Should I contact this woman again?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Here’s my story. Ten years ago when I was studying in Ireland I meet a woman. We got along really well and dated for a bit. After I came back to the states we wrote for a couple of years. Not much but here and there, maybe two to four letters a year. A few years later she visited the states for a few months. We talked on the phone etc and meet once when she had the chance.

After she left however, I did not hear from her again. I wrote a few letters over the next couple of years then didn’t write for awhile. Over the last two to three years now I sent her one birthday card and one letter about a month ago. The last letter was to tell her that I would be coming to Ireland next week.

I’m guessing there are a few reasons why she hasn’t written.

  1. She’s not getting the letters at all. Possible but it was her parents address and I never got the letters back.

  2. She doesn’t have my address. Not really possible, even though I have moved 4 times in the last couple of years I always include my new address.

  3. She’s not intersted in knowing me at all. I’m guessing this is a real good possiblity, though kinda strange that she just stopped writting.

  4. She called my now ex-wife, who hated anything and everything about Ireland, and got an earful. Possible, but the ex never said anything and I think she would have.

I still have her parent’s phone number and address so I could call them. I have however, looked both her, and her parents up on the Irish phone books and found nothing on them. I also looked her up on-line and found nothing.

So should I try and look her up or do you think she wouldn’t like that?

2

Call the parents. Go from there, based on what you learn.

3

Sounds like the simplest explanation is that the parents moved away. Do you have the addresses of other friends and relatives, or any other way of contacting her?

4

I have zero knowledge of the parents. I meet her mother once, she was a school teacher and still teaching at the time.

She also has a very uncommon last name. I found a web page about her name, but no one knew the family at all. There was one letter from her father on the page from the early 80s, he said he was retired. Other then that, I have no info.

I don’t know any of her friends any more and never knew any relatives. I know she has a sister but don’t know her first name so I can’t even look her up!

5

Tough question; it could go either way. What was the tone of her last few letters or phone calls? Did you get a sense that she was drifting a bit? The fact that you never heard from her again right after a meeting may indicate that your visit proved to her that there’s just no spark left of any kind (friendly or romantic). Some people choose to just vanish instead of being honest about difficult things like that.