“Very good. Yes, there ARE forks in the sink. And that’s right - you’re *not *washing up; you’re standing in your subordinate’s office. It seems the medication’s working!”
“You talkin’ to me?
You talkin’ to me?
You talkin’ to me?
Then who the hell else are you talking…You talking to me?”
“There are forks in the sink. And I’m not washing dishes!”
Snappy/non-sequitur comeback: “Hey, that’s nothing! Did you see Hot Tub Time Machine? John Cusak got a stabbed in the friggin’ eye with a fork!”
Don’t look at me. I always put my dirty forks back in the drawer.
“Sorrty, they only pay me to clean the spoons.”
This is the exact route you should take. “Yeah, you’re probably tired from doing all the dishes at home.”
“What other option did I have? It’s not like my wife can drive all the way over here every day. Sheesh!”
I already had the dog give them a once-over, Ms. PICKY!
“Thanks for the update.”
“Wait, you mean the kitchen has forks now? When did we get those?”
“I support you 100 percent. I don’t wash dishes, either.”
“What else do you want us to do with them? Leave them all over the place?”
“There are employees in here, and I’m not bathing them.”
“We’ll add that to the list of things you don’t do.”
Use them dirty if you like. By the way I think somebody used one to remove their phone from the toilet.
Hahaha. I like that one better.
I don’t think this is passive aggressive at all, this is just regular management.
Problem -> identify problem.
Passive aggressive would be to insult you without talking about you at all, e.g. I guess someone who doesn’t care about this company also doesn’t care enough to keep the sink clean.
Imho, if your boss sees a mess, and says, “Clean up this mess,” there’s no snappy answer possible. Anything you say is an excuse, whining, or “being difficult.”
For my example I would respond with, “Thank god they get promoted out of here so quick.”
Do you remember the kid’s song “A hole in the bucket Dear Liza”?
Sing it!
There are forks in the sink
The sink is by the fridge
The fridge is in the kitchen
The kitchen is in the office
The office has the boss
Who bitches about ev-ery-thing.
I don’t know how to type with rhythm. 
I had an awful day and this one cracked me up. Thanks.
“G’wan, fire me. I dare you.”
“You think THAT’S bad? You wouldn’t believe where the spoons are!”
Time for the passive agressive pit bull.
I’d go with mom, especially if you look over 30.
“What other option did I have? It’s not like my mom’s gonna drive over here every day. Sheesh!”
This one would have been particularly effective, given the germophobia of the woman in question. Gawd, I wish I could think on my feet!
There’s only one solution. Any time someone says something you don’t like you need to reply “I’ll be right back.” We’ll be here waiting.
Ok, I’ll do the dishes, you do the forks.