I just steal TVeblen’s Thin Mints.
One Uncle Toby’s fruit cereal bar (cinnamond/apple or apricot)
custard
Microwave
30 seconds
eat
You wish! Too late, sucker. Today I just discovered there was one neglected package left, lurking behind the ice cube trays and four freezer bags of red beans and rice.
The Thin Mints are gone, sucker.
They were Dinner. It’s too blasted hot and humid around here.
And you fell right into my diabolical clutches, as my plan all along was to distract you with the Thin Mints and steal the red beans and rice!
Goddamnit. Now I really want some Thin Mints.
it’s not a 30-seconds-type simple recipe, but it’s made with things tha tpoele usually have lying around and it’s pretty hard to screw up. Also, there are lots of things you can do to modify it.
1 1/2 c flour
1/2 c sugar
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t salt
1/2 c oil
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tbsp maple syrup
1 egg (or equivalent: 2 tbsp water + 1 tbsp oil + 2 tsp baking powder) (or equivalent if you bake without eggs regularly, 1 1/2 tsp ener-g egg replacer + 1 tbsp warm water)
cinnamon and sugar to coat
preheat oven to 375
mix up the dry ingredients, mix up the wet ingredients, mix them together. you should have a nice big dough ball that sticks together. make cookie-sized flat balls (these won’t spread out) and roll them in the cinnamon/sugar mixture. bake for about 7-9 minutes.
variations:
chocolate:
instead of maple syrup, use chocolate syrup. change the flour to 1 1/4 c and add 1/4 c cocoa powder, hot chocolate mix, or fancy mocha coffee mix. roll in powdered sugar instead of cinnamon sugar. these are more likely to spread out, but they don’t always.
c.chip banana
instead of an egg, use either 1 small very very ripe banana or 1/2 large very ripe banana, mashed. Use chocolate syrup instead of maple, and mix in some chocolate chips. don’t roll in anything.
Low-fat ice-cream sandwiches:
Get a package of cinnamon graham crackers and a large tub of fat-free cool whip. Scoop a heaping tablespoon in between two cracker pieces, wrap or carefully arrange in a plastic container, and freeze. In about an hour or so, you can steal one from the freezer. They taste just like ice-cream sandwiches.
So yummy!!
Also, prepare a white cake and bake it. Use a package of your favorite flavor of gelatin and mix half the amount of water as indicated on the directions. Take a fork and poke holes on the top of cooled cake and gently pour gelatin mix over top. Refridgerate for about a half hour or so then cover with cool whip and serve!
I have heard that you can prepare any cake mix with soda instead of the water. Like you can use cherry cola with chocolate cake or try yellow cake with orange soda. I’ve never tried it though, so you’re on your own on this.
I like frozen graham cracker crusts. Take one package (not the whole box, just a little plastic-wrapped inner package) of graham crackers and crush them (I put them in a sturdy ziploc bag and bash them with a rolling pin). Melt most or all of a stick of butter. Mix 1/4 cup sugar and about a teaspoon of cinnamon in with the cracker crumbs, then stir in the melted butter. Press into a pie tin and stick in the freezer for at least a half-hour. Then, break into chunks and eat!
To make this presentable enough for casual company, do the above and put the crust chunks in a bowl. In a second bowl, put Cool Whip or other whipped topping. In a third bowl, put assorted berries that have had sugar sprinkled over them. Then let everyone assemble their own deconstructed pie-type dessert. 
YUM!
Danone’s La Creme vanilla yogurt is amazing stuff. It is so delicious. I eat it on top of any fruit (best with fresh peaches). It doesn’t taste like yogurt at all, really.
Twist open oreo (chocolate creme, of course), roast marshmallow over stove, reassemble oreo with marshmallow inside, eat. Mmmm…
Well, you take a trillion tons of sand, and… oh, dessert. Never mind!
One Oreo cookie crust
1 box of prepared instant Jello pudding
Dump the pudding into the crust and chill for an hour.
Spread Cool Whip over the top.
Eat.
Yummy.
Frozen berries+maple syrup. Add a little yogurt or cream if you have it.
Bonus: if you eat blueberries like this, your teeth will turn blue for a while, and you can freak out your mate. 
Butter and sugar sandwich.
Custard!
Eggs
Sugar
Milk
Mix the egg and sugar until thick and creamy. Heat the milk until just below boiling. Mix the milk slowly into the egg/sugar mix (not t’other way, else you’ll end up with scrambly eggs in milk) then put back on the stove and stir until thick. Add vanilla, chocolate, whatever you want for flavour. Tasty, warm.
Simplest?
…
Really?
…
hm.
Well what ya do is, ya get the hot chocolate powder packet…and pour into mouth. The hardest bit is getting off the couch methinks.
Take one Keebler mini pie-crust, and scoop in one pudding cup. Instant chocolate pie!
1 Spoonfull Chunky Peanut Butter, dusted with cinnamon sugar!
or, a bit more complex:
Brownie Pie
1 Frozen pie crust, thawed
1 package Brownie Mix, prepared as per instructions
Pour Brownie batter into pie crust, bake in oven using the Brownies’ time & temperature. Serve a la mode.
It might sound weird, but: get yourself some chocolate frosting and some vanilla wafers, and make little sandwiches. Delicious, I tell you!
Here’s one we’ve done a lot lately: boil 2/3 of a cup of water. When it boils, add in a small packet of sugar-free Jell-O, flavor of your choice. Stir to dissolve. Add about 2 cups of ice cubes, and stir, pausing occasionally for a second or two to let it set up some (but not all the way). Remove what’s left of the ice cubes with a slotted spoon. Fold in a small tub of Cool Whip. When it’s folded, pour into a graham cracker crust and chill to set. My favorite so far has been Strawberry Kiwi, and my wife’s is Lime.
Greek yoghurt with grapes, flaked almond and pine honey.
Simple ice cream topping:
A few spoonfuls of peanut butter microwaved veeeery carefully (10 or 20 seconds at a time, stir stir, repeat) until it is the right consistency to be drizzled over ice cream. Like hot fudge. Only peanut butter. If you want to go fancy, make little zigzags over your ice cream, then do contrasting zigzags of Hersheys, then whipped topping and/or a cherry, maybe some chopped nuts or sprinkles. Sundae!
If you can handle cooking, I came up with a great way to use up leftover tortillas once. Butter both sides of two tortillas. Sprinkle a lot of cinnamon and sugar on one side of one, then sandwich it with the other. Cook it like a grilled cheese sandwich. Cover it for a while so the sugar melts, but be careful not to burn it. If you do it right, the tortillas will puff up like chapatis.