Skidmarks, or Did You Forget Something, Mister?

I could retell the story about my child’s poop. Four days I think it lived for, multiple flushings. It was the undead of the poo world. Whatever paper he used was well gone before this thing showed itself as a true meance.

As far as truly manky places to poo? Eygptian trains. Yes I love to wade ankle depth in someone elses poo whilst on a 12 hour train ride with no option for other pooing places. Toilet paper?? No of course I know you don’t use it, you use the turn-the-tap-and-squirt-my-bum-clean method. It was just the poo dribbling off the spout that put me off a bit.

Oh, toilets in Egypt! That brings back memories. No toilet roll, and no light (although that was probably for the best :slight_smile: ) The toilets in the hotel was fine. It was just places like the coach which were gross. It was a great holiday though.

I could retell the story about my child’s poop. Four days I think it lived for, multiple flushings. It was the undead of the poo world. Whatever paper he used was well gone before this thing showed itself as a true meance.

As far as truly manky places to poo? Eygptian trains. Yes I love to wade ankle depth in someone elses poo whilst on a 12 hour train ride with no option for other pooing places. Toilet paper?? No of course I know you don’t use it, you use the turn-the-tap-and-squirt-my-bum-clean method. It was just the poo dribbling off the spout that put me off a bit.

LOOK my post was like an Eygyptian shit! It was there before you went and after you went and no one knws how it happened!

But yes Eygpt was brillant. In fact in would have been the best 6 months of my life if I could have got over the the no toilet paper thing. Brilliant people, awesome sights, wonderful food, amazing experience. CRAP TOILETS!

I feel so petty that toilets make a difference.

Where’s Lieu? :wink:

Years and years ago - so many years it was almost before there was shit - I worked in a restaurant, or more accurately, a dinner-theater, as a flunky/lackey/myrmidon. We got a lot of old people coming in on buses from Windsor, Ontario, Canada for the Sunday & Wednesday matinees. After one of these shows, while we were waiting for the patrons to leave so we could clean up, an old guy approached me and said, “There’s a toilet running in the men’s room. You might wanna check it out.” I figured no big deal, just jiggle the handle a bit, or open the tank and reseat the flapper. Jiggling the handle didn’t work, so I popped the lid off the tank to see if I could do something with the flapper. Instead, I found a surprise. I found, well, it wasn’t the turd I’m sure you guys were expecting me tell you about holding the flapper open. Nope, not at all. I found some old guy’s shit-covered underwear caught in there. I dunno who pulled 'em out. I just put the lid back and left 'em there for somebody else to find.

Urk. This has definitely gone straight to the top of my “Reasons not to visit Germany” list.

This happened a few jobs ago. I went in a bathroom at work with 2 stalls, one occupied. Started to use the other one, when I realized from the sounds coming under the wall that the guy in the other stall wasn’t using it for his intended purpose - he was giving himself some “manual release”. I was already somewhat committed at that point, so it took me 30 seconds or so to get out of there. As I ran out the door, the guy came out of the other stall - it was the idiot-savant-ish PhD sonar expert I worked with every day. Luckily that project ended a few months later.

Sometimes all is needed is a building with weird plumbing. I was sitting on a toilet, one known to do odd things like bubble, when it suddenly emptied itself. And didn’t fill up again.

My husband went in a men’s room at Shoney’s ( Itold him not to eat the ranch dressing). There was a pile of fresh turnip greens in the urinal. Thankfully, they were not part of the menu.

At a concert years ago, the 3 stall ladies room was filled to capacity. They were using the sinks, the trashcans, there was a line waiting to squat over the drain in the floor, and they were using the buddy system in the stalls.

Back when I worked at Wal-Mart (don’t ask) one of our white tank tops was found in the men’s changing room with deep brown pile of Wal-Martian shit on it. Hey, at least they then used it to wipe with as well.

Ohhh, poor trublmakr! While it mightn’t be the most embarassing story, I could visualize it far, far too easily. They never tell one about stuff like that in parenting magazines, eh? :smiley:

Oh yeah… my face gets red just thinking about that day. It’s not by far the only thing he’s done that has embarassed me. He once pulled my shirt down from the top while I was crossing the street, in front of tons of cars.
Yeah, when he turns the “highly embarassable” age of 13, he’s got some payback coming!! :smiley:

<blink,blink> I never saw any when I was there for 3 weeks, and we went all over the place - private houses of differing vintages, and public pissoirs as well. What I remember of all of them was the very low waterline, and that there must be some killer water pressure there as the flushing was quite zippy compared to american bowls [other than the ones with commercial 2 inch waterlines hooked up to them]

Suggestion to all: Do not drink thick chocolate milkshake while reading this thread.

:frowning:
Did it stop me drinking it though? Heck, no. Mmmmmm chocolate. :smiley:

This reminds me of that Ryans Steakhouse story- I laughed my ass off the first time I read it.

If you are one of the few people who haven’t seen this already

Oh…my :eek:

A word of warning to others, though: Don’t read this story if you are feeling the need to “evacuate” in the very near future. I made that mistake, and I almost replicated the story while sitting here at my desk. Very bad things nearly happened.

I’m reminded of this thread.

And now for my story. Well, actually a friend’s. My friend worked as a sacker at a grocery store, but was sometimes also required to perfrom some janitorial duties. One day he was cleaning one of the bathrooms (I can’t remember which one) and he saw something long and brown lying on the floor in (I believe) one of the stalls. He was puzzled and couldn’t quite figure out what it was. I don’t really understand how that’s possible, but maybe he’d never seen poo outside it’s proper place and just somehow couldn’t make the connection, who knows? Anyway, he picked it up and sniffed it. He sure knew what it was then.

And I’ve got to ask: Why is it that everytime feces is discussed around here, someone says, “Where’s lieu?”

I usually end up “volunteering” to clean the loos where ever I work (if they don’t employ a cleaner) - at least that way I can be sure the place is safe to use. And I have frequently been the [public] potty cleaner as a form of employment … one place I worked, I went to clean the loos one day and discovered someone had been sick in the mens, and hadn’t quite aimed at the bowl …
Another place a woman had left her monthly “thing” on the floor of the cubicle. I felt sorry for the poor cow as it was a seriously heavy flood, but FFS there’s a bin in the cubicles for disposing of those things!!! Which is something an awful lot of women don’t seem to realise, you find [towels and tampons] stuffed behind the cistern, lying on the floor, on the windowsill, balanced on top of the cubicle partition, stuffed in the loo brush holder …

Me, I regularly have un-flushable jobbies (fortunately I have found a wonderful loo cleaner fluid).

When I was very young I farted - or at least I thought I’d farted, went to the loo flushed the goods, exited the loos with my skirt hitched up in my [now brown] kecks …

Further to an incident in a workplace, I no longer get diarrhoea, I get a dose of the(former co-worker’s name), which I merrily flush away …

Unbelievable, the quote by itself was “two characters too short” to post.

[Cheech & Chong]Good thing he don’t step in it.[/Cheech & Chong]