It’s pretty much all older cultures. Rewind to 40 years ago in American culture - child sexual abuse was something people didn’t take at all seriously back then. The Mexicans aren’t any worse than anyone else on this score, unfortunately.
But what I think I hear you saying is that if following cultural mores (regardless of culture) and rescuing a child from abuse come into conflict, there damned well ought to be no contest. And that’s a sentiment I can completely agree with.
I don’t believe that for one second – and even if it were true, who gives a shit about Mexican culture?
What’s this “getting the ball rolling” stuff? There is no ball to roll, this is not like applying for a mortgage or some shit. Turning in a pedophile isn’t some kind of “process.” Seriously – WTF?
Imma make it real simple for you:
Pick up the phone.
Press the 9.
Press the 1.
Did you do steps 2 and 3 IN ORDER? Good!! Now – press the 1 again, BUT ONLY ONCE.
Talk to the nice person that answers the phone and tell them what you told us.
I don’t think you should call 911, because that should only be used for potential life & death emergencies (accidents, fires, etc.) that need immediate emergency attention.
Call the regular police line and the operator should transfer you to an appropriate officer.
And who the hell cares about “Mexican Culture” when it comes to potential child abuse? Seriously, wtf.
I wish to God it were as simple as you are all making it seem. We are all trained to believe that the authorities will over-react and the suspect’s life will be ruined even if he’s innocent.
The unfortunate truth is that everyone you talk to instantly becomes the suspects lawyer, and begins reaching for the tiniest excuses to believe that no action needs to be taken. Police, CPS, Family Court, GAL, they will all immediately come down hard and fast on the tiniest thing you do wrong, while the suspect has only to sit back and grin while the entire strength of the system works to protect his rights.
NAMBLA has definitely won in the courts and on the Public Relations side. It’s not that they’ve convinced us it’s all right, they’ve just convinced us that every guy on the Sex Offender’s registry is a poor benighted 16-year-old who’s been convicted of having sex with his 17-year-old girlfriend.
You need proof. Hard evidence that will stand up in court. If the house belongs to Grandma she can probably approve the installation of a camera in the girl’s room. (Check local laws - usually fine if there’s no soudn recording.) Inform local Law Enforcement and have them at the ready the next time he goes in there. Be watching the camera.
Or make an immediate trip to the ER after interrupting his next locked-door session, but I hope you don’t have to let it go that far again.
Letting her get raped three more times while you dither about the solution is the only indefensible option.
Would you call 911 if you knew a grown woman was about to be raped?
WTF?!
No, actually, it’s the job of law enforcement to gather evidence.
The OP should dial 9-1-1 and let the people take over who do this sort of thing for a living. The OP and his wife should let the authorities know they’re willing to cooperate in any way possible to rescue this child. But they should defer to the police, unless the local police have a track record of screwing up cases like this.
I realize that the hands of CPS are often tied by procedure, but your wife used to work there. She’s not a regular-ol-random-phoning-in reporter---- she’s an ex employee, familiar with standards of abuse. She doesn’t need to call the random reporting line, she needs to call some of her friends or her old boss and explain the situation. Let them file the report, as they’ll take her claim a little more seriously than just the random person answering the phone (where I live, you leave a voicemail and don’t even speak to someone).
To be fair to the OP, Skyrim just came out. He’s probably really busy.
Not to hijack, but my coworker is choking on her lunch and can’t seem to breathe. Should I do anything about it? Any tips? I’d like to get the ball rolling on helping her if I can.
Here’sa pamphlet you can order – you can get second-day delivery if you order quick.
In my experience, in this particular realm of complaint, they think it’s CPS job, who thinks it’s the Family Court’s job, who can’t see why they should be concerned if the police aren’t. . .
My research shows that my experience was typical.
First level of suspicion is grandma’s story. Not knowing her, I don’t believe she is telling the truth.
ETA: If your wife decides to tell the authorities, I would hope that she says “I was told by (grandma’s name) that this is happening,” and not just “this is happening.”
So grandma is technically part of the problem.
Explain to grandma what the term “accessory” means in criminal law.
Also, is grandma aware of what happened to wife and her sisters when they were children? Just making sure.
Can you sneak a hidden camera into the room?
There could be any number of reasons why the situation isn’t what it appears to be. But none of them matter, because it’s entirely possible–if not probable–that it is what it appears to be. And that means you need to get the authorities involved, immediately.
The warning signs are there. Let people who are qualified to evaluate them do their jobs.
Now now, let’s not be hasty.
The first thing you should ask: how would they handle a situation like this in Mexico? Some cultures are really apathetic about choking and tend to just look the other way, y’know.
Which can be misinterpreted as an attempt by the op to harvest child porn. Or thats what hes gonna claim when he finds the camera. If anything electronic a good microphone would probably be almost as effective, and less likely to rise to charges.
It’s not for him to figure out the details. There are 20,000 red flags up right now. He’s not the investigator, but he IS a supposedly caring and ethical adult, so…
Im very wtf over all this. Why was your wife a social worker again??
This is getting pathetic. Goddamn, Incubus, you really need to step up and be a man here and do something, even if the people around you won’t. I am losing respect for you by the minute here.
Huh? Do you just assume that people are generally liars unless you personally know them to be otherwise, or does your skepticism only apply to claims of child molestation?
Personally, unless I have some reason to doubt someone, I tend to assume they’re telling the truth. And not only does Incubus’s wife have no reason to doubt her grandma, she has more reason to believe her, because of her own experiences with her cousin’s skeevy behavior.