Oh, my bad. Too dry. Needs… butter or something.
This is exactly the kind of thing I warned you about.
I hope you’re asking for luck in your efforts to avoid this guy, because there is no way this will end happily for you if you continue this “Oh, I just happened by chance to be here where I knew you’d be, so let me follow you all over campus listening to your semi-coherent ramblings and thinking about how wonderful you are!” business. You are setting yourself up for weeks, even months, of listening to this jerk bragging about how great he is and complaining about his girlfriend, until you finally come to your senses and realize how much time you’ve wasted on him and what a hormone-addled fool you’ve been.
I am beginning to suspect the same, although Pajama Pants Girl seemed a lot more likable than the object of affection here. Regardless, the only way this story is going to have a happy ending is if Other Dreams is making it up.
It somewhat amuses me how quickly some of you went from concerned to down-right aggressive.
The story isn’t fake - the story doesn’t have any bearing on your lives, either, and I understand that in the grand scheme of things it isn’t important.
That said, this thread can be closed now. Like Lamia suggested, I am no longer friends with him. My conversations with him are polite and brief, and I am not trying to talk to him anymore. Gradually I aim to not talk to him at all.
Thank you for your advice - your casual sarcasm - and your unneccesary degradation.
The end,
~S.P.I.~
Well, I’d like you to know that I’m sorry it turned out the way it has. It really sucks when you have a crush that doesn’t crush back. Those moments where you get to think “he gets me! Someone finally gets me!” and then you find out that no… no they don’t.
But someone will, Other Dreams. Just focus on yourself and where you want to take your life and go there. I know it’s easier to say than to do, but I’m rooting for you.
So what exactly happened between Monday and today?
Really quick summary for anyone still interested: I realised that whenever I was around him I would think negatively. I would be grumpy and inconsiderate. A psychologically unhealthy friendship that wasn’t helped by my crush on him. We sat together today, but not because I wanted to. The person who ordinarily sits next to me now wasn’t there, which sucked. He was saying a lot of judgmental and shallow things about the people around him and telling me how I should dress. I don’t want to be around that kind of person, and with all the other factors swimming around in this Meyer-esque tale, I knew we could no longer be friends. I didn’t meet him at our spot even though I wanted to, I didn’t talk to him after class…and so on. I think he is getting the picture. It looks like it will be a smooth transition between acquaintances to strangers.
Farewell
~S.P.I.~
Good for you, Other Dreams.
It’s nothing personal, but the main reason people might think you were making this up is we’ve had people do that in the past. We tend to be skeptical around here.
Specifically when they give improbably detailed, story-like reports.
Stick around and post to other threads and you’ll build up rep, Other.
He explained why he gave lots of detail, if I recall correctly; he has a really good memory. I only came in tonight to see if there was an update. (Thanks, Other.)He pretty much thought it was going to go this way, but was giving the details some of us had asked for. Why do people have to be such snarky assholes (I don’t mean you, Sage Rat – I know you were just explaining the skepticism) around here sometimes? m4m personals, really, Freudian Slit? Other’s posts have been nothing but nice, funny, and interesting to read. Whatever.
They just seemed kind of scarily obsessive to me. He seemed really hard up to the point where he was imagining that this clearly straight guy had sexual feelings for him. It just seems like maybe he needs to loosen up and get laid–clearly that is not going to happen with this pseudo frat guy in the OP.
I’ve PMed this to Other Dreams but also wanted to say publicly that the part of his story that sounded fishiest to me actually wasn’t something he wrote at all, it’s something I misread. So that was my fault. I was skimming (it was a long post) and got confused as to who was saying what.
There have been a number of SDMB posters who did turn out to be posting made-up stories as events from their own lives, but there have also been a number of SDMB posters who have been wrongly suspected of making up events from their own lives. We can rarely really be sure over the Internet.
So, here’s my take. Any guy who claims to be a devout Pentacostal then carries around naked pics of his girlfriend is not a good person. That’s a sociopath right there. A charming, narssisitic sociopath, who is afraid to be without adoring company and so will string you along as long as possible while putting the smallest possible amount of effort into your relationship be it friendship or otherwise.
Drop him like a dirty bomb and run.
I’m not entirely sure what to make of this guy based on what we’ve been toldm, but I strongly suspect something of this nature.
I have several theories about him, possibly all wrong.
Theory one: He’s gay (or bi) and has been trying to sleep with you. If that’s the case, his behavior makes him sound like someone you want to avoid. I don’t mean the part about trying to sleep with you (though it kind of sounds like you might not like that so soon anyway), but how he’s been going about trying to sleep with you.
Theory two: He’s straight and is enjoying the attention (whether or not he realizes you are gay). You should also avoid him in this case. It’s not a healthy relationship (especially considering you have a crush on him).
Theory three: He’s looking to convert you–to pentecostalism, to straighness, or to both. My first quarter at school, there was a guy in one of my classes that went out of his way to be friends with me and “study buddies”. I’m straight, but I’m a bit socially awkward so I was happy that someone was trying to by my friend. Midway through the course he started trying to give me religious literature in what I can only imagine was an attempt to convert me. Perhaps he also thought I was gay, I don’t really know. In any case once I made it clear I wasn’t interested in converting he stopped showing interest in me. I really don’t know if this is the case with your situation–I feel like this theory is the least likely of the three–but the idea occurred to me.
What ties these three theories together? They all involve him manipulating you at least to a certain extent and they all seem unlikely to end well (theory number one sort of seems to contain a small possibility of ending well, but I’m skeptical of this).
I see. In the first encounter, though, the guy did seem to give some weird mixed signals. I thought he was gay undercover at first. And what straight guy offers to buy another a male classmate – who is a recent acquaintance – lunch at college? When I was in college, even people who were dating often bought their own stuff. Lots of us were poor!
I agree with TruCelt, and I’m glad to read that you’re carving out some distance.
These things stood out to me as somewhat perilous:
-
He’s good-looking and evidently popular (8 people in his room when you visited). He seems a bit overwhelming in your conversations with him - one of those friendly, boisterous guys who pound you just a little too hard on the back in a show of friendliness. Is it because they are oblivious to their own strength/words/actions? A hidden display of aggression? Intentional or not, I mistrust it.
-
He showed you explicit pictures of his girlfriend. Again, I think there’s a bit a aggression beneath the camaraderie. Why would he assume you’d want to see pictures of his gf? Even if you were straight, to doesn’t mean you’re in the mood to look at titties, and they’re his girlfriend’s tits, so it’s not like you could pursue it even if you wanted to. Plus, it’s just a dick thing to do.
-
“Devout” Pentacostal. I’ve got nothing agaist Pentacostals. I just don’t like how it fits in with the rest of him
Granted, there were some things he said that were genuinely sweet. But since he’s a crush, it puts you in a more vulnerable position. My guess is he’s an all-around decent guy whose his charisma gives him a certain complacency in how he treats other people.
I have no advice to offer but the two or three posts of your day were interesting to read.
This is why got from the OP. Even if he is a bit bi-curious, he doesn’t seem like the type who’d act on it (or if he did, he might lash out at you afterwards for ‘making him’).
Yes, I sometimes surprise myself with how much I can remember of an event. Even with people I am not crushing on.
I thank all of you for your further replies, especially the assessments as to the man’s attitude.
I have been struggling with guilt however, because yesterday when I was at school he looked at me to see if I was coming with him and I didn’t look up, or reply at all. I was trying to be polite and gradual about my distancing, but suddenly I found myself being needlessly abrupt. He won’t care very much after a few weeks, but still…
Anyway, I am becoming friends with a guy - I shall refer to him as J.W. - who is also gay. He’s about to be 45 and has a fiance, but was unable to marry him before it was banned. He’s cool to talk to and helpful since he is studying psychology. It is almost like we were meant to be friends. I say that I have an easier time relating to people around his age and up, and he says he has an easier time relating to people my age.
I’m babbling now. All in all I am gradually feeling much better and am having a good day.
This is the last post I am making here, I swear 
~S.P.I.~
This theory becomes a lot more likely if he is truly “devout” and his Pentecostalism is one of those that believes homosexuality is sinful. However, the whole thing about showing you those pics of his girlfriend makes me doubt it, as well. Pentecostalism really stresses the whole propriety of dress thing.
ETA: Sorry, didn’t realize you were done with the subject, as I didn’t see your last post.