Q: What relationship is your brother-in-law’s wife to you?
A: Your sister.
Q: Do you use Night Guard?
A: No, but I use Right Guard.
Q: Would a goldfish survive being flushed down the toilet?
A: Sure, puppies do, and they’re a lot bigger.
Q: something is not yet in existence, does it exist?
A: Short answer-no. Long answer-nooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Q: New York Democrats Hide the Keys to the Senate?
A: Yea, they hid them in their bra so the Republicans couldn’t get them.
Q: What do you put in your Ramen Noodles?
A: Water works best, vodka- not so good.
Q: Belts on Men - Functional or Decorative?
A: Nothing on a real man is ever decorative.
Q: Once mold starts, can it be eliminated?
A: Did you see the movie “The Blob”? Did they eliminate it?
Q: What drugs would you do if they no longer had any effect?
A: What kinda stupid question is that?
Hmm. Expanding Sarcastic Answers to GQ Questions to include other fora. As the possible originator of this concept, I approve. (Was I the first one to start that thread? It seems unlikely.)
Thanks! I’ve been feeling sarcastic lately, and I have to be very nice at work all the time so I need an outlet.
Here’s another
So, I’ve never made lasagne before…and I’ve never been to me.
I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waiters and waitresses.
Stupid question about twitter.com
Is there a smart question about twitter?
Q: Biggest asshole in Congress
A: By radius or depth?
Q: Hvert ertu að fara?
A: We are DEVO!
Q: Why does it smell so bad in here?
A: It didn’t before you came in.
That’s not always correct. My brother-in-law’s wife was my husband’s sister, not mine.
Unless there’s another name for the husband of my sister-in-law that I’m not aware of…
Mexicans control your damn kids while in public!
Who controls them in private?
By volume.
Q: Is a WWII era Hawaiian 1 dollar bill worth anything?
A: Yes. One dollar.
Chess: Anyone Remember This Game?
Yes. I do, and so did that guy at college, and I suspect these people as well.
Is this one about Chess Nuts Boasting In An Open Foyer?
Q: What’s Inside the Pyramids?
A: The same thing that’s inside Soylent Green
(Dead) people.
**How far “inland” can I get a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier? **
Halfway. After that, you’re going to the coast.
Nah, they’re hanging out with Hugh, the guy who hates flower shops run by monks, and the long-lost twins Juan and Amal.
Dunno if it works but my favorite thing to do…
Me: (Saying perfectly serious comment)
Person: Really?
Me: Nope, gotcha.
It’s such a habit for people (me included) to say “really” after hearing pretty much anything, that I just automatically deadpan “nope gotcha” right afterwards. It’s pretty funny because their reactions tend to be good as opposed to “God, you’re a dick”.
How far “inland” can I get a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier?
A couple hundred feet, as long as you start with a lot of momentum.
Looking for ideas for long-distance interactive projects w/ kids
Bummer about the restraining order.
Where is your favorite place to play fantasy football?
Narnia.
Ghostbuster for Wii: Stuck!
Cross the streams.
Q: Does something smell funny in here?
A: I don’t think so, STUPID!
Q: What would happen if you ate cancer?
A: Don’t.
JKilez
July 4, 2009, 4:09am
20
Q: Is this thread really about stupid answers to stupid questions?
A: No, it is just inane.