Sex With Solzhenitsyn

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I read this tale years ago.

I was reminded of it while listening to the cricket in bed the other night, when a similar incident almost occurred and a domestic ‘incident’ was only narrowly averted. The story is probably apocryphal but who cares.
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An Australian guy is in bed with his wife. She requires sex, to which request the man generously gives his acquiescence. After a few minutes he lets out a low moan. The woman enquires:

Mmmm. You OK darling?

No. We’ve just lost another wicket.

The woman rips the earphones from her husband and chucks them in the bin.
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I’m not interested in tales of sexual athleticism, innovation, or even deviance. I want to know what subsidiary activities people have undertaken during the performance of this deviant behaviour. Failing that, I want to know what they have been told by a best friend in strict confidence, never to be revealed on an internet message board like this one.

Have you, or anyone you know, ever had sex with an iPod? Have you taken the opportunity to read Solzhenitsyn or, better still, the 7 volumes of Proust’s À la recherche du temps perdu? Or do you prefer the stimulation that only a Super Fiendish Sudoku puzzle can offer in such circumstances?

Just being prurient.

2

There’s a common joke that the most popular position for sex in Canada is “doggy style,” so that both partners can watch Hockey Night In Canada.

3

I used to think about box scores, but then the next morning, while I was reading the sports page… Well, let’s just say you don’t want to mess around with that Pavlovian stuff.

4

It sounds like you need to pray to the oracle of George Costanza, for yea, he has completed the Trifecta. Sex, eating a pastrami sandwich, and watching tv.

Verily, bow before him and his might.

5

This thread reminds me of a joke my father told me when I was a lad:

What do women think about during sex? Well, your girlfriend is thinking, “I wonder if sex will be this much fun after we’re married!” The prostitute is thinking, “If this guy finishes pretty soon, I can still get in two more tricks before I call it a night.” And your wife is thinking, “Beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.”

I don’t know why the joke works, but it always makes me laugh.

6

There’s a reason they’re called crackberries, y’know.