I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entring into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.
But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones.
You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’'d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’'d may be attended with much Inconvenience.
Because thro’’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’'d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8[thly and Lastly] They are so grateful!!
Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.
(Benjamin Franklin)
Ever since I can remember, I’ve desired women older than myself. In first grade, it was a second grade girl. In sixth grade, it was a eighth grade girl. In ninth grade, it was a 12th grade girl. Mrs. Tonk is 10 years my senior.
I’ve just never been attracted to women my own age. They always seem to be lacking intellectual and emotional maturity.
There’s a handful of attractive women I’m acquainted with, ranging from 41 to 63 years old, each of them stunningly gorgeous. I’m 33. Hopefully I’ll be dating some of them when I’m unmarried here shortly.
My circumstances have changed over time. Up until I was around 25 or 26 I only dated women who were typically 5 to 10 years older than me. The I had my mid-life crisis at 30 and now I only date women 5-10 years younger than me. None of this was consciously planned by the way, it has just happened that way.
I think when I was young I wanted to be older and now I’m older I want to be younger again
I don’t really have a preference for older women, but I wouldn’t run away either. For me everything + / - 10 years is ok (maybe that’s why I like both Michelle Trachtenberg and Meg Ryan)
I’m in my mid 30’s and I like younger men. I’m currently dating a 24 year old, and the sex is great! Men my own age tend to be to predictable, and set in their ways. A young man you can mold to fit your own whims and desires! Adventure on! <evil grin>
Welbywife is ten years older than me. While she would probably smack you (and me) for calling her an “older” woman let me tell you, by far the best sex I’ve ever had. Leaps and bounds above the women my age I had sex with.
When I was 19, I was dating a 30 year old. She was great, we had a wonderful time together, but unfortunately, her husband didn’t approve of the situation, so it ended. That was over 20 years ago, and we still talk occassionally. She taught me a lot about everything, not just sex, and I highly recommend it to all you young guys.
When I was 22, I was dating a 17 year old, drop dead gorgeous, but the biggest bitch Og ever stretched a patch of skin over. Her Mother was 37, and after I broke up with the daughter, and she went back to VA to live with her Father, I started dating the Mother. We really had a good time too, but she started to freak out about the age difference, and we split up.
My current wife is 3 years younger than me, but she acts much older and more mature than me…
When I was 28 I was dating a woman who was 36. The sex was fantastic. She was at her “sexual peak” and I was all for that. We spent many a weekend mostly in bed… I miss those days.
My husband is 11 years older than me. I’m his third wife, and I’m the oldest woman he’s ever been with.
His first wife was 22 when they married, 30 when they divorced. His second wife was 18 (17 years his junior) and they divorced when she was 27. I’m 46 and we are very compatible, despite the difference in age. Maybe because we’ve always hung out together…
I’ve always fancied older guys anyway - my bf is 5 years older than me (not much but older). However, I have a friend who really thinks he’s mad about me (I don’t reciprocate but the boost to my ego is kinda nice!!) - he’s 24 and I’m 35 - he said if we were both single, would I want to date him? Thinking about it, I have to say no - he’s fun and all that but he doesn’t have that certain something an older man has. Its a nice idea being able to attract sometone 11 years your junior but as to a relationship? I think not - not for me anyway.
But if thats what people like, then I say go for what makes you happy
I spent a lovely summer with a 29year old when I was 18. I wanna go back!! Learned a lot, and none of the issues that 18yr old girls seem(ed) to have. I’m currently dating someone my own age, which is just how it usually seems to work out.
