But…but…but…
you’ve signed up here at the SDMB and been posting for a while.
Aren’t you better yet?
Now, Qadgop, you should know that being an idiot isn’t a disease where you just get better. I mean, really, it’s not like being turned into a newt or something. Geez.
Sqube, sig away. Wow, between this and getting pitted, I feel like the Blue Fairy’s gonna come and turn me into a real Doper.
I think I’m just going to send her an email telling her that I accept her apology and hope she accepts the ones I offered her in December, and leave it at that for a while. If she’s mature enough and perceptive enough to realize that she’s got some real issues in the way she deals with people, then maybe I’ll think about giving this another chance. If not, well, it’s not really any skin off my ass.
I feel your pain, CCL. I, too, have a cousin with whom I had so many enjoyable, even joyful times growing up. We understood each other and our places in the family pathology. She put the “fun” in dysfunctional for me. Unfortunately, she grew up with a distressing defense system and, try as I might, I cannot capture the old feeling of bonding with her.
Boy I miss her - never more than when I’m with her. I’m pretty much resigned to mourning that old relationship and making the best of what is possible today.
I hope you’re not betting on this, lady! CrazyCatLady, I love you and it’s a pleasure sharing a board with you, but it’s time to let this one go. I know it’ll hurt, but keeping this curious excuse for a friendship will hurt more. That is, unless you’re into being sniped at when you least expect it and shown somewhat less respect than pondscum. 
Enjoy the good memories, but end this friendship before the bad memories, pain, and resentment outnumber them.
Oh, and yes, I am better at giving this advice than taking it. You’re not the only “idiot with easily tripped guilt triggers” around here.
Good luck and take care,
CJ
My 2 cents - i would say this
And I would add the stuff you told **Seeker ** about how the crack about your marriage made you feel. It is often true folks express thoughts/feelings to strangers (and/or in writing) more clearly than they do verbally to loved ones. Even tho you hinted, flat-out said, pointedly told, joked, yelled etc. it probably isn’t a slam dunk she understands exactly what she did wrong… it may be why you got the apology you did.
I think you do care very much - at least as far as her Mom’s feelings, peace in the family, the angonizing yoyu are doing etc. all seem to point to that. I hope you can get it worked out.
Siege, honey, at this point I wouldn’t bet a stick of gum on her acting in a mature manner. She pretty much still deals with stuff they way she did when we were fourteen. Something pretty minor happens, she screams “I hate you, I hate you!”, and sulks in her room for a while before appearing and acting as though nothing had happened. I found it pretty obnoxious when we were fourteen, but I really thought she’d outgrow it. Just goes to show you it doesn’t pay to think, I guess. At any rate, if I wanted to be friends with a teenager, I’d go find a teenager.
Jimmmy, I think a lot of the problem is that I don’t see why someone who’s nearly 30 years old would need to be told why it’s a problem to call somebody a stupid, petty, bitter, childish bitch. Those are insults in pretty much anybody’s book, and like most people she learned in childhood that name-calling isn’t nice and requires an apology. She KNOWS exactly what she did, and how she would feel if somebody did or said this stuff to her (like I said, if I’d sent her something to her maiden name, my monitor would still be smoking from the response, and ditto for any of the other stuff). She knows, she just doesn’t give a shit. It’s okay that she said all that stuff, 'cause she was mad. Any apologies on that score will be “I’m sorry I lost my temper over you acting like a petty, bitter, childish bitch.” It’s just the same shit on a different day. Like I said, been here and done this way too many times.
I sent her an email last night, saying that I accepted her apology (and didn’t even add “for what it’s worth”, I’m so proud of my self-restraint), and that I hoped she accepted the ones I offered her in December. No response yet, and I’m hoping that’s just because she hasn’t read it yet. The longer it takes for her to respond, the more venom she’ll have had a chance to store up. If she actually has something pleasant or reasonable to say in response, I’ll be shocked. This is the woman who claimed we were sniping at each other after I’d apologized.