I’ll take it as a true story and declare that kid the winner of the Super Bowel.
My last c-scope was just a few weeks ago. Weighed myself before starting the prep at noon on Thursday, and again on Friday morning just before the reaming. Difference was 4 pounds, most of that weight obviously being water. The doctor told me four or five pounds is typical.
My very petite granddaughter - 6 yo at the time (She was still wearing size 4 clothing.), was at my house for the evening. She headed into the bathroom and all of a sudden yelled, “gramma I need some help”. So in I go, she said she needed help wiping. I get her off the pot and notice what’s inside of the toilet. It was a poop the size (length & diameter) of a pop can! How she got that out of her teeny butt, I have no idea. I could not believe my eyes. She looked at it and immediately called in her brother to have a look! I called to my husband, who said: “no that’s ok”. I said to him that he has to see this because otherwise, he would never believe it. So there all 4 of us were gazing down into the toilet. Even one of the dogs wandered in to see what was going on. She was actually pretty proud. She called it her big deuce.
Once when I was a kid, I created a very large specimen in the cat litter box. I then covered it up and waited for my brother to come scoop the box. (We had just recently gotten a new kitten). You should have heard the shrieks when he excavated that thing. It was indeed bigger than the cat. 
You know, this thread is missing lieu.
I once was feeling more than a little…stopped up. I had to do some hard manual labor later in the week and felt something finally give in my GI tract. I went to the bathroom and it felt like I was giving birth to a juvenile anaconda.
This was a large large toilet and, when I was done, I looked down and saw this monstrosity that I conservatively estimated at 7 feet long wrapped around the bowl several times. It took me 4 flushes to break it up and get it down the drain.
The odd thing was that I had to go again about 2 hours after that and the results were only slightly less impressive. I felt much better immediately. If that is my most notable life achievement, I will take it.
I have to ask if anyone, other than me, knows about the “poop report” website?
I’m noticing a lot of subjective anecdotes, here, but precious few actual measurements, and the few measurements that are being given are all fairly unimpressive.
Amen!
The lil’wrekkers girlfriends all announce to each other on instagram, with pictures, their poops. It’s totally disgusting. This had been going on since highschool. I don’t get it at all. I’ve seen some impressive sized poops from these girls. I’m gonna tell the lil’wrekker to have everyone start weighing them. Oh, they’ll do it, with no hesitation. I’ll let you know the outcome (heh) of this experiment.
You mean girls actually create turds just like us guys? 
Note: See entry #24 especially of the Cracked photoplasty in the link.
50 responses and I’m the first?
ahem
Approximately one shitload.
I was gonna say one ‘butt-load’
metric shit-ton, obviously
A few years ago, I had some major surgery. As I found out by personal experience, opioid induced constipation is a very real thing.
I went approximately a week and a half without a bowel movement, with the nurses urging me to eat the whole time - “you need the nutrition to heal…”. Laxatives, suppositories, even an enema were all no help. Increasingly, I felt like an overstuffed sausage.
When it finally let loose, it was like an avalanche. Comparing my weigh-in from one morning to the next, it seems I pooped out approximately 20 pounds worth. I guess you could say I was full of shit…
I guess this might be slightly off-topic, but I am not so much interested in the weight but in the calories of turd. I have noticed that many recipes state how many calories a certain concoction contributed to your obesity, but I have never read of the consequences an ingredient or preparation has on the end result, and guessing that the relevant thing about weight gain or loss is not the amount ingested but the balance of intake vs. excretion, I wonder if there are any studies about that subject. If not, I wonder if anyone would be interesed in producing them and citing me as the originator of the idea. 
I have not given up yet on being awarded an Ig-Nobel Price, you know.
Now that we’re on the second page, I can bring to mind one of my most popular, in terms of views, thread ever.
OK, Mr. Bill, that’s impressive, but one must note that there are a lot of other things that can cause weight loss between one weigh-in and the next (a day later?), including urine and breathing (few people realize that the lungs are actually the primary excretory organ).
It’s worth noting that in many places around the world, people use dried animal dung as fuel for fires - which is to say that there is significant residual energy content in fecal matter.
This also explains the existence of dung beetles and other forms of life that fill their caloric needs from fecal matter.
(I’ve taken the liberty of fixing that link)