The cannibal on the debate team loses his temper and eats his opponent. The next day he suffers a stomach ache all day. He goes to the witch doctor. “I think you’ll be okay,” says the witch doctor, “you just ate something that disagreed with you.”
Bless you. For some reason, that made me laugh harder than anything has all day. 
Glad I could make you laugh, [del]Miss Jess-[/del] Drae.
So, we sent out a “sorry you’re leaving” card to someone who quit. Her and I used to hardly know each other but recently we have gotten to be better friends. I thought she could take a joke, you know? So I put:
“Who are [your AA] and I going to talk about now? Kidding!”
And her AA just called me and said “We just got your mean card in!” And I said, "Mean card?’ And she read this part off to me, and I said, “Did you not see where I said I was kidding? Of course I was kidding! Why would I ever say such a thing and mean it seriously!” So she answers, “Oh, well, I’m going to tell her you’re kidding.”
UM - that’s what the card says, you dolt. Your office has just lost respect in a) reading comprehension, and b) humour.
Yeah. Strange your parents named you Pumpkin though. 
Sean my knock knock jokes have been in ABC order because I have a very orderly mind and have them filed that way. Or, the place I’m gettin’ 'em from has 'em in ABC order. I’ll leave that up to you to figure out.
donkeybear congrats on the new digs. Is this the way y’all figured out how to get rid of slacker roomie?
Snakes I suppose a cat in a hockey jersey is as good as anybody else might do. Go for it. Or, you could put the jersey and a Carmen Miranda hat on Cricket and take a picture. Of course then, he’ll just wait for you to go to sleep so he can destroy you. So, you just have to decide whether or not it’s worth winning that bad.
LiLi Aerin is not trying to be adorable. He’s trying to kill y’all. It’s the beginning of his evil plot to take over the world. That is the goal of every cat. Beware! :eek:
Well, if you ask my dad, they actually named me Jester.
morning all
**SCL ** - i missed the link for the Cricket pic - please point me to it (I love the “stuff on my cat” website btw)
**Drae ** - I knew your name long before the rest of them 
regarding humorless cow-orkers - there have been several occassions where I have been “called on the carpet” for “inappropriate” remarks that were CLEARLY intended as jocular, but a 3rd party observer took it upon themself (attn grammar nazis: I know there’s something wrong with that, but screw it) to take offense on the recipient’s behalf
Swampy, I thought we were buddies, and now you’re trying to get me killed. It took an hour just to get her in the damned jersey - I’d still be running around, chasing her and picking up pieces of the hat, if I had tried to put a hat on her. Some of the pics on “Stuff on my Cat” amaze me - I think they use sedatives. I’ll be sitting here looking at the pictures and one of my cats will give me that “don’t even think about it” look.
Oh, yes–anyrose --I sit on a level I warning for just that reason. Makes me just want to work extra and all that. Not.
Ellen --did you post before my ravings of newfound popularity? I am sorry, I didn’t see it. That is a bummer–to post and then have the benefactors overlook it! (sorry). :eek:
But life is not a popularity contest (I have turned over a new leaf this morning. That and I got my final exam grade for boot camp). yay. Still don’t know my final grade, but it’s either an A or a B (more likely the latter). I’m good.
Off to luncheon with my own personal librarian–and a good friend. I’m excited–I get to go out! Wahoo! It’s Panera, but it’s out!
MBG --they changed #2 son’s route! Tis a whole new bus company AND they are delivering to more than one school district(they drop off at the primary school and then go on to a Catholic one). I nevah hoid of sech a ding! He is now on route 40 (huh?). But it’s still my driveway, so I’m happy.
Hell, I quit my last job over something like that. I made a joke in front of people who had known me and my sense of humor for over three years, and somebody decided that it was offensive (to insult a piece of paper, which is what I did), and went three levels over my head to complain to the Regional Supervisor for my section, who’d never even met me.
Well, thanks. I curb my sense of humor a great deal outside of my immediate office*, and this one time I let a tiny bit of it peek out, and see what happens?
*I gotta admit, the two girls in this office are great, and funny.
Drae, I’ve had that happen, and you always wonder what the reaction of the big so-and-so was. A politely blank look, while his mind furiously races to figure out who this person is? Stunned disbelief? Complete and utter bafflement?
Greetings! Went to the vet this morning. I am slightly poorer, and wondermutt is goo free.
SCL, I think they use catnip. It’s easy to put things on a cat when it is stoned out of its gourd.
LiLi, it could be worse. I’ve woken up with the cat sitting on my chest just staring at me.
link please
oh and I checked the “who’d you like to meet thread” - 
no one wants to meet me pout pout pout pout
Well, I have met you. 
I’ve offered to date you already, and you pout about a no-show in that wannabe thread?
Yeah, I realize the fact I’m married sorta gets in the way…
that, and the fact that you’re many states away
Yay me cause I figured out how to handle doing a return label for Fed-Ex all by myself! What? I revel in the small victories myself.
Eep cause I’ve been talking to the travel folks about some travel arrangements for October. Today is not a good day to talk about flying. :eek: See, I’m not afraid to fly, I just don’t like it, never have liked it and never will like it. It is however, a pretty efficient way to get half or all the way across the country in the shortest amount of time, so I do it.
Snakes we are buddies. I just think a cat in a Carmen Miranda hat would be tres funny.
Hi Taters! Hope you’re having fun on your adventure!
Hi scout! I feel her presence lurking here today. I’m feeling kinda [del]psycho[/del] psychic.
Even though I’ve played hooky once this week already, Ima consider sneakin’ out of this joint in a few minutes. I Don Juan be here anyways.
I am ready for a nap. I am so tired. Plus there is something that is triggering my allergies, I am sniffling and sneezing all over the place.
Yes, swampy, this is how we got rid of him. He’s got a frat buddy and another one of our mutual friends from high school coming in to replace me and AG. We are moving instead of him because we don’t really want to stay here anyways… there is no central air or dishwasher or garbage disposal (I know! Kids these days!). And there are ants sometimes and roaches sometimes and our landlord (3 months after us moving in) still hasn’t fixed anything like our 3 broken windows or blinds or the broken porch swing or anything that was broken when we moved in. Everyone warned me not to rent from him, but we did.
So, we’re paying the same amount per month ($ridiculous) for a 2 bedroom townhouse. It has all those things that we wished that we had here, but don’t.
c-bear - that’s great - and what an effecient way to kill two birds with one stone. Now crappy landlord will blame lousy ex-roommate for all the bugs and they can fight it out:
I assume the new digs also does **not ** have creepy critters underfoot?