It happened on a Monday. Nothing in particular actually happened, I just wanted to say that…
Monday
I got up extra early from sheer anticipation - not only because I was going to eat lunch with “Elmark” but also because I was eager to get back to school. Learning is my drug and I am addicted.
When I arrived, I lallygagged around the campus - walking here and there, sitting on several benches, going through several doors. Eventually I sat down, feeling satisfied with the placement, and opened a book. When I looked up, however, I found that I was sitting in front of the building “Elmark” had Political Science in. I read for a while until I considered the possible events that might occur should he walk out. I mean, to a casual(or tense, if you prefer) observer I was basically *stalking * him.
Fearing the implications of such an act, I shoved my book back in my bag and waltzed in the direction of the Cafeteria. Admittedly, this wasn’t making me less of a stalker - just a relocated one. I tried to read there, but my thoughts of what might happen sent me staring at everyone who apparated through the door.
Finally he showed up - I shot a glance, my eyebrows rose - and looked at me. He then proceeded to keep moving. I thought to myself, did I do something wrong? Does he not want to buy me lunch?, as I went around the other way to follow him.
I found him at the vending machine, putting change in, and immediately my stomach sank. It wasn’t going to be fed.
“Hey,” I said tentatively, eying the dimes like they were an evil stepmother come to take my glass slippers away, “I just wanted to find you, since I knew you would be here.”
I didn’t mention the deal he made with me. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful - after all, he didn’t have to feed a random acquaintance.
“Sixty, Seventy…” He was counting change, looking guilty. I stood there in the awkward moment. “I looked for you outside, but couldn’t find you…so I was just coming inside to get us something and then I was going to go back outside to wait for you.”
“Oh, cool.”
“I am sorry man. You’re going to have to choose something in here for a dollar…”
I awaited his explanation, for I knew it was coming.
“Man, I feel really sick…I’ve been puking all morning…I didn’t feel up to making anything last night…I didn’t bring any money with me.”
“No, it’s cool,” I say, understanding why I came here. It wasn’t to have a free lunch; it was to be around him. How pathetic! “I don’t mind, really…”
“You’ve got a lot of options,” He continued, as if I hadn’t said anything, “There’s trail-mix, and that stuff, and chips, and…just choose whatever you want.”
“I’ll take…”
“Just choose whatever you want. They have…”
I eyed him with annoyance. I got it dude, I need to make a decision. Now if you would just let me press the two flippin’ buttons, we can move on…
“A-Six.” I voice, pressing the buttons in turn. Jalapeno chips fall down and I continue in saying that I don’t really care at all about what didn’t happen.
He looks at his options now, with earnest, as if choosing lottery numbers. I was curious suddenly - suspicious.
“Do you…Do you drink?” I ask.
“No, man. I don’t drink, man - I see what you’re insinuating.” He picked trail mix and took it out.
“No, I am not insinuating at all - see, I am asking. Insinuating is indirect.” I say quickly, and we continued on our way.
We step outside.
“So, where are we going?” He asks me.
“Shima, of course.”
“No, man - it is too early for class.”
“I know - that doesn’t mean we can’t sit around there.”
“I don’t want to sit around there.” He whines.
“There are lots of nice places to sit there.” I lie.
“No, there isn’t.”
“Alright, there isn’t, but it is somewhere!”
This seems to have settled it. We are walking towards the Shima building. We are walking. We are walking. Wait, where are we going?"
“Where are we going?”
“Not to Shima.” He chimes.
“Yes, I see that - where?” I press, my grumpy mood all too obvious now.
We walk behind Shima and to a mound; a pine cone tree, one of its branches bent unnaturally, shades us from the sun.
“See, this is pretty comfortable.” He tells me, though this quote at least is a paraphrase.
“Yes, it looks comfy.” I reply honestly.
“See this is my place - our place - and our tree.” He gestures fervently, then proceeds to plop down. I sit next to him despite the fact that sitting on the grass tends to make me itchy.
I liked that he called it our place, though knew know he didn’t mean anything gay by it. When he laid down I tensed up. His shirt was just long enough to cover his stomach when he was walking, but not when he was laying on his back, forearms up.
Something one should know about me - I like skin. Not in the sense of the phrase, show some skin, but actual skin. Especially skin in usually covered areas, of course. I sometimes joke to myself that I was a cannibal in a former life. Now I am deviating.
I hated that he was teasing me so, even if he was completely unaware of it. His Calvin Klein underwear announced itself in white with gray letters. I took out my handy water bottle to distract myself, and it worked.
Water. Water. Water. Delicious water. Delicious water that makes me carelessly use fragmented sentences. Water. Water. Water.
Return to “Elmark”:
There were several conversations, most of which have unexpectedly fallen from my brain. Here’s random clips:
“You look dapper today. Stepping it up, eh?”
“No. I am just poor. I have a very limited cycle. This just happened to be on my cycle.”
“So Monday is your blue button up shirt, day?”
“No, I just hadn’t worn it yet.”
“Well I can help you in that area.”
“How?”
He became extremely vague at this point and disjointed from the conversation. I found this to be annoying. I was already grumpy.
“Well? How are you helping me?”
“Well…”
“We don’t wear the same size.”
“No.”
“I don’t need help picking out my clothes; I do that on my own just fine.”
And so on. I don’t think he ever explained himself.
. . . .
“That guy looks weird.”
“Hey, that isn’t nice.”
Moment of silence.
“I’m not even religious and even * I * am less judgmental than you are.”
This was after several comments critiquing people walking past.
“Well you haven’t been criticizing me.”
“I have, you just haven’t noticed.” He said with a smile. I hate his smiles - simply because I love them.
“No, you haven’t.”
“Yes - I talked about your clothes.”
“Talking about my clothes is not the same as talking about my physical appearance.” I said. While saying this, I thought to myself…I wonder if a dash would be appropriate here?.
“Well, we’ll get to that in a moment.” He said in another smile. I blushed and waved my hands about.
“No, we are never - ever - talking about my appearance. Just no.” I have no qualms about my appearance - I think I am adorable - but I didn’t want to hear my crush’s opinion. I took note at this point in time that he had gold specks in his iris.
. . . .
“We should ditch school.”
“Why would we want to do that?” I asked, amazed. I had never skipped school in my life, and I had to bite back my curiosity.
“Come on - get two hot chicks from tutoring class and take them to Togo’s.”
“Togo’s? Isn’t that a clothing store?” I said, and I still have no idea what it is. “Wait, and I thought you said you didn’t have any money?”
“Well fine,” He said, “We’ll go to Mr. Pickle’s[something like that] and get coupons.”
“No.”
After this we stopped talking. I read my book for a while, trying my best not to watch him sleep. He didn’t snore at all. Finally I got up.
“I’ll see you in class.”
“Is it time?”
“No, I just need to go pee…and you’re sleeping.”
“Sorry man, I am so tired…”
“It’s fine, you need the sleep.”
That was the last I spoke with him. He tried sitting at my table in Lab, but resigned to a seat next to it. Afterwards I wanted to speak to another Lab person instead, so I said goodbye to him. He lallygagged at the door, holding it open for me, though I took a good minute. He stayed where we usually met until it was clear I was walking the other way.
I did turn around and walk downstairs with him, because the other buddy was taking the elevator and I preferred the stairs.
“Elmark” and I parted then. He is bringing me a sandwich tomorrow.
Sorry, I have to go…so I am trying to wrap it up. Nothing really important, except it seems I got some of my will back.
Wish me luck for tomorrow!
~S.P.I.~
