If you are concerned about the influence the music may have on him you might talk to him about the people behind the music.
From the Wikipedia article on Alice Cooper:
From the Wikipedia article on Ozzy Osbourne:
From the Wikipedia article on Dee Snider:
Showing him that the people behind the music can have normal, stable lives (mostly;)) and maintain their religious beliefs and moral standards despite what people feel the lyrics might intend could help him keep in mind that the music isn’t as serious as can seem sometimes.
Pointless arguing with a teenager about the “taste” of music. What they like now might be not what they like next week.
Liking a style of music also does not mean that someone likes what sometimes goes with it.
The more I was told Techno was bad for me, the more I went to raves. I was warned and also being told that all they do there is pop “e’s” LSD, getting stoned and other stuff… I should listen to some proper Rock music, where men are man…go figure… Never done drugs and don’t drink, listening to a different type of music also did not make me use them either… just look at Britney Spears, all her PG stuff and how dysfunctional is she?
Whatever he is listening to, you might not like it.
Making a big fuss about it, does not change it.
All I remember is, it pissed my mom off…years ago… btw, she’s listening now to some of the stuff, she cursed 20 years ago and calls it normal music now
I’m a guy, 39, and I got into hard rock and heavy metal when I was just a little older than your son (maybe 15). Didn’t get any grief about it from my parents, they knew what I was listening too. It’s just music, certainly didn’t cause me any harm at all (good grades, never used drugs, never got into fights, MS & BS, skilled IT worker).
I have a very open, warm relationship with my folks so it’s not like there were all kinds of taboo topics or stuff that I felt I had to hide from them because I was worried what they’d think or do. If that’s how you and your wife interact with your son he’ll be fine, he sounds like he’s got a pretty level head on his shoulders (Boy Scout, straight As…not your typical stoner!).
Here’s a thought: GH3 has a Slayer song (Raining Blood…it’s just a really fast guitar instrumental). GHWT has some Ozzy (Crazy Train for one). I’m sure there is some downloadable content for RB2 by some of those groups. Play it with your kid. Even if it’s not your favorite you’ll get cool points for doing it. I wouldn’t tell him “that music sucks but listen to what you want” - I think that’s kind of offputting to a 13 year old. If you don’t like it you can just say “It’s not my thing”.
Remember, Ozzy is nearly a senior citizen now (he’s coming up on 62) and GWB had him as a guest at the White House. Not a big threat to the nation’s morals. His music is generally either anti-establishment stuff (a lot of British hard rock/heavy metal from the 60s and 70s was) or sort of comic-book supernatural/mystical themed.
I just wanted to say kudos to all these good parents out here. It’s nice to see those that actually care about what their kids do and how they’ll turn out. Keep up the good work (with or without ye olde metal).
“I just want you to know that I am proud of you. You are now listening to material that, a lot of people, might consider ‘too adult’ for a child of 13yrs. And, as your parent, I certainly had my concerns. But I have to say that you have clearly demonstrated that you, indeed, possess the maturity to process the material, without turning into a teenaged gangsta stereotype. Your grades are good, I don’t think you’ve taken up drugging / drinking, you haven’t taken to swearing/being disrespectful to your parents, I don’t hear of you being disrespectful to girls/women generally. These are all signs, for parents, that their child is being unduly influenced by material they are not yet mature enough for. I know I point it out when you disappoint me and I wanted to be sure and speak up when you have impressed me, as well. Kudos to you for being a fine young man, of which I am very proud!”
Succesful business leader / executive with an advanced degree and a fan of metal.
My 11-year-old son and I listen to metal together in the car. I call it “comic book music” and we discuss the silliness of the imagery and lyrics.
I guess I would say this: if you feel like you and your son have good communication, and he is instilled with the right values, he should be more than fine. If heavy metal can really tip someone over off the deep end, it would suggest that there is a lot more going on in their lives than just the introduction of loud music and fantastic/scary images…
Also - music by folks like Ronnie James Dio (Rainbow in the Dark; The Last in Line) and Iron Maiden (The Trooper; Aces High) are a great starting place. Heavy-ish music but nothing controversial about the lyrics; heck I talked to my kid about history for the Iron Maiden songs…
When I was a teenager, I was all about Cradle Of Filth, Type O Negative, and Marilyn Manson. Only one of those three bands still means anything to me. Type O, probably the least offensive of the three (and they mean a lot to me. I don’t think my parents could have beat me out of adoring that band if they tried). I’m grateful that my parents never made a big deal of it, and just focused on teaching me right from wrong and pointing out where the music differed. Rather than hyper-influencing me, they let my tastes and character grow organically, and now I’m a happily married mother of two children who works hard. The music didn’t hurt me any.
I think if you let your son express himself and his character now, he’ll get it out of his system and be a good person regardless. He obviously has concerned, involved parents, and that’s the key.
My first ever cassette tape was Appetite for Destruction by Guns n’ Roses. I hit 13 right as the grunge era swept the nation. My favorite bands as a teen sang about heroin addiction and suicide.
I’m a lawyer now, and I was nowhere near the overachiever your kid is when I was his age. Cut him some slack unless you notice his grades slipping or otherwise out-of-character behavior.
The music isn’t going to turn him into a “stoner,” he’ll simply find other music to get high to.
But you should make sure, there’s a difference between controlling his interests in music and guiding them or at minimum being aware of them.
It seems like the OP isn’t concerned about the music but rather the behaviour that may or may not be going along with it.
At 13 music, along with haircuts and clothes are the first signs of normal development and asserting independence, so at minimum you can rest assured your child is right on track as a normal, healthy kid.
heh. My husband interviewed Mustaine years ago for some article or another. He was reading “Pilgrim’s Progress” - which was highly recommended to him by another member of the band.
(This had little meaning to me - having no clue who Mustaine was at the time - still really don’t except I now understand he is in some heavy metal band).
robby, metal is fine, just don’t let him play D&D. That is the path to hell and gangs:
My 11-year-old son like Guitar Hero and he plays the drums. He learned Crazy Train by Ozzy. I’m not a big Ozzy fan, but it’s all theater AFAIC.
Music doesn’t cause problems, it’s a symptom. If you’re worried about the music, conversation is the best approach. But from what you describe it’s just a good kid dipping his toe in the water.
It could be much worse. My 13-year-old daughter listens to Top 40 pop [rant]crap. I’m a rock/blues/jazz guitarist and her radio station is like fingernails on a blackboard to me, especially all those songs where they can’t actually sing so they use digital manipulation to adust the singer’s pitch.[/rant]
Well sure, he’s developing a new interest and has something to talk about with the other kids. Even adults do this on some level or another – pick up on some music or book that people are talking about, to look and feel more worldly. At least in his case it seems to be coming from a sincere interest on his own part, he’s not into it just because he has new cool-kid friends and that’s what they listen to. And yeah, I wouldn’t necessarily assume that if he makes new metalhead friends then they’ll all be stoners. My brother listened to metal, as did his friends, and he never gave my parents a day of trouble.
Good for your son for exploring some music outside what’s big and popular now. I know a bunch of kids that age that wouldn’t dream of buying albums outside of the Top 40 for fear of not looking cool - if your son has the confidence to explore what truly interests him and be open minded, he probably comes across as a really interesting person to hang out with. So maybe the new found popularity is just a symptom of this, rather than assuming he is doing this to be popular.
I can’t comment on the quality of the music, but at 13 with a good head on his shoulders he won’t slide into drugs and depravity because of the music he listens to. Most people I know went through a bit of a ‘cultural awakening’ somewhere between 11 and 15 where their tastes in music, books, films, dress, art and hobbies changed dramatically. His tastes now won’t necessarily reflect his tastes as an adult, but this time of exploring is exciting and interesting. Try to enjoy it with him. Talk about what he enjoys in the music. Is it the emotions it puts across? Something in the drum beat? Guitar riffs? Vocal style?
He is busy trying to find out who he is. Right now he needs to listen to music you hate, and dress in a certain way and all sorts of other things that will bug and baffle you. He needs to explore which tastes are his and which he has just picked up from those around him. Please don’t return the CDs. This is something he needs to do, and it looks like he chose carefully so he didn’t break your parental advisory rule. He is showing he respects the family rules, so you should show him the same respect by letting him make his own decision about his music.
Seriously, none of the bands you mentioned are more than metal for beginners 101. Ozzy borders on classic rock.
But, good for you for checking, my daughter is 14 and is all about rap & hip hop & what ever else would be part of that sort of pop music scene, and I was just as lost a couple of years ago and had to ask around for what it was she was listening to as well.
Listen to the albums yourself, or read the lyrics if you can find them. Disturbed has some pretty adult themed music, addressing issues like violent resistance to the government, domestic battery, militant atheism, revenge, etc. Dragonforce is just goofy nerd-rock. Ozzy is like Disturbed, but with much less intellect.
Good for you for monitoring what your children are doing. If it was me, and my son, I would have to think for awhile before deciding whether to let a 13 year old buy it.
I wish he was into D&D… I certainly was at his age.