Help! I need your favorite Krusty the Klown one-liners, dialogues and anecdotes. Never mind why, I just do! Yes, it’s got something to do with working in a prison. No, I can’t say more yet.
QtM
One of my favorites. When he has his clown school and Homer is riding the tiny bike, teh pant leg gets caught in the chain and unravels his pants so he’s riding naked on the bike. Krusty says to his assistant…“Uh, Burn that seat”.
When he’s trying to quit smoking and he has patches all over his body, “Hey, there’s a spot on my ass that doesn’t have one yet.”
“Hang on kid, I’m trying to get a tack out of my head”
When he’s on the phone being recruited to perform for a charity event: “What’s the pay? Nothing?! I can make more than that takin’ a schvitz!”
Appearing in Bart’s nightmare during “Treehouse of Horror VI”: “Ooooh boy. Don’t dream about me no more, kid.”
Dang. I saw this thread and realized it was why God put me on this earth … only to see that KidCharlemagne’s link had all eight of my favorite Krustyisms.
Oh, heck with it.
“Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down years ago!”
“So, Krusty, let me get this straight … you took all of your money and bet AGAINST the Harlem Globetrotters?”
“They were due!! The game was fixed! The Globetrotters used a LADDER, for Pete’s sake! He’s just holding out the ball! TAKE IT!”
It’s kind of long, but…
“You know what holiday really gets to me? Thanksgiving! What the hell is this all about? Paying tribute to a bunch of dead guy who dressed up in those frilly white outfits and ate turkey? I don’t call that memorable, I call that something-I-might-do-if-I-was-drunk-enough. If you’re going to have a holiday for them, why don’t you have one for me too? Krusty day. July first. Kind of like a second New Years, except there’s no eggnog, no ball, and none of that old angsine crap. Just a bunch of clowns drunk off their asses.”
shrugs I like it.
[sub]I’m probably going to mangle this one…[/sub]
"It was so good, Hendrix said he almost plotzed- His exact words!
What about the Glug Glug and the Vroom Vroom and the Thud Thud ::makes finger motion of running over a guy::
Also:
Little girl approaches Krusty:
Girl: Hi, my name is Sophie
Krusty: Hey, good luck with that, kid.
On why he voted for Mr. Burns’s movie at the Springfield Film Festival: “It moved me…TO A BIGGER HOUSE!..Oops, I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud.”
Krusty singing to prison inmates during a live show:
I slugged some jerk in Tahoe.
They gave me one to three.
My high-priced lawyer sprung me
On a technicality.
I'm just visiting Springfield Prison,
I get to sleep at home tonight.[Makes as if to hand still-smoking Little Miss Springfield gear to Lisa] Here you go…Hoo hoo hoo hah hah. Here you go…Hoo hoo hoo hah hah… [is himself struck by lightning]
I deserved that.
Hey-HEY!
It’s a classic Krusty line.
My favorite is the Krusty Brand Home Pregancy test*.
[sub]*May Cause Birth Defects[/sub]
Agh, how could I forget . . . when Lisa was in the studio recording her lines for the “Lisa Lionheart” doll–
Krusty: [barging in with cue cards] All right, you poindexters, let’s get this right!
One: “Hey, hey, kids, I’m Talking Krusty.”
Two: “Hey, hey, here comes Slideshow Mel” – again – “Here
comes Sideshow Mel”. “Sideshow Mel”.
Three: [does a Krusty laugh]
Budda-bing, budda-boom, I’m done. Learn from a professional, kid.
[walks out, squeals his tires away]
Techie: OK, Krusty, we are ready to roll any – what the…?
Krusty: I, personally, will spit in every 50th burger!
Homer: I like those odds!
The Krusty See-n-Say: “S” is for “shiksa”! S-H-I … uh, I think there’s a “T” in there somewhere … ah, look it up!
“Was it a nice hat?”
“Oh, yeah!”
“OH MY GOD!!!”
“It wasn’t my fault, it was my perkadan addiction. You ask me, that stuff rots your brain! And now a word from our new sponsor… Perkadan! AH, CRAP!”
Or
“Itchy and Scratchy would like to be here, but they’re on the Gabbo show now. But we’ve got the next best thing: East Germany’s wacky cat and mouse team, worker and parasite!”
very incoherent communist propaganda plays
“Uh… What the hell was that?”
“They drove a dump truck of money to my house. I’m not made of stone.”