Ah! And I take it this third person doesn’t exist – you just found a way to express your general displeasure with gossipy people*, but in a non-confrontational way. That’s actually very clever – well done!
*Or, to put it in even gentler terms, you found a non-embarrassing way to warn this lady that she was asking for trouble by being so gossipy.
ETA: I guess the third person must exist after all (the woman this thread is about must know her from the meetups) – but still, very clever of you to “blame” someone else who just happens to display from the same annoying habit.
Yep, my mom has a friend who’s Protestant and her husband is Catholic. His mother was extremely devout and really upset that they weren’t going to raise the kids Catholic. She was caught trying to baptise their eldest in the kitchen sink. So it really does happen. (Said kid would be around my age, maybe a little older)
I did tell, as you put it, “Gossip Woman” that she might want to back off on talking about her SIL to people who don’t know him and her daughter, especially because he works right next door. She saw where I was coming from, and hesitantly agreed with me.
IDK what further details she’s shared with them, but it sounds like the marriage is in serious trouble for reasons having nothing to do with religion. Not my problem, and not my business either.
I went back to the beginning of this thread, and found out that I’d already mentioned DW before. At first, I thought it was just a one-time thing, but it happened over and over again, and I decided that the minuses of going there outweighed the plusses.
On top of “Divorce Woman”, we had a very gnarly winter, so I didn’t get out much unless it was absolutely necessary. DW rarely comes to this group any more, although I’m not sure why.
And tonight, I overheard the subject of this thread tell someone else (and all I heard was bits and pieces) that, in so many words, the real reason she basically moved in with her daughter after the second child was born was because he wasn’t coming home and refused to help with the kids or housework when he was there, and this was after a c-section with a 2-year-old on top of it. Not a good environment to bring children into, that’s for sure.
Actually, I can believe it, because it’s probably not about atheism, just about controlling her. Generally, abusive individuals (not saying this is the case here) will want to control someone, and have them conform to their own ideals, whether it’s religion, politics, hobbies, friends, etc. He also might want to isolate her from people at church.
It’s more like, I believe this, so YOU, as my wife, must believe it also. He can’t stand anyone disagreeing with him.
Note: I’m speaking in generalities here. I have no idea if this is the case, and the OP should just stay the fuck out of it. In fact, I’d probably stop talking to the woman all together.
Why I am commenting on this - I don’t know - oh wait - lack of better things to do I suppose.
I would suggest that it is more likely the MIL is being misled by the daughter and that the guy was always an atheist (in their relationship), but the daughter was too scared to tell her own mother. The whole having a kid thing made it so she couldn’t hide it from her mom.
Lets just suppose, for a moment, that near wildheaven likes drama. Most of the advise here is about avoiding drama, but if Nearwildheaven likes drama then maybe she should get involved. Its kind of like giving advice to someone about base jumping - sure it makes no sense from a practical point of view, but if someone really wants to do it the thrill is worth the risk.
I was coming from the angle that if she starts talking to me about it, I will say to her (again), “Does your daughter know that you’re discussing her marriage with people who don’t know them?”, good or bad?
