Definitely bitchy. An indulgent meal every so often is a wonderful thing. Hell, I just had an overly indulgent 10 days in Italy where I ate whatever I wanted the entire time I was there. I felt a bit like a beached whale when I got back, but a week later, I’m back to the weight I was the day before I left. I sure as hell wasn’t going to count carbs, calories, or anything else in Italy.
Why not just talk to her and find out what she would like to eat?
You know, working out the problem instead of just giving up.
Antimanics, it sounds like she just wanted to eat a stick of celery. I mean… she didn’t have to hoover it down like somebody was going to take it away from her, but she didn’t have to equate that amazing meal to a couple of Snickers bars or what have you. Like I said before, she could have been tactful about it.
I started dieting in December to lose the weight I gained when I came to college. And for the first couple of months, I was counting every Weight Watchers point. But you know what? If someone asked me to dinner, I made sure they knew I was watching what I ate, and was ready to offer advice on what I could and could not eat. It’s not that bloody hard.
Plus, when I went home, I enjoyed what my mom made me and didn’t worry about how many calories were in it. Just ate a bit less than I used to.
She should have informed you ahead of time that she’s dieting, she should have at least tried what you made her, and there’s no possible excuse for telling someone “I’d rather have two candy bars than the meal you’re making for me,” whether it’s true or not.
Now, dieting does not equal low body image or low self esteem. And splurging “once in a while” can all too easily become splurging all the time. So please, don’t get annoyed at this chick because she’s on a diet. Get annoyed at her because she’s completely rude about it and gives more thoughtful dieters a bad name.
– Dragonblink, 138 for the first time in five years.
Obsessive complulsiveness is not something that can be controlled, so if she was indeed obsessive complulsive about not eating high calorie foods, her behaviour shouldn’t be considered as her being rude. It’s a neourolgical thing that can’t be controlled by that person unless they take medication.
A total Bitch! You invited her to dinner and COOKED for her, and she said she’d rather have CANDY BARS??? You’re a sweetheart and sound like quite a catch, and she didn’t deserve it.
As somone else said, lucky you, you dodged a bullet. I’m a mad calorie counter too, but I would have handled my fear of a heavy caloric meal like that SO much differently (and unbeknownst to the man).
What an ungrateful wench! I hope you kicked her anorexic ass right out the door. If it makes you feel any better flight, I’ll be happy to eat at your house anytime!
Another vote for that or similar - I can’t believe the rudeness of telling your host you’d rather have a piece of cheap candy than the meal they’re preparing you.
When my ex first asked me out he was to cook us dinner and watch a movie. He picked me up and drove me to his place. Then he put dinner on. A lovely BBQ with huge T-bone steaks and the works. So what was the problem? I was a vegetarian at the time :eek:
Rather than complain or refuse to eat, I tucked in and enjoyed the steak and trimmings. It was only later did I mention being vegetarian.
It is easier (better) to enjoy yourself and the kindness of others than be rude and ungreatful.
Hope you find a good woman to appreciate your cooking skills.
I’m so hungry now. Petite Pots du Creme au Chocolat? Damn. 
I’ve been slowly training myself to eat cheesecake for dessert when I eat out. Unfortunately for me I love the really rich ones that cost around $7 a slice. Wanna come round to my place and make cheesecake?
If “make cheesecake” is Aussie slang for a good root in the sack, I am SO there!
I’m just wishing I was cute and single so you would ask me out.
I’m very rude I’m sure to quote the entire post, and make it an extended me too, but there are so many good points in this points, I just wanted to expand on them.
I joined WW June 2001 - hit my goal April 21, 2002 - and as you can see by the dates, this coming Monday I will be celebrating one year at/below goal. Having said that, here is what I would have done if I was the woman in the scenario:
-
You invited me to dinner (how nice!) - I accept, and maybe ask what you will be serving, if I can without being rude. If so, I might ask that you do some lighter side dishes if you are doing a heavier main meal - or offer to bring something.
-
I didn’t get a chance to request a lighter meal - and I know how hard you are working to make this gourmet meal for me - so I eat light that day, in anticipation of a heavier meal.
-
My eating lighter plan fails - I come to dinner, knowing that I ate heavier than I wanted to that day. So - I eat a smaller portion.
What I do not do -
-
Disparage your cooking choices. You didn’t have to cook for me - so when you do, I should appreciate it.
-
Decide that the world must revolve around me (as much as it should). My eating choices should not infringe upon yours - it’s not my business. My business is my choices.
I have kept the weight off for a year by following simple guidelines - and have not offended anyone in doing so. Have a challenge today, too - boss made a cheesecake - so these tools go into practice!
Susan
Inconsiderate… sure.
So what?
It makes it all better venting here, complaining behind her back?
He coulda easily opened some dialogue with her and got to the bottom of it.
Perhaps she was just enlightening HIM on calories and cooking and whatnot. But he decided to take offense, have his ego hurt and make a big production outta it.
Sad and sorry, I say. don’t date, or make dinners for people if you don’t have thick enough skin or a secure enough ego to take feedback.
And splurging? Would you say the same thing when you serve bacon to a jewish person? a milkshake to someone with lactose intolerance? a chocolate cake to an anorexic? a penis to a virgin? have some freakin respect for her choice.
She was horribly rude. If you have special requirements, but someone has gone to the time and trouble of cooking for you, you eat what you can and POLITELY explain why you can’t eat the other.
She acted like a spoiled child, flight did not deserve that.
Mith, flight asked her ahead of time whether she had any special dietary needs. She could have said she was on a diet, and he would have respected her choice. Even if she hadn’t done that beforehand, she could have said, “I’m so sorry, I should have said I was watching my weight,” and as he seems like a sweet guy, I’m sure he would have respected her choice then, too.
But she was rude. Respect is a two-way thing, mon amie.
And yes… a “penis to a virgin?” As support for your point, that’s… well, I won’t go into it, it’s self-evident.
flight, honey, I’m obviously not on a diet (as evidenced by this threadhttp://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=177463) so…
baby, you can cook for me anytime!!!
Personally, I think the rude party here is flight. He swaggers in here, bragging of making a dessert with a sauce made of ice cream, and selfishly does not post the recipe. I am offended.
flight asked her if there “was anything she had a problem with” and she said no. If she had said that she preferred low calorie, or was careful about what she ate or something to that effect, he probably would have followed up on it to determine the best thing to prepare. She gave him carte blanche, and she shouldn’t have been rude when he made something she thought had too many calories. If she does have a specific health problem (recovering anorexic, bulimic or complusive overeater etc. ) I can see that it might be embarassing to admit it (though it shouldn’t be, they are just illnesses after all), but if she able to be so vocal about her disapproval of what was prepared, she should be equally vocal about telling the preparing what she needs to avoid.
If you can’t make your eating preferences clear, you need to be polite about what you are served. I’m a picky eater (basically, I eat like an 8 year old from middle America --not too spicy, not too exotic) so if someone is going to make dinner for me, I let them know that Thai or Mexican food will be wasted on me. If I show up at a dinner party and find that the food is hot and spicy, I take very small portions and drink lots of water while I eat. I do not make a scene and tell the cook I’d rather eat processed food!
You can be honest and still be polite. And you can recover gracefully from an initial slip. For example: she sees flight pouring in a bunch of cream and, without thinking gasps 'do you know how many calories are in there?" flight denies knowing. Date regains her composure and says–lightly, mind you–" A lot, and I really watch how many calories I consume, but you’re so sweet to be cooking for me, it’s alright. I am just going to have a small portion though, just a taste really, I hope that’s okay."
Now, flight’s pride at cooking may be wounded, but this was to be a romantic dinner, so his romantic leanings will most likely make him a bit more forgiving. She’s honest, and doesn’t have to eat food (or much of it) that she thinks is too fattening, and flight learns an important fact about the girl.
Thanks for all the replies everyone.
birdgirl, she is mildly obsessive compulsive. On the tests they administer for these sort of things (she is a psych grad student) she falls just short.
auntie em, I think that the candy bar comment was a slip even though she did feel that way. I mentioned this incident to her as one of the reasons I am none to fond of the idea of cooking for her (there are several) and she told me she had felt bad about the comment though she never apologized.
Mith, She does not have an eating disorder or some traumatic food event in her life. Hell, she doesn’t even work out much at all. I suggested several times that she come to the gym with me and therefore be able to have a little more at dinner, but she never would. It also was not a point of her not liking it. If she thought it was crap and just could not bear to have another bite I would be embarrased about being a lousy cook, but not upset at her. She refused to even taste it. And yes, I did make something that she would eat (spaghetti) and even came up with a desert idea that she could have (a mixture of pomegranite seeds, chopped fresh coconut, strawberries and grapes with champagne). I was pissed at her unwillingness to try new things and her rudeness.
tdn, I don’t have the recipe with me but it is in the Williams Sonoma cookbook (great cookbook) and is easy and heavenly. It was a precursor to modern day chocolate mouse. Enjoy.