Here’s the headline for a story on an Internet news site today:
Simon Booked for Hitting Racing Sausage
What do YOU think this story is about?
Make your guess and then click here to find out how close you were.
Actually, I already know what it’s about since it was on the news this morning, complete with video of the assault. (Slow news day, obviously.) That was just soooo wrong. I hope he does time.
Well, heavens! Somebody had to show some concern about that uber-odd spectacle. Weird, wobbly wankers waggling their meat in front of thousands of fans (well, not that many, considering where it was.) Well, it’s just twisted!
Go to Fox news.com and view the video of the incident. Looks to me like the Itlalian sausage leaned towards the Pirates dugout and was already going down as the check swing hit the fluffy part of the constume.
I laughed heartily. At first, then I was concerned about the gal in the outfit when she didn`t get right up.
I was so wrong – I assumed Simon Cowell had freaked out after getting caught in a gay nightclub by some paparazzi. The significance of the “racing” part of the headline was a little unclear, I’ll admit.
You know, I’ve heard a lot of euphemisms before, but never “batting the bratwurst”
I know, I know, it was the Italian sausage, but come on, it was easy.
I heard on NPR, the county prosecutor is not going to pursue the case. After all, the sausages often fall down during the race, even without outside interference.
Darn it, I just knew someone would make a masturbation joke before I could.
I saw the video on Fox Sports Midwest tonight. The report said that the lady in the costume acknowledged that Simon meant no harm.
But still, a grown man should knoe better. That was just stupid.
And I should know how to spell “know.”