I hate “chivalry” as well. A good friend of mine has recently taken it up, and I don’t know how to tell him it is patronizeing and annoying. Luckly, the women he is trying to pick up on do the job for me.
Politeness is nice. Gender based politeness is annoying. I am a fully capable adult and it is offensive to be treated as anything less (i.e. as if I can’t open a door, stand up, carry my stuff whatever).
Lissa:
I disagree that no women are taught to expect that kind of behavior, because some obviously do and must have been taught it somewhere. On the other hand, I take your point that it is just rude in general, and has nothing to do with them being women. Perhaps I see it more in women because men have the understanding that if you walk into somebody you are inviting a physical confrontation, whereas those women that are rude like that also have the same notion that men won’t hit women.
I guess I probably wouldn’t find that many of those rude women on this message board, just like I probably wouldn’t find that nasty bastard that knocked you down.
You should have went out of your way to “spill” some of the food on him.
even sven:
I agree that a lot of that stuff doesn’t make any sense, but don’t let it annoy you too much. Other men often hold the door open for me, and I do the same if I see a guy just a few steps behind me, so sometimes it can be just general politeness.
PeeQueue
I tend to hold doors more for older people than younger people. Guess I’m age-ist. 
But seriously, I agree that the entire “chivalry” thing is sexist. Whenever I hear someone bemoan that chivalry is dead, I laugh and say, “Thank God.”
Or, as I like to say to piss off the uber-PC people: Chivalry is a system created by the matriarchy for the purpose of oppressing men and making them slaves for women.
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*Originally posted by doreen *
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I open doors for men and women. If a guy is in front of me with an armfull of packages, or a briefcase and an armload of presentation slides or whatever, I’ve even raced to get to the door to open it. I don’t think of it as sexist or an expression of superiority over someone. It’s just common courtesy and a hint of respect to another human being. Life sucks enough without being ignored.
I don’t sound flourishes on a trumpet before I open the door, I don’t make any grand gestures, such as a deep bow or spreading my coat over the threshhold. It doesn’t matter if the person for which the door is held is good looking or not; often times I don’t even know if they are male or female, young or old. I just hear someone behind me and open the door, and wish them a good morning or good evening as they pass through. I don’t expect anything in return, although a “thank you” is very much appreciated.
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*Originally posted by BlackKnight *
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Where do I sign up? <eg>
Of course it’s common courtesy to hold the door for someone behind you, and even to race to open the door for someone (male or female) who will have difficulty opening the door.It’s something else ( not necessarily sexist or an expression of superiority) when a man who’s loaded down with packages races to open the door for unencumbered me, and would not do so for a man.He’s not doing that out of common courtesy, he’s doing that because at some point, he was taught that men open doors for women. He has probably been taught that there are a whole lot of things that men should do for women (pay the bill,help her with her coat, open car doors etc).None of these things are necessarily sexist or an expression of superiority, and they don’t cause problems until they are done in the wrong setting.What do I mean by the wrong setting? These rules were meant for social occasions, not business ones. It’s one thing if I’m out socially with a man who insists on paying.It wouldn’t really bother me, because I’m likely to be able to reciprocate in some way. It’s another if I have lunch with a co-worker who insists on paying, for no reason other than because I’m female. If I let him pay, I’m going to feel uncomfortable (for a variety of reasons), and if I don’t he’s going to be uncomfortable.
While I said I don’t think doing these things is necessarily sexist, I think it can contribute to sexism. For example, I used to work in law enforcement (not the police).There were a certain number of men, who were chivalrous, not so much in opening doors etc, but in volunteering (or assigning other men) to do the most physical and/or dangerous portions of the job.There were, of course , many women who had no problem with this. I am sure that this behavior ( on both the men’s and women’s parts) contibuted to the feeling among many of the men that women shouldn’t be hired (since they get paid the same,but only do the safest and easiest parts of the job).