[ul]
[li]You’re driving along, and someone cuts in front of you. You shout something that includes the words “felching” and “goat”.[/li]
[li]You’re at work, getting a drink at the water cooler. A colleague tells you about how she been getting headaches recently. You’re about to offer her some advice, but you first say “IANAD”, spelling out each letter.[/li]
[li]You’re walking along when an SUV parks up alongside. You get talking to the owner about his vehicle. Within 10 minutes you are accusing him of supporting Osama Bin Laden, and within 20 minutes the argument turns into a fist fight.[/li]
[li]Your car breaks down, and you can’t work out what the problem is. You call out a mechanic, and explain "I think the hamsters may be on strike…”[/li]
[li]A new guy has just started at your work. You say to him "Welcome to Acme Corp. Lurk a while…”[/li]
[li]You have a nightmare in which the words “Gateway timeout” appear on a monitor screen. You awake in a cold sweat with visions of drowning hamsters going through your head.[/li]
[li]You start calling your partner “S.O.”, and you start calling your real life friends “Dopers”.[/li][/ul]
How about: you’re working away on a document in Word and type in [ b ] and [ /b ] to bold your text, then mutter that the hamsters aren’t working, before sheepishly deleting? (happened to me the other day).
You are talking to your SO on the phone, trip him up in conversation, and yell out " Ha ! W H O O S H E D ya!" or “Gotcha ya!”
Funnily enough, I do sometimes make a “Whoooosh!” sound if I don’t get something. I also make like an airplane with my hand and swing it over my head… I don’t do this when I’m by myself you understand… wow I’m weird! 
I often find myself thinking (and almost saying): YMMV when I disagree with someone at work. 
I look around at other faculty and think “Cow-orkers.”
I don’t make the “Whoooooosh” sound, but I DO make the "airplane over the head " thing (also NOT when I am alone…what, you think I am CRAZY? :D)
I didn’t realize this was weird…I do it all the time. Not when I am alone, but…people seem to “Get” it…so how can it be weird?
Oh, I think I “get” it…people THINK I am weird, but they are being kind enough not to TELL me. Well, at least they “get” what I mean.
Which, if you think about it, makes THEM weird, TOO.
You first find out about a national tragedy on the Dope.
True story:
I went out to eat the other night, and the restaurant had a 10-15 minute wait. When they asked for my name, I replied "Cecil Adams. Right afterwards, I had to explain to everyone else where the name came from.
I was at my cuz’n’s house. She got up and asked if anyone else in the room wanted anything from the kitchen. I said, “When come back, bring pie.” She looked at me with concern.
I was ‘discussing’ something with a friend. He made a bold statement and I said, “Cite?”
I had al conversation where the term “AAVE” actually came up. I brought it up.
My monitor (no, not the lizard) has coffee stains on it. You know why.
I watch the Trek threads more than I watch any Star Trek show.
“I’m sorry. The administrators will only let me say one thing every 60 seconds.”
I love this place. The phrase “too much time on the Dope” does… not… compute.
If you yell “fucko off” at someone.
I’ve actually done that.
I did that last Thursday.
I asked for a cite from someone last night. Granted, it was fellow doper Kabbes who was over for dinner, but still.
You have an insatiable urge to lick balls.
You laugh at CocaCola signs.
You marry a Doper.
Not only that, but your best IRL friends are people you’ve met on the SDMB.
When writing out a grocery list, the third item is “Hi, Opal!”