Am I the only one who has never heard of, nor been in the vicinity of anything approaching a “dry” event.
The concept of an outright ban on alcohol at any social gathering is completely alien to me. As such any invite to me would carry with it an implicit assumption that alcohol is fine and it would be a huge mis-step to not state it on the invite.
There are many people in the world who think that the American custom of having a glass of water at the meal is strange/alien or even downright rude. But even in Australia, there are still people here who think that social events don’t have to include alcohol.
OK, not providing it or choosing not to drink yourself is one thing but an explicit ban on bringing a bottle of wine or beers to such an informal event? exceedingly rare in my experience.
If you were invited to a Muslim wedding, would you assume alcohol would be fine?
I’d assume it wasn’t provided but if invited to bring your own food and drink then unless explicitly told otherwise I’d assume I can bring what I like.
At the only Muslim event I’ve attended drink was provided for those who wanted it.
That’s radically unlike any Muslim-hosted event I’ve ever been to (and I’ve been to many)
It is almost like people are different isn’t it?
So booze free is a bad thing or just odd?
Neither, just very uncommon and worth making a specific mention of it on any invite.
There are rum cakes where the cake is soak in rum after cooking. Actually I believe there are several similar desserts.
If a family member is dating a vegan/vegetarian and the invitation specifically said NO MEAT DISHES, would my decision not to attend mean that I had an eating problem?
Yeah, the no alcohol without any context pings my judgemental/controlling radar. I don’t like hanging out with people like that. Nothing says good time more than Aunt Edna being passive aggressive.
This is yet another classic example of how people make their own decisions and rules and then label it as “God’s Will”. According to scripture, Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine for a social gathering. Amazing.
It means that you don’t want to spend time with them unless there is food there that you specifically want to eat, and that you won’t be happy with the food unless there is meat. That seems like it’s more likely a family problem than an eating problem, but yes, I’d say there’s a problem there.
(And i am an unrepentant carnivore with a vegan SIL, so I’ve been in exactly this situation. I cooked beans and root vegetables.)
If the decision were solely based on the fact that they weren’t serving meat, I would find that odd and akin to a dependence problem, yes. It, of course, does not matter what I think. I suspect, though, that the more likely reason one wouldn’t attend is because one feels resentment towards the family member accommodating their partner’s dietary choice, and one somehow feels it’s rude, unfair, etc. I would venture a guess that that is more likely driving the decision.
OK, just musing on the “drinking problem” concept.
Maybe some Tom Waits will help:
Well I got a bad liver and broken heart yeah
I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
And I don’t have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can’t get a drink
And I wish you’d a-known her, we were quite a pair, ñ
She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer
To the OP: are you ready and willing to contact the prospective party hosts and get the rest of the story for us all ?
I’d be curious.
I’ve certainly been to a number of them, including several weddings. In every case, the hosts were conservative Christians, who didn’t drink, and did not want drinking at their events.
And with the analogy with meat above, I’ve been to events both dry AND vegetarian (all of these were Hindu events. Most Hindu events I’ve been to actually do offer meat and plenty of alcohol, but not all. Interestingly enough, at least to me, the one wedding I worked in Ahmedabad (Gujarat, India, which is both a dry and mostly vegetarian state, there was more meat and booze (at least on the pre-wedding ceremony days) than I’ve seen here. It was like a free-flowing fountain of Johnnie Walker Gold.)
I was best man for my brother’s wedding. His in-laws footed the bill, but wanted a dry reception. As best man, I did my job and brought so much booze there was some left over.