I heard a funny joke that you may have heard, but I must share it with you anyway.
Many prescription drugs have generic names:
tylenol has acetaminophen
rogaine has minoxidil ect. ect.
But there wasn’t one for viagra. Then one day a name was made. Mycoxaphloppin 
( i thought it was funny )
Sorry if you’ve heard that one. Tell me some good jokes, I know you dopers are full of them. 
How many fans of The Cure does it take to change a light bulb?
None. We’d rather sit in the dark.
How many dogs does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
Two, but it’s friggin’ HARD to get them in there!
Oh dear lord, lesa. I haven’t heard that joke in like 10 years. Thanks for bringing that one back and giving me a good laugh this morning.
Okay, joke I remembered last night:
Three couples die and go to heaven. As they’re waiting at the pearly gates, St. Peter comes up to the first couple and looks them over.
“Nope.” says the saint, “I can’t let you in.”
The husband is flabbergasted and demands, “Why not?! We’re good people!”
“Because all you were ever interested in was money. Greed, greed, greed was your motto. You never gave to charity or anything. I mean, look, you even married a woman named, Penny.” was the saint’s reply.
So he moves on to the second couple and looks them over for a moment before saying,
“Nope. Can’t let you in either.”
The husband is absolutely irate, “Why not?!? We gave to charities, we helped our friends, we were good people!”
“Because you were addicted to alcohol. It was your ultimate vise. You drank and drank and drank your lives away. I mean, come on, you even married a woman named, Brandy.”
So the husband of the third couple looks over at his wife and says. “We don’t stand a chance, do we Fanny?”
I love that joke.
When Michael Jackson had his first son he didn’t know much about the birth process, so he had a little chat with the doctors after the birth.
MJ: “I know my wife doesn’t know much about these things so we decided to ask you. How long do we have to wait before we can have sex?”
Doctor: “Well, I’d at least wait untill he starts walking before you…”
— G. Raven
That was bad, hahaha, but deinfatly a good laugh, thanks Morrison’s Lament!
A priest, a rabbi and an indian walk into a bar and sit down.
The bartender comes over and says, “What is this, a joke?!”
[sup]How many tech support guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?[/sup]
I didn’t get the one about the “big orange head” in another thread, and now I can’t find the post—so if you understood that one…
[sub]N/A…that’s a hardware problem.[/sub]
Why did the penguin join the circus?
Just for the Hallibut.
(sorry for the smilies, but it’s my favourite ever joke)
Do you hear about the tuna that went bad?
He was rotten to the albacore.
/me shoots andyman in the head.
Just kidding. I love jokes like that.
Another I remembered the other night:
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on him.
I’m so funny.
::slaps Simetra upside the head for stealing one of his jokes!:: 
Anyway, here’s another, which I may or may not have posted before…
Have you heard about the bird disease going around?
It’s called Twirpese.
It’s a canarial disease.
It’s untweetable. :eek:
Tanto and the Lone Ranger are getting their camp ready for the night when a rattlesnake jumps from under a rock and bites the Lone Ranger right in the crotch! He yells, shoots the snake and turns to Tanto. “Tanto, I need you to ride to town as fast as you can and bring back the doc! Hurry!” Tanto jumps on his horse and races to town. He bursts into the doctor’s office and finds the doc delivering a baby. He quickly explains that Lone Ranger has been bitten by a snake and needs help. The doctor says, “I’ll come when I get a chance. In the meantime, you’ve got to ride back to him, take a knife and make a small cut around the wound and suck the poison out!” “Suck out poison?” “That’s right! You’ve got to suck it out!” Tanto thinks about this for a moment, nods and runs out to his horse. As he pulls up at camp, the Lone Ranger is laying there holding his penis. “Tanto! Where the hell is the doctor!?” “He not coming.” “What!? What did he say?” “Him say you gonna die, Kemosabe” :eek:
[sub]OOOOooooo, I LUV dat one! I slay me, I really really do…[/sub]
WARNING: Long Joke Ahead (but it is worth it)
There was a man who traveled around on business quite a bit. In order to help his wife keep from getting lonely while he was away, he went to a pet store to by her something to keep her company.
When he got to the shop, he looked and the dogs and cats but couldn’t make up his mind. He decided to ask the shop keeper for a little help.
The shop keeper said “Well, dogs and cats are fine, but if you really want a pet your wife can relate to, you need to get her a talking parrot.”
The man said “Hey, that is a great idea, do you have any that talk?”
“I hav one in the back that speaks 3 languages and is very easy to carry on a conversation with.”
“How much do you want for him?”
“I will let you have him for $200.”
The man is astounded, “Only $200, that sounds crazy, what is wrong with him?”
The shop keeper replys, “Well, he doesn’t have any legs.”
“NO LEGS, then how does he stand on his perch?”
“Well, he has a prehensile penis that he wraps around the cross bar, and he stands on that.”
The man thought this over, and decided that while it was a little unusual, the price was too good to pass up. So he bought the bird and took it home to his wife.
His wife loved the bird, even with it’s little oddity.
One day, the man comes up to the bird and says, “I am going out of town on business for the week. While I am gone, I want you to keep and eye on my wife and tell me what she does while I am gone.”
The bird replys “OK, no sweat man.”
After the week has passed, the man returns from his business trip. The first thing he does when he gets home is walks up to the parrot and asks for a report on his wife’s behavior while he was gone.
The parrot says,“Well on Monday, all she did was get the mail from the Mail Man.”
“OK, that is normal, go on.”
“On Tuesday, she asked him in for a cup of coffee.”
The man says, “Well, I guess there is nothing wrong with that.”
The parrot continues,“On Wednesday, they took their coffee into the living room, and sat on the sofa and talked.”
“This is not sounded good.” the man says.
“On Thursday, they started kissing while sitting on the sofa”
The man excliams “OH MY GOD, What about Friday???”
The parrot answers, “Well on Friday, they started takeing off their clothes.”
The man became frantic and demanded, “Then what did they do?!?!?”
The parrot said," I don’t know, I popped a boner and fell off the perch."
WARNING: Long Joke Ahead (but it is worth it)
There was a man who traveled around on business quite a bit. In order to help his wife keep from getting lonely while he was away, he went to a pet store to by her something to keep her company.
When he got to the shop, he looked and the dogs and cats but couldn’t make up his mind. He decided to ask the shop keeper for a little help.
The shop keeper said “Well, dogs and cats are fine, but if you really want a pet your wife can relate to, you need to get her a talking parrot.”
The man said “Hey, that is a great idea, do you have any that talk?”
“I hav one in the back that speaks 3 languages and is very easy to carry on a conversation with.”
“How much do you want for him?”
“I will let you have him for $200.”
The man is astounded, “Only $200, that sounds crazy, what is wrong with him?”
The shop keeper replys, “Well, he doesn’t have any legs.”
“NO LEGS, then how does he stand on his perch?”
“Well, he has a prehensile penis that he wraps around the cross bar, and he stands on that.”
The man thought this over, and decided that while it was a little unusual, the price was too good to pass up. So he bought the bird and took it home to his wife.
His wife loved the bird, even with it’s little oddity.
One day, the man comes up to the bird and says, “I am going out of town on business for the week. While I am gone, I want you to keep and eye on my wife and tell me what she does while I am gone.”
The bird replys “OK, no sweat man.”
After the week has passed, the man returns from his business trip. The first thing he does when he gets home is walks up to the parrot and asks for a report on his wife’s behavior while he was gone.
The parrot says,“Well on Monday, all she did was get the mail from the Mail Man.”
“OK, that is normal, go on.”
“On Tuesday, she asked him in for a cup of coffee.”
The man says, “Well, I guess there is nothing wrong with that.”
The parrot continues,“On Wednesday, they took their coffee into the living room, and sat on the sofa and talked.”
“This is not sounded good.” the man says.
“On Thursday, they started kissing while sitting on the sofa”
The man excliams “OH MY GOD, What about Friday???”
The parrot answers, “Well on Friday, they started takeing off their clothes.”
The man became frantic and demanded, “Then what did they do?!?!?”
The parrot said," I don’t know, I popped a boner and fell off the perch."
<HIJACK>
Please excuse the double post. I was unsure that it went through the first time. Moderator, please correct.
<hijack>
you guys are the best!
Why did the oyster refuse to give up his pearl?
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He was shellfish!
reminds me of this old joke. “Ole” should be pronounced “Oley”.
Guy walks into Ole Olsen’s Chinese Restaurant, asks the Oriental proprietor how the restaurant got its name.
Well, says the proprietor, I get in on the boat at Ellis Island, and I’m standing in line behind a bunch of big Swedes from another boat. Immigration man he ask this big Swedish fellow, What you name? He say, “Ole Olsen”. He say, O.K., go on through. So he ask the next big guy, What you name? He say, “Ole Olsen”. He say, O.K., go on through.
So he ask me, What you name?
So I tell him: “Sam Ting”!
Three guys walking through the forest, an englishman, a frenchman, and an american. They get lost, and are soon abducted by a native tribe.
“We’re going to skin you, and make canoes out of your skin, but you can choose how you want to die.”
Englishman steps up, and asks for a sword. “For England!” he yells, and stabs himself in the heart.
Frenchman steps up, asks for a gun. “For France!” Then, blows his head off.
American steps up, asks for a fork…
“A fork?”
“Yes, a fork.”
They hand him a fork. He looks at it for a second, then proceeds stabbing himself all over his body with it. “For Holes In Your Boats!”
Love that one, but it’s much better told with gestures.