I am such a warlock magician with 1000 of hours of penetrating intimate audience performances raining unholy manna down like an A-10 Warthog on thousands of people, that I am fully confident in my white tigerblood school of acting engagement and projection…
… oh, and violence. Don’t forget the violent win. Charlie has flaming fists… I have fists of Thunder. I warn you, with magic I could cut my own head off and put it in a box with the proper cutting closet.
I’ve found myself working the phrase “Vatican assassin warlock” into conversation. Apparently whatever Charlie has is contagious. 
Oh bullshit. Comedic timing is a gift. Any jackass can read a line from a paid writer. Charlie Sheen is not a writer and can’t string 2 coherent sentences together in real life. He would be hooked off the stage if he had to perform live. He’s silver spooned Hollywood git who would not be in front of a camera if not for his father. I can go into any comedy venue and pull a professional comic out that is leagues above Charlie Sheen’s talent. I’m talking about comedy that makes people laugh so hard it’s painful. His show was never that funny. He gets the big bucks because he’s got a nationwide audience and he has that audience because he had a famous Hollywood father who opened a very exclusive door for him.
You know dam well that the only other way to get through that door is to get a few minutes on a show like the Tonight Show. Sheen couldn’t do what a real comedian does.
He’s a screen actor, not a standup. I’m sure he’d do poorly at Wimbledon, too, but that isn’t his job.
Well, when you really delve for essence, when you really break it down, Charlie is only Jon and the rest of the cast’s straightman, just as “Bitchin’ Charlie” acted it. Straightmen are a dime a dozen… he was always the ironically straight foil…
He started in his daddy’s movie and did a bunch of bit parts. His only other sitcom was Spin City which he dragged down. If he’s worth 1.8 million because of his greatness why didn’t he make that show a success. It was already an established winner.
There are plenty of actors who could step into his current sitcom and make it their own. It has a solid cast of established characters and only needs another straightman. In his mind he’s a 15 on a scale of 10 when in reality he’s really a 5 or 6. He’s overpriced and under talented which makes him expendable.
I thought the straight man was worth more. Abbott and Costello, for instance; I thought Costello was seen as the easily-replaced partner.
Well, that’s kind of it… isn’t it? Once you are establsihed as Abbott and Costello in the annals. Well, that kind of #Winning, that is irreplaceable, that is indivisible… unlike that divisive slavefucker Jefferson, Abbott would go on in an amicable split… just look at Jerry Lewis. and… sheen a’int no Lewis.
***Parody of Sheen, not to be taken literally. No slaves were actually fucked in this enactment.
That kind of sticks in my craw and reveals Charlie for what he is is… I’ll bet he is a secret hypocrite fucker… I have never seen him publically with anything less than an ostensibly white anglo-saxon woman as arm candy. The shame of a half Carlos with many hidden dozens of philandered ethnicities. Carlos is still in the closet.
This coming from a great attraction to beautiful women of all colors.
“I’m tired of being told you can’t talk about that. Bullshit. It’s nothing this side of deplorable that Carlos Victorio (Winner) Sheen – yeah that’s his real name, mistook this assassin rockstar for his exit strategy. I embarrassed him in front of his children by healing at a pace that his brain can’t process. Last time I checked, Carlos, I’ve spent the last decade turning your spic silver smithy into gold burritos. And this charlietan chose not to do his job, which is to act. Clearly someone who believes he’s above the law. You’ve been warned, dude, I done brought it…”
Charlie come back we miss [del]the money[/del] you!