My dad always said, “You’re smarter than you look” when me or my brother displayed any intelligence. In fact, he said it so often that it’s my automatic response to anyone who has a good idea or a moment of clarity.
ZJ
My dad always said, “You’re smarter than you look” when me or my brother displayed any intelligence. In fact, he said it so often that it’s my automatic response to anyone who has a good idea or a moment of clarity.
ZJ
Hee!
I’ve heard this one: “Your Mum is sooo pretty! You must take after your Dad.”
A friend of mine (not in my chain of command) at my workplace got promoted. His former position was a step up from my position, so I applied for it.
I was called into the boss’s office (the friend’s former boss - the friend is now on the level with that person) and it was explained to me that it wasn’t in my line (I didn’t really expect to get it).
A day or two later I came upon my friend, who was working into his new position. He knew I’d applied for his old slot, and I told him I didn’t get it, including the statement: “yeah, (boss) said I was overqualified…”
Well, this is very indirect, and geeky to boot, but:
I accidentally-on-purpose keep remembering my brother-in-law’s law firm name as Wolfram & Hart.
For the non-Angel viewer, they’re the uber-evil law firm in Angel.
I told you it was geeky. No, my brother-in-law doesn’t get it yet. It’s still a secret pleasure, sort of an older-sister thing.
Mrs. Furthur
Reminds me of a card I sent a buddy for his birthday. On the outside: After you were born, they broke the mold.
One the inside: And beat the hell out of the mold maker.
(from a teacher) I have a few more pearls to cast before you.
“…some of it grew back.” - Emo Phillips
Okay, this one happened last night as X and I were “talking” to the chatterbot Jabberwacky (there was no one intelligent on OKCupid). We were tossing witticisms and repartee back and forth and saw that Jabberwacky’s quite snarky.
Us: What an attitude!
Jab: Big or healthy?
Us: Can’t it be both?
Jab: Yes it can!
Us: You have quite a high opinion of yourself.
Jab: You have quite a high opinion of your jokes, and that makes ONE of us.
…Zing!
Once at a wedding some frat brothers of the groom started singing.
It was nice for one song.
Then they sang another.
And another.
During the fourth song I was very tempted to stand up and sing the French National Anthem, but I didn’t think the rest of the crowd would join in an help me drown them out.
That’s a really nice suit. Maybe in twenty or thirty years it’ll come back in style.
I absolutely love your hair! Who made it?
Great tie! Was K-Mart having a sale?
Your Schwarzschild radius is a meter.
To a girlfriend:
“I’m glad I don’t have to worry about anyone wanting to steal you away from me.”
You have such beautiful bovine eyes!
Don’t know if she ever caught on to it.
I usually use this one as “They broke the mold while they were making him…”
Nobody ever gets that one, either.
I also use variations on “Your hair looks great, today…”
You have to get the little pause in there to indicate the comma…
I have posted this (possibly apocryphal) story before; however, the whole British understatedness/damned-by-faint-praise angle always appeal to me.
Sometime in the 1920s or 30s, a young British Regular Army officer wangled a posting to the Frontier (between India and Afghanistan, now the independent state of Pakistan). The dour Commanding Officer of the Scouts regiment he was assigned to preferred that his subalterns spent their leave hunting, hiking, or fishing in the barren mountains of the area, and was particularly against them spending time in the dubious flesh-pots of downcountry cities, chasing what few young women there were to be found.
The young Lieutenant in question, from a good family, and with some private means, spent most of his leaves chasing girls and generally living it up in night-clubs, not honing his military skills with “the boys.”
When it came time to write up his review on the young man, the Commanding Officer simply wrote in his report: “This officer dances beautifully.”
A coworker’s son was getting married to a girl we knew and I told his mom that he was getting the better deal out of the marriage.
A Southern thing said to obliquely point out that someone’s being a total asshole:
Well, bless your heart!
For those of us lay people who can’t do the complex math, and still are’nt sure what this link is talking about, could you translate into English?
aren’t :smack:
I really loved your story. It was full of such sound and fury.