Snappy Comebacks for my Passive-Agressive Boss

I told you not to hire Uri Geller. He’s going senile.

[Bugs Bunny]“Head for the Hills or you’ll be up to your armpits in Sheffield!!!”[/Bugs Bunny]

“And there’s a stick up your ass but I am not giving you a high colonic.”

“Sorry, I always put 'em in there after I’m done scratching my rash.”

“Not mine. I lick mine clean and put it back in the drawer.”

“I’m certain that if you try you can find something more important to think about. . .”

Well, you know what they say: a fork in the hand is worth two in the sink.

a) Don’t worry, I don’t think anyone here is contagious
b) Don’t cut your tongue eating from the knife