So you’re a Shock Jock? Or maybe you’re wearing one?
Ah, good-looking next-door neighbor, then?
Best. Thread. Ever.
They torture your genitals and they pay you?
Excuse me-I’ve got to place a call to Mistress to see about a rebate.
And you’re sure you’re not auditioning for this band?
I know, right???
Ah, you’re on to me.
I should definitely wear one next time.
Good one!
In the previous thread there was some discussion about my unwashed status; I see it’s, um, come up again. I hasten to repeat that I am more unwashed in spirit than in body. I showered last month, after all.
Interesting questions, Niply. The time duration is 15 minutes; the current is applied in five separate places for three minutes each. Two of the spots are on the base of the penis, and the other three are on certain specified locations on the shaft itself. The order is prescribed also, but I’m not sure what it is. There is no scanning. Also, no electrodes are attached: there is a sonogram-style wand, for want of a better word (I was going to say shaft, but maybe I won’t), which is then applied to the appropriate area for the appropriate amount of time, then shifted. I don’t know the exact voltage or current levels, but can find out easily enough.
So I did have my first session–guess they call it a treatment. Straightforward enough, if you exclude the completely bizarre nature of the study. I arrived and met the PA who was going to be applying the shockwaves. She ushered me into the room with the machine, which was a bit reminiscent of R2D2 only with fewer flashing lights and less mobility, also a little smaller. Though big enough for all practical purposes. Of course I immediately realized that I was in the machine’s room (IT NEEDS A ROOM OF ITS OWN OMG). “Drop your pants and underwear,” the PA said, leaving the room to check on a few things, “and hop up on the exam table, lie down on your back, and cover yourself with this sheet of paper.” Well, all right, it wasn’t exactly a sheet of paper, for one thing it was a bit bigger, but it was substantially less than a standard issue hospital gown.
The PA then came back into the room, attached a large sonogram-style head to the sonogram-style shaft-I-mean-wand, and applied some gel to the appliance. “This is yours,” she said conversationally. “Everyone in the study uses the same machine, but you all get your own heads.” [She said head, yuk yuk.] I found that surprisingly comforting. “The machine will make a loud noise,” she explained, and reached under the sheet of paper to apply some gel to my penis. “Don’t be alarmed by the noise.” She turned the switch and the noise began: a beep, beep, beep which was annoying but certainly not alarming. Then she placed the device on my device and we were underway.
The procedure didn’t hurt. Neither did I find it erotic. The PA wore gloves and touched my dick as little as possible; the device was not emitting any obvious shock waves. To tell the truth, it didn’t feel like much of anything. I found myself kind of reluctant to look down at what was going on (I wound up half-sitting half-lying), though I did check it out now and then.
The PA and I chatted throughout the treatment, which sounds weirder than it actually was. Since I’ll be doing this 12 times (more if I turn out to be on the placebo) and she’s the designated penis shocker for this study, it seemed reasonable to establish a friendly relationship at the start. Talk about power, though–there I was lying there mostly naked and she was…seriously armed. Actually, I suspect it was easier to talk than to lie there in silence and pretend nothing was going on. They do have a boom box, so if I want to listen to the radio that’s a possibility. I considered reading but wasn’t sure that was a good plan. (Especially not if the book I chose was “The Joy of Sex.”)
Eventually we were done, she left the room, I cleaned myself up, got dressed, and went home. I’ll go back tomorrow and do it again–Very weird. But definitely an experience. And hopefully it’ll help!