This is your McQueary moment. Call the cops or child protective services. You will regret not doing so.
Chiming in with the consensus. Even if CPS doesn’t do anything, if this creep knows he’s on CPS radar, it might get him to back off some, and CPS might also talk with the girl and let her know about some resources she can turn to if the creep attacks her again.
I’m not sure whether involving granny further is going to be helpful or harmful. If your description of the scenario is accurate, someone who is* still* wondering if her grandkid is getting molested and is waiting for something more before she calls the authorities is not (IMO) going to be all that proactive.
It’s possible they are having marathon heart to heart talks but it’s not all that likely. You and your wife are going to have to take this situation in hand and report him. I don’t think I’d gie Granny a warning or she will probaly tell him and he may flee, threaten the kid, or cook up a story.
The bottom line is that there is a significant probability that little girl is getting raped or otherwise molested while the old lady dithers. You and your wife need to act.
Do you live in the same town as Granny? If so, then I would go over there and talk to her and let her know that she needs to call CPS, and be very dramatic and detailed about her responsibility here. Get her all worked up in a dither over what could be happening to the child and would could happen to her if she doesn’t make a call. I think a call coming from her would be much more likely to be investigated quickly than from the OP or his wife.
Damn straight. I had a godfather as a child (an absolutely wonderful man who I adored) and when I was very little I was showing him something in my room and I closed the door. My mom immediately came in and explained that I always had to keep my bedroom door open. I think she said something to my “uncle” about not wanting him to feel uncomfortable and he totally understood, because he would never, ever even DREAM of hurting a child like that, but the point is that GROWN MEN DO NOT SPEND TIME LOCKED IN A BEDROOM WITH A CHILD.
Why hasn’t anybody asked the girl what goes on in said locked bedroom and gauged her response?
Yes, definitely report ASAP. Better safe than sorry. Please let us know you’ve done so, Incubus.
I’m gonna go against the tide & go out on a limb here…
Yep, report.
This question is like asking “should I run out of a burning building?”
Don’t be a McQueary. Call.
Word from a P.Bear.
(What’s a “McQueary”?)
The fellow who, as a grad assistant ~10 years ago, witnessed Sandusky doing his thing with a boy in a shower at Penn State, and reported it to Coach Paterno.
But not to local police or kampus kops, apparently: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57326703-504083/no-record-of-mike-mcqueary-reporting-jerry-sandusky-child-sex-abuse-say-cops/
Pedophiles will latch onto women with kids, or adopt a kid, or even have their own kids for their sick pleasures. It’s called “growing your own.”
Please tell us you reported it.
Please. I can’t stop thinking of the poor girl locked in with a secretive, creepy man previously evicted for breaking into a bedroom to ogle and touch girls, while the people around her wonder what to do about it.
What the hell? Is this not worthy of a Pitting? Why are you asking us? GO AND REPORT. She’s a helpless girl and someone has to act like the goddamned adult.
I’ve never been so pissed on SDMB.
Oh.
My.
God.
A very close personal friend of mine just lost her daughter to the daughter’s father in a custody battle. The daughter’s father was none other than the RAPIST and ABUSER of the friend, but in order to “keep the family peace” she did not report her rape and subsequent many years of further abuse. When the daughter came about, she thought it may be her ticket out of the abusive situation and left to make a life of her own, but he tracked her down, made a paternity claim, made her life hell for the last few months, and in the end, took away the light of her life and the light in her eyes.
What does my story have to do with this thread? Well, the abuser father’s father was a KNOWN abuser - everyone knew about his propensity for paedophilia - but no one took the effort to officially REPORT him, so he got away with it for years and years. Everyone KNEW the son’s probable abuse, but again, nobody REPORTED him until it was too late.
Please, do NOT let this person go another day with out questioning his actions! Let the evidence speak for itself: he is a KNOWN child ABUSER (yes, ‘just’ having your hair fondled is still abuse!), but the family won’t speak up against him. He spends an inordinate and unusual amount of time with a young defenseless girl, and to further damn his situation LOCKS the door while he is with this poor girl.
If only to question his very suspicious behavior, I would immediately discuss this situation with your local police department or patrolman or sheriff or whomever is there to
“protect and serve” the public. I would not go to CPS - IMHO they are mired in a bureaucratic maze of can not’s and must do’s and can do’s and must not’s so far that they have lost the ability to truly and efficiently think for themselves or act on their suspicions. The police do NOT have their hands tied by the current political correctness campaign.
Please ask for help from the police.
For the girl’s sake: make a simple call to your law enforcement, have an officer over for some coffee, and tell them the entire story. Don’t embellish it. Don’t leave any part out. Do, however, give the officer a full and true recollection of all you and your wife know about this very suspicious and possibly dangerous situation.
Please!
Talked to my wife about it. She said the reason the grandma never reported it was that in Mexican culture, people have a tendency to look the other way or just generally be apathetic about stuff like abuse. Even in my wifes situation, when she told her dad about what creepo did, while her dad kicked the guys ass, threw him out of his house and told him never to go near his daughters again, he didnt actually call the police on him. Her family is quite private and balk about getting authorities involved. Its particularly hard for my wife since her career is about protecting children.
The good news is my wife is getting the ball rolling on calling in on the guy. We’ll see how it goes…
I’m very glad to hear that. Keep us updated on what happens.
To hell with Mexican culture!
I don’t mean to pick at you since I’m glad to hear some action is being taken, but can you explain what your statement means? How do you “get the ball rolling” on reporting someone instead of just making the call?
For the record, I have some understanding of the instict to ask for advice before making a call on this. When someone very dear to me told me that she was going to commit suicide, instead of calling 911, my instinct was to call a mutual friend for perspective. I was genuinely afraid that I was going to somehow blow the situation out of proportion (yeah, I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s what went through my mind). Fortunately, the friend said that if I really thought she was going to kill herself, I needed to make the call, which I did. And in turned out, in fact, that this person had actually gone through with trying to kill herself, so I’m glad I did make the call.
That being said, you’ve sought out advice to make sure you’re not blowing things out of proportion. You’ve gotten almost unanimous response that you’re not blowing things out of proportion. If this guy is really committing the crime that we think he is committing, then every day that passes is another day of suffering in the girl’s life that she can’t get back (and who knows – her situation might be getting worse by the day). And if he’s innocent? Well, the sooner authorities get involved and can determine that, the better off everyone involved will be. As far as I can tell, waiting isn’t serving anyone’s interests.