This happens to us all the time, too, and it drives us crazy, too. There are 10 people in the whole theatre, and you have to sit close enough to me that I can smell your perfume and hear your crunching? Seriously? GET OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE (which expands to about five rows and 10 seats when the theatre is empty).
I love that story. 
I remember a story my best friend told me. He went with one of his friends (whom I also know and who has a slight stutter) and this guy’s love interest (who picked the movie) to watch Titanic. After having suffered through about two hours of this boring crap, he finally shouted: “N-n-nu g-g-geh’ endlich unter , du Sau!”, which translates to something like: “N-n-now f-f-finally go under, you motherfucker!”.
It was the biggest laugh of the show (at least for the male part of the audience).
The kind that says “bad motherfucker” on it.
Sit off to the side instead of at the center, and you’ll probably get less of this.
If you don’t want to do that… then you may just have learned why people do this.
No, that’s *Shaft. *
Mind sez “this is a mid level petty Bureaucrat, the kind who can make things very annoying for you if your business has many code violations”
I would have been pretty pissed off at your friend, and I’m a dude.
I assumed it was a Regal Crown Club card.
I assumed it said Grim Reaper.
That’s the thing - we don’t sit in the sweet spot - I think people sit near us because they’re sheep, and they figure if we’ve picked that spot, it must be a good one. No, it isn’t - we’re trying to get away from the popular area where everyone wants to sit!
Well there’s a difference between the middle of the theater being the optimal viewing area and most people wanting to sit there, and the one person who comes into an empty theater and sits directly in front of or next to you. Most people will end up being located nearest the center, they will usually however put space between themselves and strangers. It’s just weird to have someone come and sit right next to you or directly in front of/behind you. One or two seats in either direction is not going to have any effect on how they see the screen.
Yeah, I was kinda curious how long the relationship lasted after that. I admit I probably would have laughed along with the rest of the crowd, but seriously - was that trip really necessary?
And this is coming from a fellow who would willingly do a Homer Simpson “Aaaah! D’OHH!” impression to accompany the fellow who did a faceplant off the turbine.
I and my now ex-wife were watching Legends of the Fall at the 2nd run theater. Being it was a second run theater, we never really expected a LOT of maturity from the audience.
A small gaggle of teen girls came in and sat down behind us. No big deal.
As one of the sex scenes played out, Brad rolled his lover over to get some “from behind” action going. Good for him!
The girls had been quietly giggling the whole time, but once she rolled over, one girl apparently didn’t quite grok what was going on, because she said “Oh, no thanks, Captain Poop-Dick”.
I cracked up.
I’m sorry, I really don’t know (or don’t remember, it’s been a while since Titanic first ran in theaters), but I guess the relationship went downhill from then on. It surely wasn’t a stunt he could make a positive impression on that girl with.
But if at all possible - and it’s at least 9 months so far - I will not see a movie in the Loews theater in Homestead. I will go out of my way and pay a little more to avoid it and instead go to the Southside Works. Why? Because too many movies have been ruined by loud black women talking. Full on volume. Never the men - half the time their partners shush them! - and never their kids. If there’s a group of women, they generally arrive late. People can say it’s a stereotype, I don’t care. It’s not if you’ve lived through it time and time again.
Gladiator
Russell Crow turns his back on the emperor who then demands to know his name. Russell turns and delivers his speach "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. " The guy behind me yells heck ya!!!
Spiderman 3
Spidey pushs Mary Jane, guy in the back of the theater yells oh you done messed up now!
Husband went to see “The Exorcist 3” in the theatre and the scene in the hospital hallway - those of you that have seen it will know what I mean - caused a strong reaction in a patron in the front row.
Apparently the man was quite high, or drunk, or both and stood up, turned toward the crowd and screamed for a good fifteen seconds or so.
Then he sat back down and watched the rest of the movie.
I was on a date with a very sweet guy. We were not compatible for one big reason: I suffer from partial hearing loss and he had a permanent vocal chord injury, so I could never hear a damn thing he said. We struggled through a dinner at Bennigans where he was forced to repeat himself 3 or 4 times every time he said something and afterwards we decided to go see Final Destination 3. At one point in the movie a woman is killed by a nail gun that falls and shoots about 50 nails into her head and he very loudly proclaimed, “That woman got hit with a clip of nails!” I looked at him and said, “I don’t think nails come in clips” before we got shushed by the people behind us.
Afterwards neither of us called the other one again. We both knew that given our issues we would never be able to make it as a couple. I will never forget him though because it is the only date I’ve ever been on where I only fully understood one sentence the whole night.
I’d link to my kicking-of-seat experience but I have no idea where the post is.
When I went to see the re-issued Star Wars, a kid behind me was impressing his friends by yelping in faux surprise every few seconds, making wookie noises every time Chewbacca appeared on the screen, and crumpling what sounded like a ream of paper one sheet at a time. I wanted to hit him.