Signs of aging

I bought my first Value Pack of sympathy cards today (one dozen with a generic message).

Oooh… wince.

Bending down to do up your shoe laces and thinking ‘now what else can I do while I’m down here’

Accidentally tucking one’s breastages into one’s jeans.

That child I used to babysit? Has his own children now and wants to know if I can sit for them…

weeps copiously

I hope you held up the line while counted your change… and put it in this.

When, as a woman, you heave a sigh of relief that your beard is now turning grey, and isn’t quite so noticeable. :eek:

Dad? Is that you??

My effing neck. The rest of me looks okay, but I’m starting to get that crepey, chicken neck thing. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

I guess the good news (I’m one of those tiresome peole who’s always looking for the bright side) is that my looks are going just as my husband’s eyesight is going.

When you compare the quality and frequency of naps with others.

I can’t even bend down to do my shoelaces. Some new guttage appeared overnight that prevents easy access to my feet.

Damn it. I do this. Sigh…

(and my naps have been pretty crappy lately)

I mentioned this in an earlier thread on the same subject, but I still think it’s a winner.

One day, a took a dump in the morning, got a blowjob in the afternoon, and in the evening found myself thinking, “man, that was great dump.”

That’s hilarious!

The faint (very faint, extremely faint, no one could possibly notice them but me) appearance of age spots on my hands.

It’s been a year and it totally freaks me out.

Reading glasses, and a touch of arthritis in my knuckles. Nothing major, but I’m still a young 44 at the moment. I’ll get back to you in another 20 years.

When you no longer know who the hell anyone on the magazine covers is anymore.

“Jessica’s dating Mayer? Isn’t Jessica Walter a little young for Louis B. Mayer?”

When you don’t know who the hell anyone is in popular music… and you don’t care.

When getting up less than three times to pee during the night is a really good night.

Oh, yes. I’ve just noticed one on each hand. One might be a freckle (if I tell myself it’s a freckle, then it’s a freckle, dammit!), but the one is definitely an age spot. It’s very, very faint, and I’m sure I’m the only one who can see it, but I was very careful about sunscreen this summer, and I even bought some cream that’s supposed to make them fade.

And I’m only 41!