’s no compelling reason to spend a lot of time at it.
When someone else is on the train, basic consideration requires you to wait for them to get off at the same station.
Woman here. I agree with the basic premise. Some thoughts for my specific case, can’t say they apply to anyone else:
First of all, I only do my solo thing when I am really feeling “randy” to begin with. Often acts with the SO are scheduled as time permits and my desire-o-meter is not likely to begin as high as it is when I do my own thing, therefore, it takes more time. (need time to forget daily worries, which I have already done before I start the solo act.)
For me, I have to be focused on the right thought patterns to get to a climax. Having someone else around can be distracting and derail a good “thread in my head”.
No matter how good someone else is, they can’t read your mind and know exactly what you physically need when you need it. It is bad form to be constantly suggesting technique.
So, it seems perfectly logical to me that it takes longer with someone else, but I also agree, it is just so much nicer!
Whoa…
And here I thought wanking off (with a silent, non-accusing magazine or computer screen full of naked, full-breasted lesbian nymphos) was the preferred course of action to all the lameness (complaints, demands, “suggestions”… or having a mind) we women supply men with.
(I’m having a bad day… GRRRRRRR)
S’matter SanguineSpider? Did your spear and sword rub someone the wrong way today? (joke…Don’t hit me! Ow! OW!)
It usually takes me much longer solo than with a partner. Guess that “connection” with someone else means a lot to me. Horniness will sometimes demand satisfaction even when you’re alone so you do what you gotta do. But sometimes it’s nice to be “put in the mood” by someone else that’s got the hots for you. A screen full of nakedness only stimulates one sense, I’ve got at least four more and a brain that like stimulation as well.
Sometimes it just seems like you guys would rather have that magazine than a real and loving person. So I don’t look like Playmate of the month, so I don’t dress up in lingerie (I don’t wear panties at all but that’s another thread), and so what if I am not a member of Cirque du Soleil??
Grrrrrrr… just a REAL bad day for the ol’ self-esteem.
Dan Savage has addressed this. He says it can be that when wanking, you are rubbing that bacon with a vise-like grip, way more viselike that a real live vagina. So when that real live vagina comes along (I slay me) you are too used to the Wank Grip of Death to get off.
Dan also says the only cure is to train yourself to wank with a light and gentle touch, may take months, may never (!) happen. Either way, lighten up on the guy, he’s not goin’ anywheres.
Is she hot?
Listen, son–
She ain’t got any undies on
Oh yeah!
There goes the SanguineSpider
Half of us Dopers have eyed her
composed stupid rhymes just to chide her
After we mislaid our magazeeeeeeeeens!
depends on the situation…and the position. A girl on top that doesn’t match my rythm quite right? I can last forever. Weird position I’m not comfortable with? God only knows. However give me missionary where I haven’t had sex or masterbated in 3+ days? 1min in and I’m already thinking about baseball. I’m just lucky I don’t seem to have a cooldown period I hear people complain about so if the girl doesn’t mind I can just go for it and keep going until she catches up.
Solo? Once again. Sometimes if I’m bored I can draw it out for 2+hours. If I’m just doing it so I can go to sleep already 5mins.
Thanks guys! You made me giggle, darn you! How can I keep being grumpy when I’ve got a smile on my chops?
Darn it all… trying… to… maintain… optimum… grumpi… ness! BLARGH… can’t hold it… ARRRRGH!
