There’s the story of the theater critic who wrote, “Mr. X is the worst actor in the world.” Mr. X sued for libel and won. The same critic reviewed a later play Mr. X was in and wrote, “Mr. X’s performance was not up to his usual standard.”
“I’ll bring the Deviled Eggs to your parents wedding.”
Half of the council are NOT pigs.
My English teacher when I was a Junior signed my yearbook, “May you get all the success that you deserve.”
“I really like your approach…now let’s see your departure.”
I heard this on the Comedy Channel:
“I ain’t saying that my boss is the AntiChrist,
but on his forehead is written the number: 665!”
“I hope you find lots of success in the future”
Implies both no success in the past, and possibly none in the future either.
Sid more to be confusing than insulting, to a girl wearing black shoes, “your shoes really go with your eyes”.
A useful all-purpose one for direct interaction (delivered as deadpan as possible):
“It must be wonderful to be you.”
One of my professors had a joke ‘letter of recommendation’ on his door. It went something like this: