Troy Mclure: Hi this is Troy Mclure and I’m going to leave you with what we all came here to see…HARDCORE NUDITY!!
thats my buddy out sound 
Homer: Awwwwwww, I’m so thirsty for a beer I’m gonna go eat the dirt under the bleachers…
(Reporter asks Ranier Wolfcastle after seeing the latest McBain movie)
“Mr. Wolfcastle, how do you sleep at night?”
Ranier: " On a big matress, stuffed with money surrounded by many beautiful women."
On another episode
Ranier: My mighty heart is breaking, Maria, I’ll be in the humvee.
(Homer runs through the kitchen naked, passing Marge, Patty & Selma)
Patty: “There goes the last remaining shred of my heterosexuality.”
(Homer is being attacked by an evil Krusty the Klown doll)
Homer: “Bart’s doll has been trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me…”
(Homer as been abducted by the aliens Kang and Kodos)
Homer: “Alright let’s get it over with.”(turns around and bends over)
Kang: “Stop! We have reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us about your species.”
(Marge’s mother comes for Thanksgiving dinner
Mrs. Beauvier: “I’m old, and it’s hard for me to talk, so let me just say…Marge. You never do anything right.”
(Homer runs through the kitchen naked, passing Marge, Patty & Selma)
Patty: “There goes the last remaining shred of my heterosexuality.”
(Homer is being attacked by an evil Krusty the Klown doll)
Homer: “Bart’s doll has been trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me…”
(Homer as been abducted by the aliens Kang and Kodos)
Homer: “Alright let’s get it over with.”(turns around and bends over)
Kang: “Stop! We have reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us about your species.”
(Marge’s mother comes for Thanksgiving dinner
Mrs. Beauvier: “I’m old, and it’s hard for me to talk, so let me just say…Marge. You never do anything right.”
(Homer runs through the kitchen naked, passing Marge, Patty & Selma)
Patty: “There goes the last remaining shred of my heterosexuality.”
(Homer is being attacked by an evil Krusty the Klown doll)
Homer: “Bart’s doll has been trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me…”
(Homer as been abducted by the aliens Kang and Kodos)
Homer: “Alright let’s get it over with.”(turns around and bends over)
Kang: “Stop! We have reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us about your species.”
(Marge’s mother comes for Thanksgiving dinner
Mrs. Beauvier: “I’m old, and it’s hard for me to talk, so let me just say…Marge. You never do anything right.”
(Homer runs through the kitchen naked, passing Marge, Patty & Selma)
Patty: “There goes the last remaining shred of my heterosexuality.”
(Homer is being attacked by an evil Krusty the Klown doll)
Homer: “Bart’s doll has been trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me…”
(Homer as been abducted by the aliens Kang and Kodos)
Homer: “Alright let’s get it over with.”(turns around and bends over)
Kang: “Stop! We have reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us about your species.”
(Marge’s mother comes for Thanksgiving dinner
Mrs. Beauvier: “I’m old, and it’s hard for me to talk, so let me just say…Marge. You never do anything right.”
(Homer runs through the kitchen naked, passing Marge, Patty & Selma)
Patty: “There goes the last remaining shred of my heterosexuality.”
(Homer is being attacked by an evil Krusty the Klown doll)
Homer: “Bart’s doll has been trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me…”
(Homer as been abducted by the aliens Kang and Kodos)
Homer: “Alright let’s get it over with.”(turns around and bends over)
Kang: “Stop! We have reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us about your species.”
(Marge’s mother comes for Thanksgiving dinner
Mrs. Beauvier: “I’m old, and it’s hard for me to talk, so let me just say…Marge. You never do anything right.”
(Homer runs through the kitchen naked, passing Marge, Patty & Selma)
Patty: “There goes the last remaining shred of my heterosexuality.”
(Homer is being attacked by an evil Krusty the Klown doll)
Homer: “Bart’s doll has been trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me…”
(Homer as been abducted by the aliens Kang and Kodos)
Homer: “Alright let’s get it over with.”(turns around and bends over)
Kang: “Stop! We have reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us about your species.”
(Marge’s mother comes for Thanksgiving dinner
Mrs. Beauvier: “I’m old, and it’s hard for me to talk, so let me just say…Marge. You never do anything right.”
My all-time favorite, from Mr. Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk :
“Ach, du Lieber, Raccoons!”
Also, from the Fallout Boy episode :
Movie Director : “Say, ‘Up and Atom!’”
Rainer W. : “Up and at them!”
from Rainer in the same episode,
“Auggh! The goggles do nothing!”
And my favorites about the monkeys (poss. some paraphrasing here) :
Homer : “He used to be dumb as an ape, but now he’s smart as a monkey!”
when asked if he ever thinks about the future, Homer replies :
“You mean, like will apes ever be our masters?”
Homer : So, boy, what’d you learn in Sunday School?
Bart : Well, for one thing, that apes can’t get into heaven.
Homer : What, those cute little monkeys? That’s terrible!
A big dumb gorilla out in the jungle I could see, but
what about those who live among us, smoke cigars and
ride bicycles?
panama jack
Hey, if I change my .sig tomorrow, this line would just go away.
Homer, watching the Three Stooges:
Moe is their leader.
Comicbook Store Guy:
Please do not lean on the counter. It contains a very rare Mary Worth, in which she advises a friend to commit suicide.
Ranier Wolfcastle:
In my latest movie, my son comes home from college, and I am horrified to discover he has become a neeeeerd.
Homer, counseling Bart on whether to take the money or the elephant:
But Bart, if we had $10,000 we’d be millionaires. We could buy all sorts of useful things, like love.
Dr. Nick:
Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too?
Superintendent: The Aurora Borealis?
Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent: At this time of year?
Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent: In this part of the country?
Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent: Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent: Can I see it?
Skinner: No.
German guy, yelling to Bart and Grandpa, who are hugging:
Hey, funboys, get a room!
cracks his knuckles Let’s do this thing…
This is the one I have on my ‘user online’ sound,
Homer:“To start press any key. Where’s the any key?!”
Homer:“Bart, a woman is a lot like a um, refrigerator. They’re 6 feet tall, cold, they make…ice…”
The episode Bart discovered his own comet…
Lisa:“Wow, I can’t believe the very toxic cloud I’ve picketted against is the thing that saved us all.”
Bart:“What really suprises me is that, this is EXACTLY what dad said would happen.”
Homer:“I know kids, I’m scared too”
The Australia Episode…
Lisa:“I’m suprised he was able to write so legibly on his own butt”
Homer:“My bologna has a first name, it’s H O M E R, my bologna has a second name, it’s H O M E R”
Bart and Milhouse discussing religion…
Bart:“How can someone with glasses so thick be so blind”
Zombie episode…
Homer:“Oh no, Barney, not you too.”
Barney:“I’m not a zombie, but hey, when in Rome.”
“Next on Wings…oh, who cares.”
I have spoken!!!
cracks his knuckles Let’s do this thing…
This is the one I have on my ‘user online’ sound,
Homer:“To start press any key. Where’s the any key?!”
Homer:“Bart, a woman is a lot like a um, refrigerator. They’re 6 feet tall, cold, they make…ice…”
The episode Bart discovered his own comet…
Lisa:“Wow, I can’t believe the very toxic cloud I’ve picketted against is the thing that saved us all.”
Bart:“What really suprises me is that, this is EXACTLY what dad said would happen.”
Homer:“I know kids, I’m scared too”
The Australia Episode…
Lisa:“I’m suprised he was able to write so legibly on his own butt”
Homer:“My bologna has a first name, it’s H O M E R, my bologna has a second name, it’s H O M E R”
Bart and Milhouse discussing religion…
Bart:“How can someone with glasses so thick be so blind”
Zombie episode…
Homer:“Oh no, Barney, not you too.”
Barney:“I’m not a zombie, but hey, when in Rome.”
“Next on Wings…oh, who cares.”
I have spoken!!!
cracks his knuckles Let’s do this thing…
This is the one I have on my ‘user online’ sound,
Homer:“To start press any key. Where’s the any key?!”
Homer:“Bart, a woman is a lot like a um, refrigerator. They’re 6 feet tall, cold, they make…ice…”
The episode Bart discovered his own comet…
Lisa:“Wow, I can’t believe the very toxic cloud I’ve picketted against is the thing that saved us all.”
Bart:“What really suprises me is that, this is EXACTLY what dad said would happen.”
Homer:“I know kids, I’m scared too”
The Australia Episode…
Lisa:“I’m suprised he was able to write so legibly on his own butt”
Homer:“My bologna has a first name, it’s H O M E R, my bologna has a second name, it’s H O M E R”
Bart and Milhouse discussing religion…
Bart:“How can someone with glasses so thick be so blind”
Zombie episode…
Homer:“Oh no, Barney, not you too.”
Barney:“I’m not a zombie, but hey, when in Rome.”
“Next on Wings…oh, who cares.”
I have spoken!!!
Marge asks Homer if he will go to the ballet, and while he thinks about what the ballet is, a thought cloud appears above Homer’s head with a bear wearing a hat and driving a miniature car in circles with circus music playing. This makes him agree to go. Later, Homer is telling Lenny that he is going to the ballet, and Lenny says, “Oh, you’re going to see the bear in the little car, eh?”
“I am the head of the quick-e-mart. You may ask me three questions.”
Homer: “You’re the head of the quick-e-mart?”
Head of Q-e-M: “Yes.”
Homer: “Really?”
Head of Q-e-M: “Yes.”
Homer: “Really?”
Head of Q-e-M: “Thank you, come again.”
My all time favorite is
“I come from Can-a-da, they think I’m slow, eh?”
And
“My bologna has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R…”
And
(To the tune of the Flintstones)
“Homer, Homer Simpson, he’s the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he’s about to hit a chestnut tree AH!”
I’d like to appoligize for the previous posts. It’s my first time on a message board. I feel so dirty =)
But here’s a new one to make up for it
Homer:“You don’t snuggle with Max Powers, you strap on and hang on for the ride”
Audience member: We could vote for a third-party candidate.
Kodos: Go ahead! THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY!
Homer: Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals (except the weasel).
Mr Burns: Oil doesn’t belong in the hands of Betsy Bleedingheart and Maynard G Muskievote!
Millhouse: let’s dress up like women!
Bart: No way!
Millhouse: What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll like it?
(Bart and Millhouse are dressed in Marge’s clothes and jumping on the bed when Homer walks in)
Homer: Is there something fruity going on here?
Bart: No, just drunk.
Homer: Okay. (he walks out)
Is it just me, or has Ralph been reduced to a state of mental retardation?
Reduced? Was there ever a time when he wasn’t comically retarded?
(Homer is stuck on the defective monorail and Marge is on the radio):
Marge: There’s someone here who says he can help you.
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist!
Homer: Batman’s a scientist?
Marge It’s not Batman.