Once Ted Cruz is elected President and neocons take over the power spots in the new Administration, it’s inevitable that their attention will be turned to annexing Nova Scotia. Oil is nice but we’re fracking plenty. What they’ll really want is to corner the world Nova lox supply (extra lobster would be welcome also).
The only downside I can see is that there are so many Scottish people living there, they’d probably want to secede and keep making PITAs of themselves.
I’m convinced on sound reasoning that the massive economic disruption of “we will take yours” will alone significantly outweigh whatever looting the U.S. thinks it can do, so if you’re going to mention it, even in passing, I figure it’s worth challenging. That’s well before the asymmetric insurgency you’d face on your own soil which will have you turning your own country into a police state. Of course, if it’s happening in the Mad-Maxian dystopia you describe, possibly nobody will care.
But a closer voluntary association I can imagine, or more accurately I can see a series of plausible steps in which both nations evolve toward a point where unification of some kind can occur. It wouldn’t even be necessary to exterminate any local cultures - the cultures are nearly indistinguishable already.
No Mad Max necessary. Our farmland dries up and blows away while the Canucks monetize the Northwest Passage. We realize we need expansion space, and Canada is a bunch of filthy Royalists anyway.
None of this is exactly outside the bounds of historically documented behavior. How long do you Tories think you can live high on the hog while your neighbors to the south are in a refugee crisis?
Well, the one thing all North Americans agree on, US, Canada and Mexico, is that we always elect do-nothing idiots. I’m pretty sure I could unite the country behind my incompetence and piss off all the usual talking heads. I’d hold weekly press conferences serving entrees in a soup kitchen and make the reporters ask questions while standing in line with the homeless. I’d be snide to the “pressers” and treat the homeless like decent people. And oh yeah, there would be a camera.
Q1: “Pres Minister, Congress refuses to lift the embargo on the now recognized Cuba…”
A: “Chicken or meat loaf, there are hungry people waiting. Next.”
Q2: “Meat loaf, gravy, thanks for paying attention, nobody used to pay attention to me.”
A: “You’re welcome, God Bless. You! From the Washington Post! Sit down for dinner and pay attention to this man! I want to read the interview tomorrow morning!”
We need to consider another alarming possibility - that the Keystone pipeline is a massive Trojan horse.
Once it is built, instead of the oil Americans blithely assume will be pouring down it, secret trapdoors will open along its length and Canadian commandos will come pouring out to seize the mid-portion of the United States, presaging a general takeover.
When you’re all forced to pronounce your 'o’s funny and subscribe to The Curling Network, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Could be a good idea but the name…Alberta…is a little too effete. Texas works for Texas because it sounds macho, like it has low hangers and smells of BO.
We could change it to “Albert” and nickname it “Bert.”
An no more free abortions!
