AQA- I think your method is wonderful and should be duplicated in some way or form at least once by a guy who doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere with what he has tried.
my signals are:
I ask more questions about them- or what they excel at (I am so out of control crazy for intelligent/nerdy men- gets me hot)
Respond appropriately to their pop references as it would apply to my beliefs (boo and hiss star trek- which instantly cancels many intelligent men, rock out to their air guitar if its a band we both like)
Hmm, there’s a woman at work that I’ve never really had a conversation with, who I don’t work with directly (she’s in another department), and that I don’t really know, who I think is interested in me. Whenever I walk past her while she’s outside smoking she always says ‘Hi Badtz’ (or rather, my real name) and smiles at me, and she doesn’t do this with just everyone. I catch her looking at me a lot too. I guess she picked up on some vibes I sent her way several months ago, I thought she was cute, and considered asking her out but never did, then I got wrapped up in another relationship for a few months.
I have read that the absentminded gesture of picking a piece of lint off of someone’s jacket or sweater is a sign of interest and is rather primal – similar to the grooming that apes do for each other.
I turn into a giggling giddy idiot. But, men being what they are, they still fail to see that.
A cruel trick of God’s I think. You just know he’s laughing his butt off at we stupid humans.
Drives me nuts though, my boyfriend and I were good friends for almost 2 and a half years before he asked me out. I had found him attractive and would have definitely pursued him had I thought I was remotely in the running.
Since I’m a lot older than he is, I figured that it had likely never crossed HIS mind. In fact, I guess I’m pretty much “clueless” when it comes to “does he like me” too.
If he hadn’t casually asked me if I’d like to go see a movie, we’d probably still be “just friends”.
I’ll start fumbling for words, and leave sentences unfinished. I’m usually quite articulate. I stop making eye contact. And when talking to friends, I mention the other person’s name way too often.
My usual approach is to do exactly what Medea’s Child recommends. Unfortunately, this is liable to be interpreted as “I just want to be friends.”
I was talking about this (on a date) just tonight; the entire system of “dating” is bizarrely unnatural. You’re supposed to go out and fake romantic sentimentality or something with someone you hardly know? Or at least that’s how I understand it. I’m no good at this stuff at all.
This evening, my date and I went to see The Matrix: Revolutions and spent the entire time leaning over and whispering smartass cracks about how stupid the movie was, then covering our mouths and giggling. I really like this gal.
If you let your fingers get that close to me, dont be surprised if I grab them and do terrible, terrible things to them. Actually, do be surprised, that’s the fun part.
-Major eye contact
-Don’t look at her boobs
-the odd casual touch of her hands
-Don’t talk too much
-Be well-shaven
-Wash daily
-Be gallant but not too much.
-Use minor sexual innuendo but not too dirty.
If I really, really like someone then I tend to go beet red, my hands will start to shake and I have to avoid eye contact at all times.
That tends to wear off after a couple of weeks though, and I’ll go into sarcasm mode, which is very similar to pulling pigtails.
It has worked in the past - it seems that when I am bitter and insulting, people are endeared to me.
FYI, I’m in week two of being beet red, hands trembling and lack of eye contact. I’ll keep you updated, but I’m very keen on taking Giraffe’s approach.
SJSB, I’m the same way, though I skip to the sarcastic portion far sooner, and I too have noticed it works. I think they find that little touch of asshole endearing.
Heh, if I like a guy, then Im like you SJSB, I turn beet red and start to shake. One thing I liked though about my current guy is that when he sees that, then it means extra cuddle time!
Other than the blushing and shaking, I get really shy and giggly.
But putting your hand on the small of my back? Major turn-off. Major, major turn-off. Just hold my hand and the guiding thing is done! Opening doors is sweet too, but not to be taken to extreme (opens every door we come to, takes door out of your hand and ushers you in, exc.) :smack:
Giraffe’s approach sounds nice though, simple, easy, and to the point. I need to try it one day.
If I like someone, I tend to convince myself of the following:
They don’t really like me at all
Any signals I get from them aren’t really signals at all, but I’m mis-interpreting things.
I somehow manage to convince myself that they hate me and find me really unattractive.
Then, I sit at work at weekends, feeling depressed because I’m working on a weekend, and that no one fancies me, even if I fancy them. Of course, the only way a guy finds out if I fancy him is if we’re both drunk. That way I can deny everything when sober. I’m not really very expressive with affairs of the heart. Explains a lot really.
