Since Subtle Hints Don't Work...NO I DON'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY!!!!

Ok,fuckstain,this one’s for you.

Because we have been friends for over a year,I have tried to be tactful. I am not attracted to you in any way,shape or form. I have made that very clear.

When you started hanging out at my cube to the point of interfering with me doing my job,I asked you nicely to stop.

When you started bringing me gifts, I gave them back with a polite “Thanks but I can’t accept this.”

When you started finding excuses to touch me ::shudder:: I asked you not to.

But yesterday you finally crossed the line.

I was having a PRIVATE conversation. How dare you eavesdrop on it and then have the balls to ask “Who’s that? Is that the guy you met online?” How is it any of your business who I talk to or how I talk to them?

Then I get your epic letter in my mailbox today…and here’s my response:

Yes, I know you’re “right here and available” but that doesn’t change my mind at all. I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU!!

Yes, we have (note the tense,Sparky) been friends. A true friend though would recognize that I’m not interested in anything beyond friendship and would not keep doing things that obviously make me uncomfortable.

And don’t even start giving me your opinion ofSP. You don’t know him,you have no right to judge him and news flash-he makes me happy. A friend would realize that.

Just leave me the fuck alone. Don’t talk to me,email me,write me notes,or give me sad puppy faces from when you pass my cube. It’s not going to change my mind.
[sub] And yes, I realize the rich irony of me posting about not wanting male attention.[/sub]

Have you tried the beating about the head and shoulders with the Clue Stick[su]TM[/sup]? I find this works wonders in most cases.

If that doesn’t work, try the 2x4 Upside the Head method. Never fails on that pesky male stubbornness. :slight_smile:

** Arden **

You know I’m a wrestling fan…so at this point I’m thinking how much fun it would be to hit him over the head with a chair. Repeatedly.

I’d follow up with the Stone Cold Stunner but then I’d have to touch him and…ughh…he’d like that way too much.
I kmow I’m a big flirt but do I have to wear a sign that says “I’m just being friendly and this indicates no romantic/sexual interest on my part”?
This is so aggravating :frowning:

Yes, unfortunately. Some of us need that sort of subtle hint. Especially when we can’t think straight due to our being overwhelmed by your sheer magnificence. But it sounds like you’ve already communicated a lack of interest to the guy. What’s his problem?

Ah yes, the boys who make you glad you have caller ID.

Sounds like you might be halfway to having your very own stalker, hardygirl…tread softly.


I, personally, have found the Cast Iron Skillet to the Head method to be most effective. You can really get some momentum going on those puppies. Plus, it’s weighted effectively.

DO remember to season your cast iron skillet properly before use.

Actually, what was used against me was what I call “The E-mail Tactic”. Basically, take all you said, put it in an E-mail, and end with “We shouldn’t ever speak to each other again.”

Now, there’s a girl out there who’s free of the SPOOFE’s lecherousness… and there was much rejoicing.

Putting aside all my willingness to flirt with you unendingly on MPSIMS —

I believe that when a person obstinately refuses to acknowledge that he/she is unwelcome in any context… he/she definitely deserves all the unkindness he/she might get!!

So, I say

Go hardygrrl, kick his ass!!!

Hell yeah… it only took me a few days to realize this. It’s not TOO difficult.

Hardygrrl, my wife has/had the same problem. Before we were married, she complained of exactly the same thing, that guys she wasn’t interested thinking she was. This has even continued after we married AND WHEN THEY EVEN KNOW SHE IS MARRIED. (the curse of being married to an attractive woman I guess, poor me :wink: ).

After observing this and a friend having the same problem I have this observation:

Most women are cool or downright cold. When you talk with them, they don’t smile, laugh or be friendly. They probably do this subconsiously to avoid guys pursuing them. As more evidence, younger women (I’m 36) seem much more friendly, smile more, joke then they used to probably since I’m now ‘safe’. My wife and you, Hardygrrl, are exceptions. She/you joke, talk, laugh and are friendly. This gets missintrepreted by some men as interest since they do not get this signals from most women so they truely think you are interested and you have to bat them on the head hard for them to realize you’re not.

There was a guy on our bowling league that kept hitting on my wife. She told me about it but refused to tell me who it was. She was very frustrated since she told him straight out that she was happily married but he was convinced she REALLY was interested. It finally bothered her so much that she finally told me who he was with the promise I wouldn’t do anything physically to him and I was FLOORED. He was not a ‘loser’ and he didn’t have a rep of doing this kind of thing. We actually talked (not ‘talked’ :wink: ) and he was convinced she was interested in him because she was friendly and smiled at him. Well, she is friendly and smiles at everyone.

My advice? Do what you did and cut off all contact as possible. It’s hard to take that the wrong way! My wife now does that - tells them she’s happily married and if they do it a second time, will not speak to them again.



So, this means you really do like him and are just playing “hard to get?” :wink:

And why are you telling US when you should be telling HIM? No, SUBTLETY DOES NOT WORK ON GUYS!!!* Tape that message to your mirror because it is simply something you have to learn. No, things don’t improve with age. Guys are ETERNAL optimists, from birth past death. You may say the glass is not only empty, but it has been left in a hot oven for several hours so there isn’t a single water molecule left on it. He will look at that very same glass and observe how much room there is in it to fill with your love.

    • Note my first use on this board of SIX exclamation points. I really mean it.

A therapist I used to see told me the same thing that everyone else seems to be saying- that men are dense when I come to “signals”, ie the body language that most women use. You have to be totally straight-forward and say “No. I am NOT interested IN YOU.” Because if you say, “I’m not interested”, or “I’m not interested in you right now”, they might think that that means they have a chance with you later. It sounds like you’ve done all the right things- refusing gifts, asking him not to touch you, etc. You should tell him exactly how you feel, that he has made you uncomfortable, that you think he crossed the line etc, preferably face-to-face, if that doesn’t work, you may have to get rude. Or use a blunt object. Good Luck!

After I got the previously mentioned epic letter in which he stated " a wonderful woman like you shouldn’t be pining for a man he’s never met face to face when there’s someone right here,available and who would make you happy."

I read that and when he came in went up to him and said…

I’m not interested in you in any romantic way. I will never be interested in you that way. You could bring me Jeff Hardy on a sliver platter,lightly oiled and my mind would not change. As for your opinion aboutSP, you don’t know him. You have no right to judge him. Yes for now we’re not together but he still makes me happy…in ways you never could. Don’t talk to me,email me,leave me notes,just leave me alone.

Then I blocked him from my work email address. Thank god he doesn’t have my hme email addresses or any of my phone numbers.

What about Jeff Hardy on a motorcycle, his shirt open, the wind blowing …

Ok, I gotta go now.

This is at work, right?

No wonder you’re not interested in him. He has the brains of a rotted turnip–and he isn’t using them.

Any verbal contact with him should be spoken in a clear voice loud enough (without “causing a scene”) to be heard by any number of fellow employees.
On his next occasion to interpose in your life, send him an e-mail (of which you will, of course, file a copy), explaining that he is persona non grata and that he is not to approach you again or you are going to HR with a complaint of harrassment.

If he does not get the “hint,” follow through on the promise.

What about Jeff Hardy on a motorcycle, his shirt open, the wind blowing …

Ok, I gotta go now. **


I had a picture of Jeff like that except with no shirt in my cube where only I could see it. Helped a lot on the bad calls. :slight_smile: But I had to take it down because apparently exposed male nipples are a BAD thing.

/end hijack/

Thanks for the tips tomndebb-I really don’t want to have to make this a public thing but if he pushes me I will.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing when I first read this. I have a lot of problems with sexual harrassment laws, as they can be so easily abused, but JHC by now if a guy doesn’t understand what is and what is not harrassment, then it’s his fault.

The way I see it, if you work with a woman and ask her out, and she sez “NO”, then that’s it. No more asking. If you ask again, it becomes harrassment. If you can’t handle it, pick up some of that poomtang pie outside of work.

Or go beat off. Otherwise, you’ll get your ass fired.

Now that Sparky’s out of the way, how you doin’?


It’s not your fault he’s focused on you. He doesn’t know you nor wants what is best for you. He only sees his own needs and feels his own feelings.
Does this sound familiar?
I said I have a bf. Why was I dating when HE was right here, ready to love me until the end of time? Wasn’t he good enough? I said No. What does HE have that I don’t? A Glock 19. Then I realize I don’t want to talk to him anymore, at all. I said if he didn’t leave, I’d call campus security. And I meant it. I was at work and he didn’t care about that at all. I felt like a really mean person, students are staring, not even pretending not to listen to this conversation. But another 3 months of “I don’t like you that way” was not what I wanted.
Be as brutal as neccessary, because he has labled his feelings with your image and you didn’t choose that, so you don’t have to play out his fantasy.