Did my demonstration class today on the Third Conditional. I have taught better classes. But then again I have taught worse ones too. I expect an offer Sunday or Monday.
Got back to the apartment and called my mother, as I do each Saturday afternoon. We chatted. She told me She called last week.
I have not talked to Her in five years. She has been the rock upon I have wrecked my life. And yet (and you guessed it) I suppose I will be calling her in a few hours. Like a moth to a flame.
It has been a heck of an emotional roller-coaster; the job, the parrot, now this.
I made a cottage industry on these boards a few years back of crying over a similiar situation. While at least now I have documentation of what a bad, bad move that was, I’d sure love to be in a position where I could give “**Scrappy **minus 4” some advice and he would take it.
Paul, I’m not a psychologist (not even of the armchair variety), but two things:
1. Your OP reads like you KNOW calling her isn’t a good idea, and you are either looking for support not to do it or validation if you do do it.
2. Remember that SHE initiated this contact rather than you. Who has the most to gain from this or lose from this? What sort of reception would you get if YOU had done the same re first contact? Seems she wants something, eh? Do you really think this phone call will leave you in a better position than you would have been if you didn’t make it?
You seem to be having trouble with the decision. Perhaps you can take a vote here. That would clinch it fast enough.
Or you could do a pros/cons type analysis. The cons are that she wrecked your life and is likely to do it again. The pros are. . . . .(you haven’t mentioned any). And of course, if the pros are that she was the best sex EVER or ever imaginable, then I’ll bet that the swing of the male vote will change substantially here. So perhaps you can think of why you would want to do something that you’ve only written about negatively here.
You don’t have to post it here. . . but inquiring minds want to know!
I’m not understanding something, though. Just because she called your Mom, why does that mean you have to call Her? If she had wanted to talk to you, wouldn’t she just have called you? Even if she’s not got your number, she could have gotten it from your mom.
If someone had caused me that much turmoil, I wouldn’t contact them. Unless it was a dire emergency.
Who is SHE? Your ex-wife? You’re a younger guy right? So I am assuming that she is much younger than her 89-year-old husband, am I correct? So why did she marry such an older guy? Curious minds want to know!
I’m glad you did it, Paul. I have horrible fears of certain things. Mostly getting fired. (No, really. I have an actual phobia about getting fired. I find it horribly funny that I have the fear, but it doesn’t stop the torment.)
The point of it is, on the bad days, when I just know I will be fired, as long as I know I have control over myself, and I walk myself through it… it’s not so bad as the antici…
pation. Even the time I was fired most recently wasn’t nearly as bad as the two crippling weeks that led up to it. (Fired due to political reasons and departments fighting rather than anything I did.)
Years ago, I lived in Panama. SHE was my landlady, I drove up to the farm once a month to pay my rent. If I had c ouple of beers I would spend they night. Often I would talk far into the night about local and world politics with Don H, her sixty-year-old common-law husband.
You know how your mind works so fast in an emergency? I woke up one night with a pair of lips on my private parts. I remember thinking “I hope that is not Don H.” It was not it was SHE.
We had a hot, violent affair. One day I expressed my concern about sleeping with Don H’s wife. She replied “That’s OK, he knows.”
Ever have a night of crazy sex and then walk out to the patio to have breakfast with her husband? It was… awkward.
SHE ran off with me to the US after the Invasion. Soon thereafter, and without marrying her, she returned to Don H. We have gotten together and broken it off several times since.
I describe SHE as my ex- becasue it is easier.
So all in all, a typical love affair. Hardly worth mentioning except it has shaped my life ever since.
Lemmee see. The husband was 60 when the affair started, and he is now 89. So the affair started 29 years ago, in approximately 1979?
She ran off with you during the invasion of Panama, which happened in 1989.
So you had an illicit relationship with her (assuming she didn’t leave Don H until the invasion) from 1979 to 1989?
And Don H put up with this woman running off with another man, coming back to him, then periodically reestablishing a relationship with you?
Even assuming she was, say, just 20 years old in 1979, she’s now pushing 50, so we are no longer talking about some thinking-with-the-wrong-head lust for some hottie.
And she still makes you go all queasy inside, huh?
Thank you for sharing a very private part of your life with us but it raises another question in my mind. Did you ever confirm to your own satisfaction that Don H was aware of and accepting of what you and She were sharing? Tell me to mind my own business if you wish; I know I’m being extremely nosy.
