lol somehow i misread the title and thought it said “Stupid people… how do you cope” 
[sets aside bag of dealing with stupidity jokes darn]
Anywho, I’m sorry I don’t really know how to ease your mind, but I do think being single is a little better than coping with stupid people heh
I am 22, almost 23. I do not think of this as an old age. But seeing as how I had NEVER been in love, I had begun to worry that it was never going to happen. And then it did. And then he left. He wasn’t a bad guy. He didn’t drive fast or have a motorcycle. OK, so he had a couple tattoos and listened to loud music. I chalk that up more to mutual interests then to the “bad boy” theory. (ie: I have tattoos and listen to loud music.) I think of myself as a nice girl. I love kids and animals and I have been known to volunteer at the neighborhood kids’ club. I don’t spit on the street and I recycle.
The point is, nice girls want the same as everyone else: someone who has enough self-esteem so that we don’t have to constantly reassure them. If that is what we’re defining “bad boys” as, then OK. Sure. You’re right. But I really think a nice guy can have the self-esteem to not come across as emotionally needy. I know they can.
So anyway, he left. And for a while, I felt sorry for myself, until I realised that it was a real concern of mine that despite the fact that I had been in some fairly serious relationships, it was never ME who fell in love. I always was amused by the guys I was with, but always had the feeling that they cared more than I did. And I began to worry that maybe I was incapible of loving someone. And this guy proved that wrong. So instead of wallowing in self-pity because this guy I love lives three thousand miles away, and we’re not in a relationship at all, I celebrate the fact that I can love. And I trust that as long as I don’t self-isolate too much, I’ll probably find someone else. But one thing is for sure: I won’t find anyone else by wallowing, and I won’t find anyone else by whining that there ISN’T any available guys out there. Call me Pollyanna, but if you begin to give up, you’re pretty much ruining your chances of being seen as an available person. No one wants to date bitterness; no one wants to date desperation.
I think another aspect of supposed nice guys is the fact that they probably get easily discouraged. I would know, I was like this. The problem is that they get frustrated that they are unsuccessful at relationships even though they feel they are doing everything right on their end. The problem is, people are complicated, and there’s no formulaic way to get two people to like each other. Things happen- ultimately you cannot control how much somebody else likes you; you just have to work with how they feel.
I agree with Plain Jane in that I too am single, rarely have dated, realize I may stay single and yet don’t mind. I also don’t mind getting turned down either, something that inevitably happens (frequently sometimes). For me, I’ve found relationships can’t really be conciously forced- sometimes things fall into place favorably for me without me being really focused on it.
I never want to feel that I am desperate. I used to feel that way in high school, and it lead to a lot of problems. I’ve met quite a few girls lately whom I would have dated in a heartbeat 4 years ago but now a bit older and wiser I would see that even if they were crazy for me I still wouldn’t date them, because of negative qualities they had.
I’ve always resisted posting in threads like this, since my experience is so different than most people’s, but, what the hey.
A couple of years ago, I gave up. The details aren’t important, but I decided I was done trying to get a woman. Every time I’d made an effort, I’d end up feeling like an ass and regretting it. So I quit. I decided that even if I met a girl I thought I might like, I wasn’t going to do anything about it. She’d have to beat me over the head to get my attention. I knew that wasn’t at all likely to happen, and so far I’ve been right.
Anyway, it’s been interesting. I’ve learned to be happy alone. I’ve stopped seeing only two possibilities in life - alone and miserable or with someone and happy. You really don’t need someone in your life to be happy.
That’s been a valuable lesson. I’ve learned enough about myself that perhaps, in another year or three, I might even reverse my decision. But not anytime soon.
33 and single, here. I married at 21 and divorced the jerk at 28. I didn’t date very much before I got married and have had one relationship (with someone I had known for a hundred years) and no other dates since the divorce. It’s impossible to meet anyone. I’d really like to meet a “nice” guy (not a “doormat” - nice - those doormat types drive me crazy). I guess you could say the “old fashion” type. I’m an “old fashion” girl at heart, I just love it when a man holds a door for me or helps me into or out of a car or helps me with my coat - that kind of silly stuff. That’s it, really. I’m not overly concerned with looks or salary or anything like that. All I really want is a little romance and some good conversation. But, at my age, anyway, it seems men like that are non-existant.
That said, I’m perfectly comfortable being single and actually enjoy it most of the time. If I want cereal for dinner, by golly, there’s no one there to stop me :). A couple of my girlfriends and I didn’t know what we wanted to do one weekend so we hopped on a plane and went to Chicago, just for the heck of it. I know that I don’t need a man for anything, I can take care of myself - good job, good home, good friends. I have a full life without a boyfriend (there has got to be a better word “boyfriend” sounds so stupid when you’re in your 30s) but, it would be nice.