Y’know, the kind of insult where the person you say it to looks confused for a second, says ‘thanks’ and then walks away, only to realize 5 minutes later that they’ve been insulted. I love those. I can’t think of any good examples of this at the moment, though. If you have any, share!
The one from Fellowship of the ring springs to mind, but that’s the reverse of what the OP is asking for.
I don’t know any of this type of insult. But I suppose you could say “Your face reminds me of Helix Aspera”
My dad went to a small Jesuit college in Ohio and I went to a big state university. Dad used to say that when someone transferred from his alma mater to mine that the average GPA at both schools went up.
Took me a worryingly long time to work that one out.
Haha! That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about! Thanks for sharing!
“I’ve grown accustomed to your face.”
“Awww, don’t worry… you couldn’t possibly get any uglier.”
A coworker who got a big promotion, when we were all congratulating her, said to me, “Oh, Harriet, you’ve got a long way to go.” I THINK she meant to say that I would go far, by her tone, but I did indeed just say thanks and drift away, later reflecting on just how much of an insult that was to say in front of our boss and they whole department.
That’s an interesting opinion.
That is the single least intelligent thing I’ve ever heard
I used a varient of this when my cow-orker was designing a new logo after declairing the professionally done ones sh*t and that he was formerly a Graphic Designer.
“It’s different”
(It was sh*t)
I don’t care what people say about you. *I * think you’re [insert positive adjective here].
Y’know, I’ve actually used that line on someone on these boards here, and it wasn’t meant as an insult.
Well, not too much of an insult.
You are as intelligent as you are witty.
For your spouse only:
Your in-laws are much better than my in-laws.
This is generally attributed to Will Rogers, who said that when the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.
In medical epidemiology, this is called the Will Rogers Effect, and it usually refers to cancer staging. If someone’s cancer progresses from a Stage I to a Stage II, the person probably has a good prognosis compared to other people with Stage II, but obviously had a worse prognosis than most people with Stage I, so his migration improves the survival data for both stages.
“That’s the sort of stuff that we’ve come to expect of you!”
OK, I just thought of one that I did use some time ago.
Myself and a friend were having a drink at a bar. Some joiners were expected later. I saw one person coming up to our table and I said, “Well, speak of the devil! We were just discussing the reasons why we need state-sponsored abortions!”
'Course, this only lends itself to a certain sense of humour.
Your work is both good and original, however the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. - Samuel Johnson
Here’s one that I like. People seldom “get” this, and they take it for a compliment:
“Before they made you, they broke the mold.”
You don’t know obtuse, indirect insults until you’ve been to a private girls-only high school:
“Oh, your Mum is sooo pretty! You don’t take after her at all, do you?”
“What a gorgeous skirt! Didn’t they have it in your size?”
“Oh, you’re in the top Science class? Funny, I didn’t picture you as that sort of person.”