If I’m nervous I giggle a lot, which either means I like you, or you’re making me uncomfortable. How’s that for mixed signals?
When I’m into someone, though, I definitely flirt. I’m pretty sarcastic, though, so I could see how my flirting or banter might just be construed as being witty/sarcastic rather than flirty.
I’ve heard that subconsciously women will touch you, look at you a certain way, play with their hair, or try to draw attention to their mouth (playing with a straw while drinking, biting a pen, etc.). I’m sure I’ve been guilty of doing these things, but I generally don’t notice if I’m doing them. So for me, I think it’s more a nervous or natural behavior rather than something intentional that says “I want you”.
However, if I like someone enough I will say things that make it clear to them that I’m interested. Like saying we should hang out sometime, or if they say something they’re doing and I say “oh, that sounds fun”, or “I’d love to do something like that” that generally means “please extend an invite if you want me to come along”.
The other day – Valentine’s Day, no less – I was in a really cool bookstore. There was an amazingly beautiful woman sitting down in the stacks reading something. I was looking at some books kind of near there, and decided to say hi. She looked up and gave me a big flirty hi back. I said that I loved the store and she said “me too.” I then started to walk away. As I did so, I looked in her gorgeous eyes and noticed that she was not breaking eye contact. Like, at all. She almost fell over backwards to maintain eye contact. Instead of stopping and introducing myself, I just kept going.
That’s when everything slowed down to extreme slow motion. I pulled out my gun, pointed it down, pulled the trigger, and watched the bullet slowly spiral downwards towards my foot. And I thought to myself “And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
I went back a few minutes later to see if she was still there, but she wasn’t.
And to think, she could have given me the best VD I’ve ever had.
I would caution against the whole touching thing. Sure some women will touch you if they’re interested. But let’s be honest, there are a lot of women out there who are just tactile creatures that have a impulsive habit of touching people to get a point across.
Anyway, here are some good indicators:
Crosses her legs towards you.
Applies make up on in front of you. or maybe when you step away to the restroom and when you come back she putting on the finishing touches. (hope that makes sense)
Watch her hands, are they busy? Unless she’s using them to text away on her cell phone; this is good.
Over the top emotional responses to trivial things you’ve said or done. Even angry responses are a good indicator.
When I first went out with my wife, she told me she had to meet a friend at 9:00. At 8:00 she called the friend to say she couldn’t make it. Even I figured that one out.
I have a situation at work where for about a month, the girl in question (who I am training), when I’m at her desk, wraps her arm around mine, puts her hand on mine while I’m using the mouse, wraps her fingers in mine for a second or so, and pushes her knee into mine. If she comes to my desk she often runs her fingers in a circle on my arm while asking me stuff. The other day, when there was just the two of us in the office she inadvertantly (?) pushed her boobs up against my arm, and later wrapped both hands around my forearm, and then got a pen and wrote “I am jjimm ” on my it. She’s also invited me to go with her and a female coworker to see a movie (a chick flick) this week.
Normally, I would interpret this only one way, but in this circumstance she’s about 20 years younger than me, extremely fit, and involved with someone.
I have been completely passive about the whole thing, for professional reasons as well as moral ones, though the other day, experimentally, I gently held the crook of her arm for an extended period, and she didn’t shy away from me.
Is this is just that she’s really tactile? Or is what is happening, in fact, what I think is happening…?
ETA: for the sake of honesty, I will admit that I’m enjoying the hell out of it, whatever it is.
A particular type of touching that is very often flirtatious is “grooming” touching, such as plucking lint from your clothes or adjusting your collar.
If the woman is twirling her own hair that may be a sign, although some women do just have a habit of twirling their hair.
If the woman laughs a lot at all your jokes and this is not the reaction you usually get, she’s probably flirting. You didn’t just get funnier all of a sudden.
ETA: Many women will quietly but deliberately place themselves near a man they find attractive. One obviously shouldn’t assume that any woman who happens to be in the vicinity is interested, but if the same woman seems to keep popping up or if a woman comes over and stands by you and keeps looking at you then she may intentionally be trying to make it easy for you to make a move. (Not truly “the first move”, since she’s already made her first move, but the first overt move.) Of course if your move is rebuffed then you should be a gentleman and move on to someone else, but there are times when a woman doesn’t “just happen” to be standing by you.
Seriously. I have two female friends in particular who are extremely touchy, and will put their hands on the center of your chest just to make a point or get your attention, or grab your arm in conversation just to emphasize that they’re interested in what you’re saying. I’m also positive that they’re not hitting on me, because they do it a) to EVERYONE and b) in front of their boyfriends.
A better metric might be that if a girl touches you more than she touches other people.
She might also stop touching you like she touches other people, avoid your gaze and start speaking in short, concise sentences. Her giant crush has made her super self-conscious! Isn’t love grand?
I had actually heard the opposite, that if a woman puts on make-up in front of you it is a sign that they are not interested in you. The logic behind this was that make-up is all about illusion, and if a guy sees you putting more on he knows that what he is seeing is not real. So if a woman chooses to do that in front of you it means that she doesn’t care whether you think her look is real or fake.
I am open to other interpretations, I just don’t know what they would be.
” on my it. She’s also invited me to go with her and a female coworker to see a movie (a chick flick) this week.