Personal insults will not be tolerated in this forum.
Ya know, airdisc . . . every now and then this homophobic crap really gets to me . . . it’s insulting. Don’t make me have to move this to the Pit.
Cajun Man - SDMB Moderator
There is also the option of the HPS (homosexual protection society) and they never put a healthy one down.
I’m so thrilled.
You ain’t just whistling Dixie! 
Somehow, that seems a little disappointing… unless I’m thinking of the wrong context here…
AIRDISC SIGHTING!
Whoa. Jest whoa there, folks.
I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when they’ve said something I could take offense at. And I think airdisc was actually asking a legitimate question, given his circumstances. I could have taken it to be offensive, but it could honestly have been meant as a sincere inquiry. I decided to read the thread to see what his follow-up would be. It was:
The first part of this pretty much proved to me that he wasn’t trolling, or for that matter homophobic. I’m certainly willing to give him a chance; after all, it’s the people who don’t know about gay people, who haven’t made their minds up, who we most need supporting us.
The second part was in response to Lamia’s:
…which I thought was pretty rude. Sure, airdisc’s response was another escalation, but he’s pretty new around here. And he’s been warned.
What I’m trying to say is, give airdisc a chance, at least. I think that taking offense at what he’s said in this thread is pointless, and takes a degree of oversensitivity.
The last thing I think we need is to have people afraid to ask questions about gay people; even if the questions are somewhat offensive, the more people know about us, the better off we are. Getting immediately defensive at any perceived offense is, IMHO, no pun intended, fruitless.
Well said, MrVisible. Throughout my openly gay life, I’ve come across people who didn’t understand, people who would ask questions, people who didn’t like the fact that I was gay but accepted me nonetheless because of the person I am.
I was openly gay in high school in the late 80s, which was less common than the brave young queers who are coming out at younger ages now. I also had a boyfriend. I was also very visible, producing musicals at my school, one of which I wrote, and my boyfriend was cast in (directed by a lesbian, to boot). We made no secret that we were a couple, and I hope that one day, when people who knew us have a kid who comes out as gay or lesbian, they’ll think, “Hey, that’s OK, just like scott and Ryan. They were cool guys.”
I’m also out at work. I get questions sometimes from co-workers about the “gay life,” as it were. I answer them honestly. My ex-boss was a closeted bear who was convinced no one knew he was gay. He was wrong. It was the worst-kept secret at the company. I’ve been told by others that they have more respect for me for being out than they did for him for being closeted. My co-workers might not like what I have to tell them when they ask me questions, but at least I’m there, proud, honest, and true to myself.
All of this to say, even if you don’t like “us” or our respective, individual “lifestyles,” we have to keep being ourselves, answering questions, and being out. The software engineer down the hall may not like the fact that I’m gay, but at least he knows that I’m also a hard worker (when I actually work) and a good person.
I’ve done what I’ve done, and am doing what I do, for the countless generations of queers that will follow. I don’t want anyone to ever have to feel that fear again. Case closed.
- s.e.
MrVisible, I guess you and are the only ones that noticed Lamia was rude first. I don’t know about you other people, but I get defensive when I get unnecessarily insulted. Cut airdisc a break.
Lorie
I suppose you would have prefered it if I had, on behalf of all the homosexuals in the world, begged airdisc to please, please be friends with homosexuals. Bah. He posted asking for opinions, and he got mine – he should abandon homosexuals, because he is not good enough to associate with most homosexuals.
You have a right to your opinion, of course, Lamia. I believe the OP could easily be read as asking a legitimate question, and I choose to believe that that was airdisc’s intent.
When people are dealing with issues that they find uncomfortable, there is inevitably a certain amount of awkwardness. When I first started being around gay people, I made some major gaffes, just because I was unfamiliar with the culture and the people in it, and I was nervous. Fortunately, people were understanding and patient, and chalked these mistakes up to inexperience, rather than offensiveness.
I prefer to give airdisc the benefit of the doubt, especially as it takes some effort to read the OP as an insult. And I believe that we don’t have nearly enough information to conclude that he’s not worth our time; it’s basing an estimation of a person on one post. Which is just as bad, IMHO, as basing your estimation of all homosexuals on your experiences with just a few of them.
here are the facts:
- My father and my stepfather, both white, were alcoholics.
- My high school principal, a real jerk, was white.
- Every horrible boss I’ve ever had was white.
- Of the encounters with the police I’ve had, the really bad ones were with white cops.
- Every unsuccessful relationship I’ve been in was with a white woman.
- I’ve only been mugged by one black guy, and he wasn’t even armed. On the other hand, countless white people have ripped me off…and one white guy actually shot at me.
- The overwhelming majority of politicians I’ve despised were white.
- White people own McDonald’s.
- Most serial killers and child molesters are white.
- Hitler was white.
okay, okay, all kidding aside…
The point has already been made, but I wanted to throw in more evidence on the idea that there are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
My personal experience with gay people has been largely positive.
In college, several of my best friends were lesbians. One in particular, a “radical feminist dyke”(her terminology, not mine), was a roommate…we didn’t like each other at first, but we later became very close.
I’ve had some great friendships with gay men, as well. I especially enjoy being with a guy who doesn’t always talk about sports or do other standard macho posturing. Very refreshing.
When I was about 13, some guy in his 60’s tried to grope me. It was frightening and it really pissed me off. But here’s the thing: It never occurred to me that this was a “gay thing.” All I could think was “creepy dirty old man… how could he mess with a kid?”
It’s all in your perspective.
Love to All,
TN*hippie
Oh, and one more thing:
I’ve dabbled in bisexuality myself. It was experimental, and I decided it was not my cup of tea.
But it wasn’t terrible, either.
No regrets,
TN*hippie
Airdisc I noticed that there are 2 common elements in all of the situations you enumerated. The first is; homosexuals, the second is you. Perhaps the first is not the problem.
Well, except for that, y’know, molestation thing. That definitely wasn’t his problem. Flygirl, it would behoove you to be more careful of what you post.
matt_mcl …
I behoove you to reread my first post.
flygirl99…
Yes.
There was one common denominator in all my unsuccessful relationships:
Me.
I understand, Tn, but the problem was that flygirl was suggesting that in all of Airdisc’s situations, Airdisc was the problem. But Airdisc wasn’t the problem in the molestation case - the molester was. That’s what I meant. (Also, I don’t think “behoove” can take a lexical subject.)
I’m late to the party, but I want to chime in that I, like Lamia, felt the OP was condescending and borderline offensive. His subsequent posts have not changed my opinion.
We’re cool, matt.
Serenity,
TN*hippie