I really wouldn’t want advice on women from my father; he chose my mother of all people.
I really wouldn’t want advice on women from my mother; she’s fucking crazy.
The thing is, I don’t want to figure it out. If I did I’d be tempted to use it, that would be a bad idea. Throughout the glut of romance threads recently I’ve been coy about how bad I am, here are two concrete examples of what happens when I’m stressed, which will hopefully illustrate my whole “I don’t want to drag some poor girl into my life” ideals:
Yesterday was in Japanese, misread いたくなった (in the structure we were learning: before it starts hurting… roughly) as いたくなかった (didn’t hurt, roughly). It was one of those “match sentences from column a to column b” things, and we always have partners. My partner explained that I misread it and I was mortified. I closed my book, gave up, put it away, turned around, and didn’t participate for the rest of the 40 minutes of class.
Today I didn’t realize there were two worksheets due, so I only did one as homework. I punched myself in the face several times, bit myself on the arm, and sat in the corner for the entire class hour.
THAT is why I go out of my way not to figure it out, could you imagine how miserable I’d make someone? And yes, I’ve seen a psychologist, the brilliant advice I got about those self-esteem issues was to (and this is a direct quote from my notes from one session) “make friends and date people. Especially that last one since it gives you a sense of intimate feedback and forces you to control your situation.” Which I’ve pretty much just illustrated is an atrocious idea.
With regard to sexual permissiveness, the idea of only having one partner at a time as ideal generally means that, if one becomes pregnant or contracts an STI, it’s easier to pinpoint the partner involved. However, from my impression of dating etiquette in the 50s, it was okay to date casually until one got more serious with a partner; at that point, the couple would be dating exclusively because of the added weight of the relationship and potential for sexual activity of any sort. Dancing may be a throwback to the whole “mating ritual” concept, but it’s not going to get anyone pregnant or lead to sex without at least a few steps in between. I am, however, in my late 20s, so I can’t reliably be called an expert on 50s etiquette. 
My parents didn’t give me any advice about dating beyond the equivalent of “don’t come home pregnant” and “don’t catch anything”; I figured it out on my own, and based on my own experiences, I was able to have a normal, healthy relationship within the first few tries. It doesn’t happen for everyone, but a necessary element is having at least one adult couple in your life that have a healthy relationship to want to emulate. The best thing a parent can do to teach their kids good relationship skills, IMO, is be prudent about keeping their love life a healthy and positive situation for everyone involved. This includes treating family members respectfully and fairly-- after all, if you can’t avoid being a jerk to someone you love because you’re related to them, you’re probably going to have issues not being a jerk to someone you want to love romantically.
I think I’m gifting my daughter with that “little white lie.”
And they say that our grandparents grew up in a more innocent age where kids didn’t do these things.
You and me both. Other than–literally–“stay away from boys,” my dad told me nothing, and my mom told me less. I guess they assumed I learned about sex from “the streets” (I did) and about dating from, what? TV? Now I’ve been divorced twice and rarely date because I still don’t get it.
Parents also have a vested interest in their kids not dating at all. Not dating means your daugher or someone elses daughter doesn’t get pregnant. Teenagers also live a life that is essentially hidden and separate from the adult world anyway.
Plus, what is “dating” when you are a teenager? Hooking up at a party or maybe going to the mall for a movie and a burger?
Yes, but it’s not in the child’s best interest. The advice I got from my parents about dating consisted of ‘you’re too young’ until I was about 20. I don’t think it benefited me at all.
When asked about previous girlfriends, Dad says nothing but looks a little too smug. Mum complains about how the exes keep asking her how Dad is, which only serves to make Dad look a little more smug.
All the advice I got was that Dad scored because he had a good job, a good car, was well dressed, musical and had good manners.
I got the manners, but the rest? D’OH! :smack:
Oh, sure. 
My parents fully expected that I would be in an arranged marriage right after college. Or before, if I looked to be inclined.
Yeah, they were going to teach me about dating. Bring me to America, show me the riches and show me how everyone else lives, and then take it away from me! THANKS MOM AND DAD YOU’RE THE BEST!
Yeah, because my introverted anti-social exceedingly nerdy parents would’ve done an awesome job of teaching me how to date if only I’d given them a chance to impart their wisdom upon me. :rolleyes:
See, neither of my parents dated until university. They were both in their early 20s when they finally did go on a date… with each other. After that, they just moved from dating to engaged to married without ever having gone on a single date with anyone else.*
I’m pretty sure I knew more about dating at 19 than either of my parents know even now.
- Yes, I know this sounds like one of those rainbows and sunshine stories you tell your kids when they’re little, but it’s been confirmed by several family members.
Besides, now that they’re bitterly divorced, my mother takes great glee in telling me about all the awful things my father ever did… she’d probably have been more than happy to set the story straight if this had been the slightest bit untrue.
Your kids growing up also means you are getting older. Lots of people, not just parents, don’t like to think about that.