She love me and her family has problem with me .

In My Humble Opinion
1

Let me tell you this painful story lol . well in the beginning we meet thought online, skype . I post my username to look for a friends to learn more about ASL (American Sign languages ) . and she added me . normally , hi what your name and how are you doing ? its how its started . and you know she is pretty , oh yeah she is pretty but Im not going to tell it scared that I will ruin our relationship , I only able to say you looks good , how do you feel today , but mostly we focused on learning sharing idea and learning . until one day its Thursdays night if im not wrong . she has some looks want to cry to tell something but she cant tell it , and I ask what going on ? are you okay ? she said fine im okay…. Even now I know what is happen , I can tell its abused or act by her ex emotionally mentally and physically almost all . maybe this is what the reason make both of us mad and has misunderstanding and being away for a year or more .
We keep in contact each month , asking how we doing , family and dogs and cat well 2011 may – November, from this time we only emailing until November 2011- October 2013 we start talking via skype again . she been single whole the time , maybe trauma of her past and its right .
Well then things goes smoothly even in doubt by someone from her side think im criminal , id thief , the sexual predator then willing to marry only for citizenship im mad . because I want to marry her for entire my life . not for citizenship let say she is illegals I will marry her … maybe our conversation too soon . but well we know we wont giving up on each other . while doing progress with embassy I will be there with 5 year visa and this October I will come because of business project exporting and importing coffee and cacao… what in my mind is focusing on business make more expanding, by paying taxes and having credibility in business I know I can access to be citizenship with 10 years , and im not kinda person want to have feeling im here because of you like you safe my life . no I don’t like debt lol .

So after a month we been talking, he become my friends one facebook . and then he dislike me because a women that share photo from a page call gym meme , there is photo where women doing squatting and push up . its sport motivations and joke … seem he has mentally disorder disliking me because I liking the photo which she share , but how can he be in marine with that much stupidity or ego ? I means overprotective but not being smart at all . then he tries take his ipad , and she bought ipad mini , then he takes internet off , printer “ those things for printing paper “ cellular phone almost .
somehow we able to video call and chat when she has free Wi-Fi outside sending me voice recording , damn her voice … so beautiful … trust me . I love her voice so much very very much . she like to sing me to sleep . and be with me until we sleep , wait sound beautiful oh . you don’t know she did make me stressed , feeling scared , feeling alone . what I means we do have beautiful and worse moment . but we survive always … maybe I lost my faith or my confidence on me .
then here the issues begin every time, they keep yelling at her , they keep treating her bad when she chosen me . bulling her over her decision ? . really doesn’t in marine teach how to love human right ? she always remain silence and I do tell a good point I hope so , if you keep being like this you will be under your brother for entire of your life and no one can help you out from this zone unless you want to stand for yourself . and then she did but the crappy treatment always happen to her . isn’t that brothers are cowards ? doesn’t want to talk about it to me , I even asking I want and will to talk with them but they doesn’t want to know me or talk with me ? what the hell is wrong with me ? that make they are so scared . im not a magician or even musician . then he did say something that sound make sense for her , which is im not there and I cant drive her around , and she do take long time waiting for bus pick up and dropping . once has problem with perverted people and bus driver , doesn’t he understand or able to think this far could be happen ? I means he think im a bad person , criminal , etc . but let her sister alone outside . rather than be brave to say I will be with you … to much ego brothers .

in this situation , I love her so much , I want her be happy with her family too but in the other hands she do say need me more . do you understand this situation ? when a women came across of theirs family need someone else ? so its kinda hard to let go and to move on . I wish if I die I can be her angels side .
yeah we never met , sound silly how its turn out to be this kinda love feeling , I able to understand her emotionally and physiology situation . almost all right same as her .

this situation keep repeating , what must I do ?
if I leave her alone . she will be really down . and I don’t want that happen . too beautiful to cried because her stupid brothers .

so yeah what I must do . well she is 26 and me too.

2

“Let me tell you about this painful story lol”

Stopped there. Sorry bud.

3

Google translate fail?

4

Remember the Seinfeld episode with Mr Pitt squinting at the picture to see the spaceships? This OP is like a written version of that picture. I feel like if I just squint hard enough, I can juuuuusssstt abooooouuuutttt make out what he is saying. Almost.

5

Yeah, I just have no idea how to help.

6

I suspect English is not the OPs primary language.

7

October is almost here. Then you’ll be together, if I followed that. What are you asking beyond that?

Suggest you try again with a few short lines.

8

Reminds me a bit of the first time I tried reading Ulysses. Sort of.

9

Okay, enough with the snarky replies, let’s actually try to talk about the OP if you’re going to respond.

10

I’ll give it a go:

Op wanted to learn ASL and meets a pretty girl via Skype.
She has been traumatized in the past, perhaps an ex.

Somewhere along the line he has fallen madly in love and is wanting a long term relationship.
He states he has a Visa independent of her, as he will be here importing coffee and cacao beans.
Her family thinks otherwise. They see him as a person intent on using her. This is especially true of one brother (a marine). This brother friend him on Facebook and was offended by a picture the OP posted. Thus began the troubles again with the family not trusting his intentions.
Brother says his sister has had issues in the past with perverts. OP wants to know why they don’t belive his noble intentions.

Other factoids:
She apparently does not drive.
OP is neither a magician nor a musician.
She is far too beautiful to have her face sullied by tears caused by said brother.
They have never met in person.
OP has a mad burning love equal to those found in romance novels: I’m picturing wind blowing through his hair as he writes this, pausing every now and then to stare off into the cold void of his future without her (one solitary tear in right eye).

Both are 26

11

My response to the OP:

You are both adults. If she is coming from a conservative, traditional family background (perhaps one recent to America), nothing you say or do until you court her “properly” will change the situation. By properly, that means by traditional means of their culture.

If she is not, you have to ask yourself why a 26 year old woman is allowing herself to be treated like a young girl. If she has emotional issues, then she needs counseling.

Either way, you will more than likely never be rid of her aLways putting her family before you. You will more than likely have to deal with family drama after family drama.

All this aside, I think you are being extremely foolish to go on like this when you have never physically seen her. You could go on and on about your dying love, perhaps even convincing her family you are ok… Just to meet her and feel nothing. That maybe there is a certain aspect of her you simply are turned off by. Then what are you going to do?

12

Well, surely it goes both ways? The OP is exceedingly difficult to understand, and has not returned to respond or clarify anything.

Anyhow, after careful reading, I gleaned what Bad News Baboon did. The OP is in love with someone he has communicated with online on and off since 2011, but has never actually met. She has a brother, or brothers, who are marines. Or something. They have only had Facebook communication. Brother/s are overprotective of their sister, or something, who has possibly been abused somehow, or something.

The sister is 26 and apparently not independent. The OP will be in the woman’s country on an extended work visa next month. He is apparently wondering how to proceed. The user name “Guardian” is telling, maybe.

Recipe for disappointment, I’m thinking. Is Guardian looking for an equal human being and partner, or a romantic cause?

13

This. You will never win them over & will always be last on her important people list. Dump that dead weight… and instead of mourning a loss, marvel at your fuel economy.

In Addition…

Should she “suddenly” request money for airfare or legal fees via Moneygram or Western Union, you’re being scammed.

14

Presuming the OP is in the same general geographic area as the woman in question, I don’t think there’d be much harm or risk in asking her to meet him for a cup of coffee somewhere. Maybe even lunch. I think lunches are safer than dinners because going out for dinner can become more open ended.

And some non-Americans really don’t understand how big the USA is, let alone how big some states are. San Diego and Modesto are both in California, but I’d think long and hard before agreeing to drive from SD to M to meet someone for a cuppa. And I do like my coffee, too.

15

Chicks are like coffee shops… one on every corner.

<ducks and runs…> :stuck_out_tongue:

16

That is right English is not my primary languages . sorry for make some of you being confused . and thanks for the replies

what that does OP stand for ?

yeah you are right .

is that maybe we know too much in this case and have too much feeling for each others ?
because possibility that we would not being together after meet .is if she doesnt like my body smells … we do video call every time . when i have time we spent a night talk until morning or sometimes sharing screen to watch movies .

what i know , she was spoiled by her family . never learn to be independent , living on her own . mostly a person after 20 or 23 they get a job find a flat or motel or rent a house to stay . but she still with family , and even never go outside of the states . how to fix this ?

she do putting me first from her brothers , one hate me because she meet me online and im looks like criminal in his eyes .

and the marines hate me because i like some pics that my friends sharing .

17

Generally, people are skeptical about on-line relationships their sisters or daughters get into. There are a lot of creepy unsafe characters out there, and brothers and fathers can be very protective of their sisters and daughters. They’ve known her longer than you have. They know things about her that you don’t. They know her vulnerabilities. They have every right to be protective.

She’s got to stand up as an adult, if she wants to. You can’t make her do that. Sounds like she’s from the US and you are not. Also it’s not uncommon for many Americans to have never left the US.

18

OP means Original Poster, the person who started the thread. In this case, that’s you. :slight_smile:

19

You don’t. Get the idea out of your head that you are her knight in shining armor, here to save her. If you think you are, after the glow wears off, you’ll end up loathing her codependancy on you.

Right now, your posts are coming off as if you are completely infatuated and thus blind to the reality. Stop making excuses for her. Either she is seriously immature, has issues that only a therapist can help, or maybe she’s not as into you as you hope.

20

People can also be whackjobs who still think their adult daughter is a child that needs to be protected, they can have a very warped view of the real world.

My advice to the OP would be to just wait until you’re physically in the USA and then meet her away from her family, if she won’t make even the most nominal effort to meet you I’d say that is a bad sign there. If she wants you to come meet her where she lives with her family that is also a bad sign, and if you do it anyway be prepared to get a hotel room because it could turn bad.