Shooting beverages out of one's nose

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Is this phenomenon as widespread as it appears to be? Every so often in a post, someone will declare that a particularly witty phrase or disgusting image from a prior post in the thread has caused him or her to actually expel whatever they happen to be drinking out of their nose. Occasionally, the poster will comment that their computer equipment has now become soiled or otherwise damage from this act, whether it be Coca-Cola dripping down the screen, or coffee oozing into the keyboard.

Now I ask you, is this rather disgusting and probably unhealthy act really as prevalent as it appears? If so, what can we do as concerned citizens to help these unfortunate people to halt this alarming trend? Perhaps a public awareness campaign is in order regarding the dangers of simultaneous consuming and reading. How about Swallow first! for a slogan? Or maybe Snarfing isn’t cool. Don’t imbibe on boards. …Okay, so those particular ones sucked. I’m sure someone out there can do better.

This could also benefit those who merely spew their beverages out of their mouth onto their workstations, as well.

I’m just looking out for my fellow Dopers.

2

usualy, i use it to express extreme laughing, (hahahahahahahahahahahahaha just doesn’t look as good) i have only actualy done it once, and it just dribbled down my chin. (oddly enough, i didn’t post it that time)

eggo

My Web Page:SMITE WARNING it may offend you.

3

How about this for a slogan:

“Coke should only go in your nose, not out.”

4

Thanks Arnold – now I’ve got Sprite all over my keyboard.

In the interests of science – 80% expelled from mouth, 19% from nose, 1% from tear ducts, trace amounts from sweat glands, other unspecified openings.

“I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, until I realized who was telling me that.”
Emo Phillips

5

I have, in the past, had liquid beverages exit my oral cavity via my nasal cavity. Laughter has been the cause in some instances, choking the cause in other instances. The time with the milk wasn’t so bad. The time with the dark beer wasn’t so good. And we won’t even talk about the time with the straight shots of Jack Daniels out of the bottle (I’m sure Demo remembers, though). But I have never soiled my desktop doing it. I think people use it as more of a figure of speech than an actual testimonial. But I do know where you’re coming from. I often read the posts that you refer to and think, “God, what a bunch of weirdos. They can’t even drink and read at the same time.” Then again, who the hell am I to pass judgement on the weirdos around this place.

I’d like to cut your head off so I can weigh it. What do you say?

6

It sounds better than “your post made me shoot half-chewed gummi bear bits out my nose.” :wink:
– Sylence

“Excuse me, are you reading Torah and eating crayons?”

7

I just had to dig this up, because I’ve noticed that this alarming trend seems to be on the rise lately. Witness:

June 11th, Billy_da_PT, in http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=27079

::explosively projecting drink through nostrils::
Jesus, Byz, warn somebody before posting anything that funny!

This seems typical of the problem. The victim, casually drinking their favorite beverage, is caught unaware by a fellow Doper who may not realize the dangerous destructive power of their own sense of humor.

Another sad case:

June 26th, Missy2U, in http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28753

Thanks Drain. ::Muttering to self while wiping up water that was just spit at the monitor while ROFLMAO::

Note the sarcasm, the concern over the monitor. What can be done about this terrible epidemic? Is it the fault of the witty posters, or do people need to be taught that they should avert their reading eyes when going for a sip?

This is not just a rookie mistake, people! Even vets are not immune:

June 27th, Kellibelli, in http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28947

me an escort? ::splort:: oops, I spit my tea on the keyboard!

Clearly if someone so experienced in the art and science of message boards can fall victim to this dastardly circumstance, cannot we all? Luckily, awareness of this menace is spreading:

June 28th, Connor, in http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29119

BTW, ResevoirDogs, if I had been drinking something at the time I read your dolphin post, it would now be all over the screen.

We might infer that Connor has experienced this horror before. How many cases go unreported each year? Note the tone of certainty here. Not that it “might be all over the screen,” but rather that it “would”. Are we so helpless against this threat?

Some posters have even begun that crucial step of identifying those individuals most responsible for these terrible accidents:

June 27th, Myster Ecks, in http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28590

Be very wary of pepperlandgirl, Anthracite. She’s been known to make completely innocent people shoot carbonated beverages out their nose. And does she come over and help clean the keyboard afterwards? Noooooo.

So, is this just the work of a few callous individuals, out to destroy computer hardware piece by piece? If so, to what end? Can these people be stopped?

Before we pull down our pitchforks and torches to remove these monsters from our community, might we consider that this practice of expelling beverages unnaturally is something people actually enjoy? As hard to believe at that seems, look at this:

June 26th, Esprix, in http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28761

Gentlemen, I salute each and every one of you. I haven’t snarfed up iced tea all over my keyboard in quite some time, and I thank you all for it.

What’s this? Another element of a, shall we say, alternative lifestyle? Can it be that this potentially deadly event is savored by certain individuals?

Regardless of where you stand, one thing is clear. More awareness needs to be spread. Snarfing studies need to be funded. Paper towels need to be kept nearby.

More news to come as it develops.

8

I think that the single most painful beverage I have ever had pass through my nasal cavity while laughing has got to be Barq’s Rootbeer. While Barq’s is quite a tasty little drink, it’s slogan “Barq’s Has Bite!” becomes horribly true when the liquid is exiting your nose at high speeds due to fits of hilarity. It hurts, believe me.

9

Clearly these poor souls do not suffer from allergies or other nasal woes from which booger dams can develop.

Thus, the question becomes: who spends more valuable posting time away from the keyboard? Those who must clean up after such an explosive event or those who have to scour pockets and/or purses for kleenex when breathing is no longer possible? And what about those who suscumb to the sleep-inducing effects of antihistamines?

Deep issues (or tissues), indeed. Thank you Reservoir Dog!
(Pers. obs.: I saw Kevin Gann eject a goodly quantity of milk through his nose in the third grade. Looked like two straws stuck up his nose for several seconds. I cannot wipe that image from my mind, try as I might.)

10

This just in…

Apparently, this disturbing trend is not only attacking modern technology. Even older forms of communication, once considered safe from this menace, are at risk.

June 28th

struuter, in http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29033

Oh Graeme…I know it doesn’t make any difference to you, but I just ruined some very important papers on my desk by splorting up coffee all over them. I don’t really know how I’ll explain it… God, I’m gonna get my butt kicked…

More to come…

11

Never actually done it at the keyboard, but I made my mother-in-law shoot tea through her nose. The best part is that it happened at the Christmas Dinner Table a couple of years ago. She was in the process of taking a drink and actually got most of it back in the glass. Having seen that, I can now die a happy man.

The worst is when you, uh, how can I say this, yawn in technicolor and half of it comes through your nose. Not only does it hurt, you smell it for hours afterwards

12

I, for one, am very glad I put my glass of water down before opening this thread.

ROTFLMAO!!

chrisbar

13

Cherry soda was a particularly unpleasant experience. I never want to smell cherry soda again. And the carbonation was not kind to my nasal passages.

Anyone see South Park last night? Right on topic!